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Bride tells sister she can't be MOH because she doesn't have the right 'look'.

Bride tells sister she can't be MOH because she doesn't have the right 'look'.


Choosing the people for your bridal party is a big decision. These will be the most important people at the wedding, besides you and the person you're marrying. They symbolize a significant part of your life and can also offend people for not being chosen. On a popular Reddit thread on the Am I the A**hole Subreddit, one woman is not pleased with her sister's bridal party decisions.

She writes:

My sister and I aren't best friends, but we have a good relationship. Good enough that I assumed I would either be MOH or a bridesmaid when she got engaged. She did not ask me despite having a bridal party of 10, but I didn't say anything even though I was a little hurt.

Blood does not grant entitlement.

I get that it was her wedding, and I was not entitled to be in her wedding party, and I eventually got over it.

Only friendship does.

A little afterward, my best friend got engaged and asked me to be MOH, and I happily dived into the responsibility, and it's been a lot of fun for the both of us. I've already been able to plan and execute a lot which has made the experience fun for my friend and less stressful.

This is the worst kind of MOH.

Onto the issue: My sister's MOH honestly dropped the ball. (I know I'm going to be biased, but I've received complaints from family members and other friends). She hasn't put any effort into helping my sister with her wedding, didn't plan anything, never responds to my sister's messages, and generally isn't interested. None of my sister's other bridesmaids are stepping up either (they all have a reason for why they can't spend more time on my sis's wedding).

OP has offered a trade.

My sister recently approached me to plan everything for her: bridal shower, bachelorette, and wedding. She wants me to give her the experience I've given my friend. I was slightly offended because she only asked me after seeing what a great job I did for someone else. But she's my sister, so I told her I'd be willing to help if she made me a bridesmaid. I feel like it's the least she could do, and it would make me feel less like an errand girl and part of the wedding.

This isn't how you ask for a favor.

She refused and said I'd make the numbers off and that I didn't have 'the look' she was trying to accomplish, which REALLY offended me. Like, at this point, I'm just pissed.

So I said, ' Fine, I don't have to be part of the wedding, ' but she needs to hire me as a wedding planner because I'm not doing this for free. It takes a considerable time commitment to do all of this work!

Someone is a tattletale.

She cried to mom and dad now, and they'll all call me an AH because I should do it as a sister. But she's asking me to do hours of work for free, which I feel isn't fair. Now my family is saying I'm ruining her special day by being selfish and making it all about me, so I'm starting to doubt myself.

People on the internet chimed in on why they felt OP was in the right here:

Right_Count says:

NTA (Not the A**hole). Unrelated to whether you’re a bridesmaid or not, that’s too much work to expect, demand, or wheedle out of someone. Let her figure something else out, and enjoy not having any responsibility as a guest.

He_Who_Is_Right says:

Holy entitled princess, Batman. Your sister refused to give you a spot of honor at her wedding, insulted your 'look,' and then cried to mommy and daddy because you're not helping her? How is she even old enough to get married? No, you are NTA.

CreamedCorn says:

NTA. Your parents are siding with her after she said you didn't fit the look is straight-up ghoulish.

MotherEastern3051 says:

'DIDN'T HAVE THE LOOK'???? Your sister sounds very superficial and snobby. Maybe that explains why nobody is falling over themselves to help her. NTA.

If looks could kill, I'm sure you would've slayed after your sister insulted your 'look.'

Sources: Reddit
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