Bride uninvites friend from wedding, 'she just spent $2,000 on my bachelorette.' AITA?
"AITA for uninviting someone from my wedding after she just spent $2,000 on my bachelorette?"
I had my bachelorette party last month—an international trip with 13 girls. Most live in City 1, where I grew up but no longer reside. I now live in City 2, a short flight or 6-hour drive away. One of the girls, “Rachel,” was a high school friend I reconnected with two years ago after getting engaged.
She recently started dating someone new—he’s in City 2 (my city), and she spent the entire trip FaceTiming him. At events, the club, the beach, the yacht, while getting ready, even in the shower.
Worse, she dragged other girls into her calls, even though they barely knew her, let alone him. She also FaceTimed while people were changing or while she herself was fully nude.
At one point, she got into an argument with her boyfriend and handed the phone to her roommate, Jamie—who had never met him—forcing her into the fight. Jamie, fed up, hung up and later asked to switch rooms.
When she wasn’t FaceTiming, she was talking about him nonstop. At dinner, she kept blurting out, “I’m moving to City 2, we’re gonna be neighbors!” But when I asked about her kids, she vaguely said she’d fly or drive home every weekend. This is a mom of 2, with 2 different dads, moving for a boyfriend of 1 month.
One night, during a private chef dinner, the power went out, and Rachel’s phone died. Everyone withheld their portable chargers. She then booked a hotel on someone else’s phone, packed her bags, and left to charge her phone.
Mandy, being too nice, walked with her. On the way, Rachel suddenly desperately needed to call her kids—which was hilarious since she hadn’t mentioned them once. Unfortunately, the power came back, so Rachel did too. Later, while we were playing bachelorette games, she blurted out offensive phrases during Mad Libs. I snapped, and the room went silent.
We had a shared photo album for group pics. Rachel uploaded hundreds of selfies, thirst traps, FaceTime screenshots, texts about how her boyfriend was “the one,” and even mirror selfies from a store where she was trying on clothes without underwear. One dress had a slit, and her hooha was showing.
My fiancé was getting updates from some of the girls. He even asked Jamie to talk to Rachel, and he himself sent her messages about being more self-aware and to stop FaceTiming this guy. Nothing changed.
After the trip, I sent Rachel a message thanking her for coming but making it clear her behavior was completely unacceptable. I also told her she was no longer invited to my wedding. She read it and never responded.
Some friends think I was harsh since she spent time and money to celebrate me. To be clear, I’m not cutting her off because I didn’t feel like the center of attention, LOL. This is about how deeply uncomfortable she made everyone. Since I got back, I’ve heard even more crazy stories that the girls kept from me because they saw how upset I was. AITA for uninviting her?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
nfinite_Slide_5921 said:
NTA, but I have a hard time being sympathetic to someone who has an international trip with 13 people for a bachelorette. You don't have 13 close friends. If you wanted a meaningful occasion, you should have kept it intimate. Going on vacation with a big group you aren't close too is asking for this kind of trouble.
monagr said:
Honestly, you should have shut it down there, not afterwards. And I would've made things clear that she needed to act differently at the wedding, instead of kicking her out. She also seems to be in a really desperate mental state, and probably needs some support. ESH.
wahkens said:
You seriously had a bachelorette where each of the 13 people paid 2k? That is insane.
ktjbug said:
Yta. Did it never once occur to you to say please stop doing that versus asking other people to hint around it for you? You're about to get married. Start figuring out uncomfortable but direct communication before diving in on marital, in law, competing demands etc. This is so small scale.
jerrynmyrtle said:
YTA for thinking you're special and important enough to have 13 girls spend 2k EACH on your bachelorette. Unless y'all are millionaires, that's way too big an ask for a friend. It would be a friendship ending request for me.
Phblastoise104 said:
NTA. That kind of behavior is just so annoying and self centered. Im sorry you had to go thru that during YOUR bachelorette. I would've done the same thing tbh. Ignore all the hate and be confident with your decision.