Bride takes sister's side in family 'wedding war,' removes cousin completely. AITA?
"AITAH for taking my sister's side when her and my cousin had a 'wedding war?'"
So last year my sister (19F), my cousin (24F) and myself (25F) all got married. A big year for weddings lol. My wedding had been planned for about 3 years and was dated for the end of the year, my cousin had gotten engaged a year before and was getting married in the summer, and my sister had a shotgun wedding that ended up happening first, in June.
Her and her now husband have a great relationship, and decided to get married to “start things right” with their kid, as both they and my extended family are Christian and believe married parents are important to a child’s upbringing. When June came, my sister was already 6 months pregnant, and was desperately looking to plan a wedding on short notice before she had her daughter.
They took the first venue that offered them a date and managed to put together and pay for a gorgeous wedding all on their own. Challenge is, the wedding was exactly one week before my cousins. My cousin hadn’t told us the date until after the venue was booked and we only found out when she freaked because my sister was “taking over."
She uninvited my sister and I, and went off on my little sister saying she had only planned things the way she did so that she could be the first one of us to get married. She also called my sisters child to be an abomination and said that it was ungodly.
Despite all this my sister still extended an invitation to her wedding, which my cousin refused to come to. My cousin managed to convince that entire side of the family that my sister had gotten pregnant and planned her wedding all in some vindictive scheme to be “first” like that mattered at all. And shockingly my aunts, uncles, other cousins, and grandparents took my cousin's side. So here’s what I did.
My wedding was planned for December, and we had chose a very intimate venue that would only fit 30 people including our bridal party. I originally intended to have my cousin and sister as bridesmaids, but decided to remove my cousin from my wedding completely.
My sister was my MOH and my only bridesmaid. Her daughter was my flower girl, and my cousin's family was also not invited. I’ve gotten a lot of flak for this from my family, and I have no regrets. So, AITAH for removing them from the wedding?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
BeautifulPhantom1 said:
NTA, they created drama where there was only necessity due to religious beliefs. Your immediate family (siblings, mother, father, children) should be priority over distant family (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents).
You stood up for your immediate family. Good on you. I would tell them where, how hard, and at what uncomfortable angle they can shove their flack, but that's me.
everellie said:
NTA. You stand up for your sister, and don't feed the dragon that is your cousin's vindictiveness.
MNConcerto said:
NTA, cousin and family would have continued the drama at your wedding. Who calls someone an abomination just because the got married first? Good God, your cousin has scene stealer or primary character written all over her.
ConfidentRepublic360 said:
NTA. You don’t have to be nice to people who are mean to you.
Sensitive-Medium-367 said:
NTA F them, anyone who sided with her after saying those horrible things to your sister deserve to be cut out of your life, you're a good sister, I hope my kids always have each others back like this.
tubby_b^tch said:
Nta. Ungodly abomination..... how very Christian of her.