Bride publicly humiliates sister after she 'insults' her wedding dress. AITA?

"AITA for humiliating my sister after she insulted my Wedding Dress?"

I (29F) just got married. My sister “Tara” (27F) and I have never had the best relationship. She’s always been pretty insecure, and growing up, there was a lot of tension between us. I’ve always tried to be sensitive to it, but it’s been hard because she has a tendency to lash out in passive-aggressive ways. It got much worse when I got into a college that she didn't get into.

At my wedding, I was mingling with the guest and Tara came up to me and told me that I would have looked better in red. It's an insult, basically saying the bride should be in red is calling them a wh@re. That they are not pure enough to wear white.

I told her, “I get it, Tara. You’re jealous, and still a virg@n, but this isn’t the time to make your insecurities my problem.” I didn’t shout, but my tone was harsh.

Tara stormed off, and I could tell some people overheard. My brother later told me I was out of line and should apologize, that I humiliated her in front of everyone. Tara wants an apology and I was being an AH. My dad and mom told me she will have to get over it because this has been an ongoing issue. AITA?

Let's see what readers had to say:

You are NTA and your Mom and Dad are right - Tara will have to get over her jealousy and learn to deal with her own feelings more appropriately.

BTW, kudos to your parents for NOT urging you to apologize to Tara just to keep the family peace! I've read ever so many letters from people whose parents pressure them like crazy to apologize / knuckle under to outrageously obnoxious family members in the interests of family harmony.

Those parents are so terrified of conflict that they'll throw their own kids under the bus just to shut up the loudest, most spoiled and selfish member of the family if that family member squawks loudly enough!

Of course, all this does is to reward that family member and encourage them to go right on acting like a brat. Your parents are wise enough to see that this never works and that your sister can and should be held to a higher standard. Seriously, OP - good for you AND good for your parents!

aikah writes:

ESH. Is everyone super petty on this thread or something? You’re both TAs. She was way out of line and you should have risen above it for the sake of your wedding day. Now look where you are, having to justify yourself to your own family when she was clearly in the wrong.

You can’t even claim you’re the victim now because you were equally as vile. You both insulted each other, who the hell cares who said what first? Not saying she didn’t have it coming, but you didn’t need to do that to your little sister. You should apologise, and you should make her aware that this is the last time you’ll be doing so until she gets some therapy and stops having such a negative outlook on life.

fleeez writes:

YTA? Am I way out of touch? It sounds like a weird thing to tell a bride, but are you maybe overthinking it?

Downvote me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like unsolicited fashion advice, not criticism of your "purity".

I googled "what does red wedding dress mean" and found 10 different answers, but none were negative whatsoever.

fantagh writes:

Nta. Tell your brother. I will apologize after she apologizes and means it for calling me a whore at my wedding in front of others. Until then, you both can go to hell because not only was she being a bully and cruel, but it's also rude to the other guests who are not our family by throwing a tantrum.

So both of you need to grow up and realize the world doesn't revolve around her wanting it to be about her. And dear brother, I will say this. I hope whoever you marry has your support when our sister turns her entitled attitude onto them, otherwise you will end up living and supporting our sister, and that will be your life.

Never having love or kids because any sane person will never stay with someone who allows and supports their sister abusing them. Nor will they allow any kids you have around her or you when you will let her treat them like this.

And if you won't let her do that to them but will to me then you don't see me as family which means I will step back from you both and you only have yourself to blame if you need help and have no one who will help because she turns on you when her target is gone. Enjoy your little family with her because I am done letting you enable her being an entitled b&h. Then block them both.