Bride asks wedding guests to forgo 30% discount and book as group. AITA?
Isn't the whole point of a destination wedding to have a tropical getaway and hope that half your guest list doesn't show up?
So, when a frustrated all-inclusive resort destination bride decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the A#*hole' about guests ditching her room block for a timeshare, people were ready to roast her.
"AITA for requiring destination wedding guests to only book through our block (and not their timeshare)?"
We're having an all-inclusive destination wedding. Like most places, we're required to book a room block in advance. To qualify for discounts for guests, guaranteed rooms, and various other wedding package perks, we must book X amount of people through the room block we paid for in our contract.
It turns out 2 of our guests have a timeshare through the resort, effectively slashing their reservation price by about 30% from the online price. Our package cuts it down maybe 10% at most (weddings must be in demand...hmm I wonder why). Without asking, they went ahead and booked their timeshare, only to tell us later.
Then they shared their timeshare membership to 4 other guests (6 total now), who are all booking reservations through the wholesale timeshare company. It's one of those multi-resort packages that costs a lump sum, and then once or twice per year the member gets heavily discounted vacations.
We were okay planning around 2 guests, but now 6 guests are circumventing our wedding package that we paid for altogether. We are now somewhat worried about meeting our minimum guests booked through package threshold in the contract to have the wedding, ceremony, and rehearsal.
Without the minimum guest threshold, we lose the rehearsal and ceremony. I'm sure we can ask for an exception and pay any extra fees out of pocket if it comes to it.
We'll also probably fail to meet other tiers that would give our package the extra oomph we wanted to subsidize rooms and pass around upgrades to guests, bringing down the cost of the wedding as a whole for everyone coming. We can't guarantee any subsidization until we reach a tier that helps us towards that goal, so I don't want to dangle that carrot in front of their heads.
We could tell them to book 3 nights (the required minimum through our package) through us, and then any other nights through their timeshare. But I'm tempted, for simplicity's sake, to tell them no altogether. They need to book through the wedding package to be a part of the wedding. Am I the a*&hole?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:
CrunchM said:
YTA. You don't get to spend other people's money. A destination wedding is already a stretch for a great number of people (I don't want to hear from you that these people can afford it, you have no idea what they can or cannot do).
jenneybearbozo3 said:
YTA. Your guests are there to celebrate with you, not underwrite your wedding. The last destination wedding I went to several guests did exactly this, and the bride and groom were just happy they came. If you try to force people to stay where you want,,they might not come.
FormalFistBump said:
YTA, it's not up to you where people stay, and especially not how they choose to pay for that stay.
SnooWords4839 said:
YTA - pay for your own wedding and allow your guests to not waste their money when they can stay cheaper.
Solrackai said:
YTA, is this a wedding or are you a sales person for the resort, trying to get a commission.
Bunnyrpger said:
So you're Pyramid scheming (style) this wedding? Yeah, YTA. They can get a better deal with their own connections but you want to ban it so you can get more people invested in your scheme so you get greater rewards. Unless you can offer them a better deal then 30% off, they should use their own method.
Migraine-AddledBrain said:
Hey, Bridezilla, YTA!!! First of all, a destination wedding basically screams to people “I don’t really care if you can afford this or not. I don’t give a crap how much vacation time you get from your job or if you’d sacrifice a whole year because I am so entitled.
And lastly, I’m going to insist you pay MORE and do it through my block because I get added benefits. Never mind that I also expect an expensive gift in addition to you having to shell out airfare, accommodations, possibly a new/different wardrobe, food and drinks, etc. and so on.”
You saddled people with a huge expense for the privilege of seeing you get married and now you want to demand that they pay a higher rate. Bridezilla might be too kind.
Later, the post was edited by OP to include:
We don't save more money if more people book. We can just pass out more free rooms and upgrades, and other guest discounts (spa package discounts, free golf, etc).
That's what I meant by bringing down costs of the wedding as a whole. Our package is a flat $ rate regardless of who books, so long as a minimum # of guests book through the block. If the minimum isn't met, we lose our private reception and dinner, but it doesn't cost us more.
Not verbatim, but I've gone ahead and told them congrats on the discount. We're happy they are all able to attend. Make sure to keep in touch with the travel agent who is more familiar with the resort to make sure all goes smoothly.
I do know transportation to and from the airport won't be provided outside the package, so make sure to ask your timeshare reps how they recommend tackling that (we hadn't planned ahead last time and ended up paying $60 each way).
And that I'll ask if the resort needs to give you a specific colored wristband or anything to indicate that you are a part of the wedding so that you have no issues.