Bride refuses to let friend's son attend child-free wedding, 'I am unable to have kids.' AITA?
"AITA for not letting my friend’s son into my wedding?"
I (22 female) am marrying my college classmate (24 male) who I have been dating for 3 years. We met when we were both a part of our college’s newsletter and because of those circumstances, we invited all of our friends from the newsletter, as well as some new members who we don’t know very well.
I always wanted kids, but I am unable to have them due to medical reasons, since that is very hard on me, me and my fiancé decided to have a child-free wedding, just so we aren’t reminded of my medical problem, and instead are as happy as we could ever be.
My fiancé has two little sisters (14 f, 12 f) and they are really close to us, so of course they were an exception to the no kids rule. One of our friends from the newsletter (24 f) was a teen mom, and has a 7 year old son, we gave her a plus-one invite, and she called to tell us she was bringing her son.
We told her she couldn’t bring him, because like the invite said, we were having an adult only wedding, but she mentioned she saw on facebook that my fiancé’s sisters were coming and that it would be unfair to not allow her son to come as well. My fiancé quickly stated she wasn’t wrong and that we should let her bring her son to the wedding, but I refused.
She then threatened not to come at all and my fiancé had enough of it, telling her not to bring her son before hanging up. The day of the wedding came and we were very excited. As I was preparing, my mom came to my room to tell me my friend brought her son.
I told her to not allow either of them in and my mom did just that. I woke up the next day to texts from her mentioning how cruel it was of us towards her son, and my husband agreed with her calling me a bad person. So, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
forgeris said:
NTA, your wedding had clear rules and children from bride/groom side like siblings/kids are always an exception that can't be used to sneak in other kids. Why people just do not accept that rules are rules and they are not special, bride and groom is special, everyone else is there for them.
TassieBorn said:
NTA, but if he agreed that you're a "bad person," you have a husband problem.
Malibu_Cola said:
NTA. The sisters are more like mini adults instead of kids, and they’re family. You explicitly told the woman multiple times that it was kid free and she still decided to bring her son. She f’d around, she found out.
ParsimoniousSalad said:
NTA. Your wedding wasn't about her. She was explicitly told her child wasn't invited and she decided her desires mattered more.
Redd1tmadesignup said:
You’re NTA she clearly thought you wouldn’t refuse a child once put on the spot. I’d also be telling your new husband his feelings are in the wrong place, he should be supporting you, HIS WIFE. Not someone who was testing your limits.
z3vil said:
Nta- family always gets exceptions to the rules (when you allow it), other guests don’t get to decide what rules they do and don’t follow. You told her no, she pushed it and faced the consequences