Bride seeks revenge on sister on wedding day, 'she REFUSED to do something for me.' AITA? UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to do something special on my wedding day for my sister because she refused to do something for me at hers?"

I (30F) I'm getting married this Sunday, and my sister Jessica (28F) got married two years ago. A couple of weeks before her wedding my ex left me for another woman, and it was devastating because I thought that he was going to propose soon.

At my sister's wedding, I asked her if she could throw the bouquet to me as to wish me luck, but she refused and said that she "didn't wanna damage it." I asked her to lend it to me for a couple of pics instead and she refused that too. I said nothing more and I didn't bring it up again until now.

Okay, my sister is pregnant and wants to announce it at my wedding, she asked and I said absolutely not. When she asked why, I told her that 1. The wedding is for my fiance and I; 2. She didn't do what I asked her to do at her wedding, so why would I do what she asks in mine?

She's pissed and says that I'm being ridiculous. Our mother says that I'm being childish. AITA? (Tomorrow is the wedding and my sister is currently not talking to me, and neither is my mother. I cannot uninvite them but I'm very concerned.)

Here's what people had to say to OP:

SmoochNo said:

NTA for not wanting a pregnancy announcement at your wedding but I guarantee she’s going to make one.

Quiet-Hamster6509 said:

You can absolutely guarantee she or your mother will announce it at your wedding anyway.

DazzlingPotion said:

NTA but she’s going to announce it anyway.

Puzzled-Safe4801 said:

She is going to announce it. Have a plan in place with your band or DJ and with your friends to shut her crap down.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 said:

NTA. Also warn your DJ that if your sister starts to speak to he should turn up the music , because she’s definitely going to try to announce it anyway.

jorceshaman said:

NTA.The flower thing was a MUCH MUCH smaller ask and she couldn't do it for you. Announcing your pregnancy at someone else's wedding is insanity!

[deleted] said:

NTA. Your wedding is about you and your fiancé, not a stage for someone else’s big moment, especially someone who couldn’t extend you even a small courtesy at her own wedding. You’re not obligated to make a special exception for someone who refused to do the same for you. Holding people to their own standard isn’t childish, it’s fair.

UPDATE:

Hi everyone, just here to give you an update. First of all, thank you so much for all the advice and support. I wanted to clarify a couple of things: I wanted a photo with the bouquet for myself—my ex wouldn't have seen it anyway, as I go strictly no contact after breakups.

Some people were also concerned that I expected her photographer to take pictures of me for free. That wasn't the case. Her wedding was very low-cost, and I was actually the photographer, so I just meant I wanted to take a selfie.

Now for the update. I had a talk with my mother and sister beforehand and clearly told them that if either of them announced the pregnancy or made it obvious in any way, I would go no contact with them for good. They either didn’t believe me or didn’t care.

My wedding was also low-cost. On my side, the only family attending were my mom, stepdad, uncle, sister, and brother-in-law. My now-husband only had his mother there. The rest of the guests were five friends we both invited. There were no speeches or anything formal planned.

The ceremony went smoothly, and we moved to the reception area. As soon as we sat down, my sister said she had something to share. I looked at her and said, “No, you don’t.” It was awkward, since most people there had no idea what was going on. In my country, wedding gifts are usually given after the cake. Well, MY MOTHER handed my sister her gift and said, “The new mom also deserves some recognition.”

That was it for me. My sister started crying happy tears and even had the audacity to try to hug me. I stepped aside and told both of them that the celebration was over—for them. They left, because my stepdad and brother-in-law finally realized I wasn’t joking. I haven’t responded to any of their calls or messages. I’m done.

Here's what people had to say about the update:

ForwardPlenty said:

NTA. They asked, you said no, that should have been the end of it, but they were hell-bent on announcing it and stealing your day. They could have announced it the day before, the day after, but no they went against your expressed wishes and just had to announce it during your wedding celebrations.

They think that the world is their stage and they deserve the spotlight to be on them at all times, and can't imagine other people being actually real and having their own lives that exist outside of their scripted universe. You are right to drop the rope and move on without them.

Fit-Bumblebee-6420 said:

Now breathe. Don't respond. Don't engage. NTA again.

Annual_Version_6250 said:

Well look at it this way...THEY made the decision to go no contact, so you don't have to think about them again.

MariaInconnu said:

Why were they so dead-set on announcing the pregnancy to...your friends? If your extended family were there, they'd have the excuse that all the family was conveniently gathered, but in this case, their only audience was a group of people who just won't care that a man banged his wife and successfully impregnated her.

era_hickle said:

Good for you. Some lines you just don't cross and they stomped all over yours. I probably would've done the same thing. Family or not, that level of disrespect is unacceptable. You gave them a clear warning and they chose to ignore it. Now they have to live with the consequences. NTA.

Nachibt said:

So, let me get this straight...there were only 11 guests at your wedding and 6 of them had nothing to do with your sister. And of the remaining 5, 3 already knew (sister, mom and bil). So the announcement was just for your uncle and stepfather? Why was it so important to announce it at the wedding then? I don't understand. NTA.