'AITA for suspecting my MIL staged the 'dress drama' to one-up me before my wedding?'

First, OP shared this post:

"Wedding planning feels like a tug-of-war with my MIL"

So I knew planning a wedding would come with opinions, but I didn’t expect my future MIL to have this many strong feelings about it. At first, it was little things, she’d suggest different flowers or ask if I’d thought about adding another 50 people to the guest list. I brushed it off as excitement. But over the last month, it’s become a full-on tug-of-war.

Example: she called my fiancé behind my back to say the ceremony location I chose was too modern and we should switch to the church she likes. When he gently told her no, she cried and said I was taking her son away.

Then came the dresses. I showed her the bridesmaids’ color (a muted sage green I love), and she wrinkled her nose and said, “Oh, honey, that’s so drab. You should do something bright. Like fuchsia.” I laughed it off in the moment, but it stung.

And the kicker, last week she told me, very seriously, that she was going to make a grand entrance at the reception because, in her words, “this wedding is as much about me as it is about you two.”

I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that point. My fiancé stepped in right away and told her that wasn’t appropriate, which I appreciated more than I can say. Still, it left me with this pit in my stomach about how the actual day might go if she’s already trying to upstage me now.

I want to keep the peace because I really do want her in our lives, but I’m also feeling protective over the wedding we’re planning. It’s supposed to be about celebrating love, not competing over who gets the spotlight. Has anyone else had their MIL or DIL relationship tested during wedding planning? How did you set boundaries without making things worse?

Then four days later, she shared this:

"AITA for thinking my MIL staged “the dress drama” just to one-up me?"

So here’s the tea. I (the DIL-to-be) am getting married in a few months, and everything was going smoothly until my MIL decided she wanted to be part of the process.

She insisted on coming to a bridal shop visit with me and my mom. At first, I thought Great, she wants to be included. But the second I put on my dream gown, MIL suddenly started tearing up and telling everyone loudly: “That looks exactly like the dress I wore at my wedding. But mine had more lace. And more sparkle. And honestly, it fit me better, too.”

The whole room went silent. The consultant looked like she wanted to melt into the carpet. My mom gave me that look. And MIL? She just sat there, smiling like she’d won something. Later, she casually suggested she could lend me her old gown instead, because it’s practically the same, but more flattering.

Now I’m torn. Part of me wants to just ignore her comments and move on. But another part of me feels like this was intentional, like she came just to create drama and make herself the star.

So, what do you think? Am I overthinking this, and she just had a weird nostalgia moment? Or is this a classic case of MIL trying to reclaim the spotlight? And do I shut it down now, or let her keep playing dress-up in her head?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

GrouchyYoung said:

“What a weird thing to say out loud”

Backseatwithbigmama1 said:

I’d just ignore it. She made herself look silly, no need to wade into her drama. However, I would NOT invite her to join you for any fittings.

Pepsilover12 said:

NTA you tell your MIL in the next group atmosphere that there’s no way you’d ever wear her dress you are going for something modern and elegant which is not her old worn dress

Melodic-Dark6545 said:

This is sure a classic case of MIL trying to reclaim the spotlight. If you accept, at the wedding she will show off saying it is her gown, but it looked more flattering on her.

Out of curiosity, have you seen MIL's wedding dress? I just can't believe a quite old dress, at least 20 years old, is "practically the same" as a now day one! Fashion just doesn't work that way. I felt in love with a gown that was out 4 years ago and I just can't find it, so I am planning on hiring a seamstress.

And FMIL wants you to believe her gown is "practically the same"???? Just for that I am positive this was reclaiming the spotlight

AreaMiserable9187 said:

“Thank you for your kind offer but this is more me!”

ItwasntallfunNgames said:

Accept the dress from her. Alter the hell out of it. Look like a rock star. Let everyone know how much you had to alter a plain dress to make it look fabulous for you. Let everyone know that you were doing poor OLD mil such a favor because she has nothing else to offer. Thank her for letting you have something VERY OLD for your "something old."