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Bride wants to elope in Vegas after siblings had 'parents-only' weddings, 'We are very close.' AITA?

Bride wants to elope in Vegas after siblings had 'parents-only' weddings, 'We are very close.' AITA?


"WIBTAH if I eloped because my siblings had parents-only weddings?"

I (f29) and my fiancé (m32) are getting married later this year. We have been engaged for almost two years now. We were waiting to get married until we were both in a good financial situation and we finally feel like it’s time. Originally I wanted a wedding with all our immediate families invited (parents, siblings, and grandparents) but over the past two years, two of my siblings got married and only parents were invited.

My siblings and I are very close. We hang out every week, talk all the time, and generally get along amazingly well. One of my siblings (m27) got married to a woman that most of my family doesn’t like. We all treat her well and keep our thoughts to ourselves.

To be honest, none of us see their relationship lasting longer than 5 years, but we’ll never say that to them. They wanted a small wedding with just parents on both sides, but when asked why, they couldn’t give a reason. It kind of hurt that we (the siblings) weren’t allowed to be there, but we moved on. My other siblings felt the same way I did.

The other one of my siblings that got married (m25) had a pretty decent reason to wanting just parents. His spouse has a toxic family that treats her horribly, so she only wanted to invite her parents and one of her siblings originally, but if my brother invited his parents and siblings, we would outnumber her guests quite a bit and he didn’t want her to be upset about it.

She is a very sweet girl and my family adores her. We know they didn’t do it to be petty, but it still sucked that we missed out on another wedding. Here’s my dilemma. I know I’m being petty, but I’m still upset that for a family as close as ours is, the siblings weren’t invited.

So I have honestly been debating eloping in Vegas with my fiancé and having a more expensive honeymoon instead of having an actual wedding ceremony as we originally planned here in our hometown. I have always thought the idea of being married by “Elvis” in Vegas was fun. I know it’s cheesy, but I love it, and my fiancé thinks it would be funny so he’s down for it.

We would pay for our parents to come to Vegas with us and be part of the wedding, but no one else would be invited. I know my siblings would be upset, but I would tell them the truth behind why we decided to elope instead. So, WIBTAH if I eloped because my siblings had parents only weddings?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

notforcommentinohgoo said:

I understand your hurt, but...They seem to have had valid reasons not to invite you but your only reason to exclude them is spite. So yes, YWBTA. But really, come on: if you are as close to them as you claim, why are you not discussing this with them, asking why you were excluded, stating how hurt you are etc.

Additional_Minimum60 said:

YTA . You are planning on kicking everyone out of the wedding because of two siblings? Also you COMPLAIN about not being invited to a wedding that you don't think will last? THAT'S WHY YOU WEREN'T INVITED! You don't have to say it your brother can see it in the way you act... already know you're being petty so I suggest you DO elope and save your siblings from having to pretend to be happy for you...maybe they don't think your marriage will last 5 years.

o0o0h-shiny said:

Really depends, if you're doing this purely out of spite then YWBTA but if you genuinely enjoy the idea of getting married by Elvis and so does your partner, then NTA. More budget for a honeymoon to share with the person you love sounds great! In the end, the day is about you and your partner, so would you regret not sharing the moment with your siblings? I imagine if you tell them the truth they won't respond positively.

TrivialLabour said:

YTA. If you had always wanted to get married in Vegas that would be different, but since the only reason you state that you want to do so is to "get back at" your siblings in some way, YTA. That's petty bs that I wouldn't think someone would want on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your lives.

Who cares what your siblings did at their weddings? If you want your family there (as you claim that you are all very close), then they should be there. You may feel in the moment that you really "got back at them," but you must think of this as what it is-a once-in-a-lifetime event. If you can stomach your choice of petty revenge at two of your siblings by snubbing all of your siblings for the rest of your life, then by all means.

But if you are as close as you say, I feel like you might regret this decision after the initial "rush" wears off. As another redditor suggested, perhaps you should discuss this with your family and siblings. Imagine the hurt the rest of your siblings will feel after missing out on a third wedding, and then see if you still feel proud of yourself for coming up with this form of petty tit-for-tat with your siblings.

You are discussing this revenge on your siblings as occurring on an occasion where you are supposed to welcome a new member into your family. My advice, OP, is to grow tf up.

Kitastrophe8503 said:

What's that saying? Cutting off your nose to spite your face? You get - optimistically - one shot at your wedding. You could make yours the wedding that the family remembers - the one where everyone is invited and celebrates your new life together, and it isn't about keeping score.. Or you could have a funny Vegas wedding that's just a little bit out of... spite.

NAH, but...Make sure that what you get at the end of all this is what you will want to remember for the rest of your life. It won't feel satisfying if you pick petty and then find yourself missing your siblings on your wedding day. It also won't feel great if you decide to have a siblings wedding but you don't get your feelings about their weddings addressed... Plus no Elvis. Whatever you do, first think it through.

Shandrith said:

You know you're being petty, you were hurt by not being invited to your other siblings weddings, and you're mostly considering doing this to get back at them for not inviting you. Yes, YTA. Do you want to not be invited to any other sibling weddings in the future? Because if it were me and you did this I wouldn't invite you to my wedding, even if I invited everyone else.

Artistic_Tough5005 said:

NTA It’s now the tradition to just invite your parents. Why should you stop that lol!

The opinions were fairly divided for this one, but most people weren't on OP's side here. What's your advice for this family wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
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