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Bride asks if she's wrong to uninvite dad to wedding for adding a last minute plus one.

Bride asks if she's wrong to uninvite dad to wedding for adding a last minute plus one.

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Planning a wedding is stressful. Once you put in your numbers with the venue and caterers, it's hard to make changes. That's why Reddit user u/pepperedpickleparty didn't appreciate her dad wanting to add a plus one at the last minute. He feels like since he's paying for it, things should go his way.

So now, this bride-to-be is asking the internet, 'AITA (Am I The A**hole) for uninviting my dad from my wedding?'

She writes:

Hey guys, emotions are still a bit raw but I’ll explain as much as possible.

I (28 F) am getting married in November and since the minute I’ve been engaged everyone has tried to dictate my decisions (I know everyone has an opinion so I’ve politely taken the suggestions and implemented what I can to make everyone as happy as I can)

My dad is on his third divorce and has recently (like two weeks ago) met a woman. He’s only seen her twice and called me last night to tell me he’s bringing her to the wedding - end of story.

I have already sent my final numbers and table plans to the venue and I asked him where I would seat her so last minute, he said he’s paying for it so he can bring who he wants. None of my family have met this woman so I thought it would be unfair for her to be alone at the wedding so I called him to discuss it.

My dad has paid one installment to my wedding venue of about £4000, and consistently hangs this over my head, and whilst I’m grateful he uses it to blackmail me at every opportunity to get what he wants.

During the call he said it “wasn’t my day” and “he’s paid for it so he’s entitled to do as he pleases” and stated my wedding day “isn’t all about me” which is true to some degree I guess. I asked him not to raise his voice as I was previously in an abusive relationship (which he knows about) and yelling makes me nervous.

He began to scream profanities at me and told me all of my friends that I have invited are nobodies, so this stranger of a woman should be no different. He told me I meant nothing to him so I lost my shit and told him not to bother paying any more money and not to come.

I’ve spoken to my sisters (16 and 15, we share the same dad, different mothers) who have both agreed they are also blackmailed with money such as he has threatened to cancel a family vacation with them because they called their mother whilst at his home.

My grandparents say I’m being unreasonable by kicking him out of the wedding. AITA?

Reddit users all agreed that this bride-to-be is not 'The A**hole' for booting dear old dad from her wedding day. No amount of money is worth being verbally abused over. With a Dad like this, who needs enemies, right?

From PurpuraLiber

NTA. Seems like he disinvited himself. But since he is so disagreeable what measures are in place to stop him from just showing up and creating a scene?

From Aquarius052

NTA. Probably the best decision you've ever made. Don't give in, & maybe look at hiring security to keep him away.

From _its_only_forever

NTA. But if you can get a low-interest loan from the bank so that he can't hang money over your head AND uninvite him, it would probably be a big step toward your own independence and self-healing from his emotional abuse.

From teh_stev3

First thought was you were being a bit mean if your dad wanted to bring a +1, but I see now it's much more serious than this.


NTA - your dad evidently uses financial incentive to control and manipulate people. In which case he's not 'paying for your wedding' he's 'buying control over you' and that's shitty.

Basically, sounds like you've dodged a bullet long term with his manipulative and abusive treatment, and I'm just sorry it might have lost you your wedding. Hopefully it'll be better without the blackmail.

From AlphabetSoup51

NTA. Your dad sounds like a narcissist. He wants to have a girlfriend with him not because he cares so much for this woman he just met but because he feels the need to keep up appearances so he can project the false image he wants people to see.

A wedding IS all about the couple. Do other people still matter? Of course. If they didn’t matter to you, you wouldn’t be inviting them. But it’s still YOUR day. It should be how YOU want it.

If your dad had calmly and kindly asked you to make room for a +1, acknowledging that it might create some extra work and showing some appreciation… maybe this would have gone differently. But he came in like a giant AH, and you responded pretty reasonably to that.

Enjoy your wedding. Assign some willing family to keep him out if he shows. Move on with YOUR life.

From Iulia_22

NTA Definitely not the asshole here. I am really sorry that you have to go through this. I cannot imagine how emotional the whole discussion had been. But you did the right thing. That day is not for him or for anyone else. It is your day and your partner s day. I wish you 2 all the best 💌

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