Bride shares tragic rehearsal dinner saga; 'My MIL's dietary restrictions RUINED everything.' UPDATED

When this bride is furious with her MIL, she tells the internet:

"Getting married and MIL is upset because we have to find a restaurant that caters to her needs. I'm literally the bride."

I'm getting married and I have an insane mother in law (like, got kicked out of hospitals for abusing her cancer doctor crazy) and she always complains about having to go to a restaurant that has gluten free options that aren't a salad.

She's paying for the rehearsal dinner, and we gave her a long list of places where there's gluten free options, all in a good price range. She doesn't even know ANY of the restaurants where I live. Not a single one except the list we gave her.

She b&ed to my fiance about it so badly that he straight up said he wouldn't invite her if she kept doing these kinds of things to me, so bravo to him. She always makes sure, literally tells it to my face that I am a huge inconvenience.

Before we give you OP's updates, let's take a look at top responses:

sensi writes:

I went to a wedding last year for a very good friend of mine. He made sure that the venue had gluten-free options, were segregated, and followed industry health standards for food handling regarding allergens. Even got the venue to write it into the agreement.

Turns out they fd up and some of the GF foods were not in fact GF. Groom jumped up (hadn't even touched his dinner), ran over and grabbed the plate from me, said "don't eat ANYTHING".

Proceeded to chew out the venue, made them bring in new (safe) food, and ended up getting a good chunk of their food bill comp'd after the fact. He wrote a strongly worded letter and absolutely chewed out the venue and the person who was in charge of the food.

This friend cared more about my well-being than your MIL. This imho says more about her than anything else could.

I'm so glad your fiance stood up for you. But also remember that she will likely always be this way. I very much have a short-list of people that I trust when it comes to food now.

lol87 writes:

I would freaking elope. But, if that's not what you and future hubby want, I would start sending her medical articles about Celiac disease. Start with one that focuses on fertility problems. Next one should be the hereditary part of it with a focus on what it does to children.

Then my big ass mouth would probably tell her "LOOK, B, It's not my problem that you're mean and old and sick of life, but I'M not, and I want to live a HEALTHY life. This is a SERIOUS condition and my boundaries and rules about food are firm, and this point is NON-NEGOTIABLE."

UPDATE 1:

My friends and family decided if she makes us go somewhere I can't eat, we're all going to go get drinks somewhere and hang out! Everyone is on board and happy to make sure she doesn't come near me during the wedding. I'm not going to let a narcissist ruin our wedding, and my friends are on board to keep her away.

I will say "hello" and "goodbye", but if she tries to say anything more, I'm going to walk away and talk to someone else.

If she makes a scene at my wedding, well, I'll watch her make a fool of herself and embarrass herself in front of everyone and enjoy the show, because NO ONE is ever on her side because of the way she acts. Thanks for the support, validation, and kindness. You guys are AMAZING.

UPDATE 2:

Getting married and MIL is upset because we have to find a restaurant with gluten free options for the rehearsal dinner. I'm literally the bride.

Well, the situation has been fixed, but I think I almost gave my MIL a stroke.She got a lot more controlling than just the restaurant.(Surprise, surprise)

First, she called me and screamed that no one in her family can eat at the restaurant we chose, that they all looked at the menu and said they all want pizza. (Somewhere I've been glutened before).

She said "no one in my entire family can eat there, everyone will be sick, they all hate it." By the way, not giving a shit about my family. So, I decided to call each and every one of her family members that are coming to the rehearsal and asked if they were fine with eating what we picked.

Turns out the MIL called everyone trying to get them to agree with her about getting pizza. They all said they told her they wanted the place we picked, and half of them couldn't even eat pizza. So, she just flat out lied. And just really wants pizza.

She even started inviting and uninviting whoever she wanted. She was cutting people out of the dinner who actually ate participating in the rehearsal, and adding people in who aren't.

Well, she called 2 weeks ago and snapped "were getting pizza, and you have no choice!" So I told her I'm paying for the rehearsal now, not you. We're going to go where we want, you can go get pizza.

This b. This 76 year old woman responded by screaming. She didn't scream no, or any actual words. She just screamed at the top of her lungs. I hung up, blocked her number.

My SO is amazing and that night sent her a text telling her she is no longer any part of the rehearsal or wedding planning. He's been ignoring her texts since (obviously checking for emergencies, but it's just her saying mean shit to him.)

I'm so glad to live 350 miles away from this psycho. I just wanted to eat, what in the f.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

Fourbass: In some locales you can call the local police non-emergency line (or drop in to the local station) and ask about hiring an off-duty officer (in uniform if you wish) to provide security presence at a wedding and reception - and be sure to say they’ll get free food too! 8-).

They may refer you to their local FOP. But young officers are always looking to pick up the odd security job here and there and some extra pay. Their presence tends to have a calming effect on trouble makers. Good luck and best wishes!

OOP

Oh this is so good to know. I f you not , my entire family is ready to kick her out physically, but I don't want them to have to spoil their time. An officer would be better, and damn it will be funny when she makes a scene.

10MileHike

You are the bride, with a serious food sensitivity, but "everyone will be sick if they eat there" was all she had to say? I guess the Everyone didn't include you, the bride.

I hope you enjoy your reception and wedding day. At this point I would run off and get married on the sly and have a reception and wedding sometime in the future if and when your controlling MIL comes to her senses.

OOP

I've always wanted a traditional wedding since I was a little girl, but she even made me want to just elope. But I'm not going to let some old mad woman ruin that. I will grab my popcorn and watch her make a fool of herself. No one is going to see her freak out and go "it's the brides fault"

Pale_Expert

It sounds like she was not paying for the rehearsal dinner out of kindness but rather some sort of weird power play as the MIL. Good for you for putting your foot down.

We have not seen my husband’s mother since our wedding day 13 years ago because she had a history of abuse, narcissism and lying and she pulled some toxic shit at the reception. Sometimes cutting people out of your life is the smart choice.

OOPShe wanted to pay for it because my family is paying for the wedding and anytime my family does something nice, she has to try and compete.

Ex. My family brought my fiance on a trip to SA, for free, for 2 weeks. All MIL did was call my fiance to complain and talk s about my family.