Bride's wedding is completely ruined by mysterious guest named 'Sarah.' AITA? UPDATED 3X
When this bride feels utterly humiliated at her wedding by a woman named "Sara," she asks the internet:
"My Wedding Was Ruined. AITA?"
I’ve debated about posting this, but I have to rant to someone. Me (23f) and my now husband, Josh (26m) had our wedding last week. at first everything was beautiful, I got married to my high school sweetheart and was so happy. It felt like my fairytale come true, I felt like a princess.
While I’m taking photos with my bridesmaids, I see Josh’s cousin (Nicole) with a girl (I’ll call her Sarah) I’m unfamiliar with. She seems non talkative but is friendly to me at first. We finish our photos and go inside to relax and chat before I walk down the aisle.
A long while later, after the vows were exchanged, I bump into Sarah while on my way to the food table. She’s clearly intoxicated, but through her slurred speaking I could hear her ranting about how crowded the venue was but then it escalates.
I was getting food for my mom when she said to me that she’s surprised Josh married “someone like me” because Josh could do better than me. I tried to laugh it off and I told her I was very lucky to have him.
The interaction left me feeling upset, but I brushed it off as her just being drunk and I started drinking too and soon forgot about it.
Time goes past and I’m feeling good, me and my husband along with all the guests were dancing. Suddenly, I hear a crashing sound near the food table and all of us rush over to see what was happening.
I see Sarah on the ground sobbing hysterically, and Nicole was trying to calm her down. She had completely smashed my wedding cake, and ripped the decorations. My heart was broken to see my wedding cake completely destroyed but I tried to ask what was wrong, and Sarah started screaming and cursing me.
I was confused and drunk so I started shouting back and ordered my husband to kick her out. He didn’t want to and told me she should be allowed to stay since she was a friend. I argued with him and told him that she’s ruined my wedding.
It eventually took my husband and Nicole to get her under control and convince her to go home. Nicole left with Sarah and when my husband came back he looked angry with me.
He completely blew me off for the rest of the night and I could tell the atmosphere was now awkward for all my guests. The next day my husband lectured me about how I hurt Sarah’s feelings and demanded I apologize to her. We argued and he slept on the couch.
Things eventually cooled down, so I tried to talk to him about it the following days, but he shut me down and just told me I was being over dramatic about the situation. I’ve never even seen Sarah until my wedding, I have no clue why she would lash out like that. I’m hurt that my husband doesn’t see my perspective.
Even though she was drunk, she ruined my special day and now I can’t think of the happy memories I have because I can only think of that incident. Sorry for the long read, thanks for listening.
Before we give you OP's two updates, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
xx8 writes:
So you (23) married your Highschool sweetheart (26) which means that you’ve been dating for at least some time between 5 to 8 years depending if you were both in Highschool when you started dating.
And you’ve never even met or heard of this person that is such a good friend to your husband that he stands up for her on his wedding day against his bride?
Who is this woman? How can they be close friends if you’ve never even heard of her? When are they meeting to experience this friendship? How does his cousin know her that they’re close enough that Sarah’s her plus one at your wedding. You clearly didn’t invite her if you didn’t even know her.
And that person was pretty obviously jealous and vengeful. Getting drunk, screaming at the bride, destroying the wedding cake, insulting the bride. Why? Who is she? How does she even know your husband? The only thing she didn’t do was stand up during the vows, object and declare her love for him. But it was close.
And then there’s your dear husband: he let her scream at you and destroy the cake and took her side? And slept on the couch on his wedding night because he was mad on this woman’s behalf? That’s a lot of emotional investment for a person that his wife hasn’t even met in all those years.
There are so many red flags here. You need to talk to your husband about Sarah. And I’d also contact the cousin.
nerdycous writes:
OP, I would go stay with some family. It might not be what you want to hear but your husband and Sarah were definitely in a relationship. She ruined your wedding because he chose to marry you and not her.
The cousin Nicole most likely knows. If you want the truth try talking to Nicole and telling her you want to know about your husbands and Sarah’s relationship and how long it lasted.
The truth always comes out, but it’s better that you get it on your terms rather than be given small bits over the next couple of years. Btw a good husband wouldn’t act that way toward you if he loved you especially on your wedding day. He’s trash.
altoat7 writes:
What a shame she only appeared on the scene now, at the actual wedding, instead of earlier when you'd have been fully informed when you said 'I do'.
Because this woman--a total stranger to you--is such a dear friend of your new husband's that he doesn't mind her insulting you, or wrecking your wedding cake, or making a scene, or basically fg up a magical day that should belong to just the two of you.
No, in fact she's such a dear friend of his (who you have never met) that he will actually be angry with you for feeling upset about her trashy drunken behaviour at your wedding, and insisting that she leave.
OP, this is horrific. You need to find out why this woman is so much more special to your new husband than you are.
I wouldn't normal advise total strangers like this, but literally everybody in the comments here so far is absolutely right. This is annulment material, I'm afraid.
marvel writes:
OP, What are you doing there? Regardless of whether or not Sarah and your new husband are lovers (which they probably are). Sarah belittled you, insulted you and ruined YOUR wedding, and, your husband has the nerve to take her side? I would be at the courthouse, first thing in the morning to get an Annulment.
It's going to sound horrible, but your husband showed you that he doesn't respect you, and that you are not the most important person in his life. If you let him get away with this, he's going to keep her between you two forever, and he's never going to give you your place. Is this how you want to live the rest of your life?
Girl, open your eyes. You are the other one in that relationship. If he behaves like that with you now, it will get worse later.
flatpassage7 writes:
I got more questions than answers at this point…I wonder if they secretly work together or some type of affair is going on but I need some questions answered: As soon as she made those comments about your husband doing better than you, why didnt you have her kicked out then?
Why didnt ANYONE at the wedding other than Josh see the shenanigans going on at this point and throw her ass out? What did/does Nicole have to say about all of this?
Why didn’t you flip your shit on Josh for not having your back from the second she started her shit? Where do you two go from here? I have more questions but let’s start with that for now!!
And now, OP's first update:
Firstly, I’m going to try and make this as short as possible. I know this update isn’t going to be very shocking, but I at least want to explain myself a bit better. I started thinking and taking everyone’s replies into consideration and called Nicole.
I demanded she tell me the truth and she eventually did. You all were right. Sarah and Josh were a thing. Yes, he cheated on me.
For some backstory, me and Josh have known each other since elementary school, we grew up together and started dating freshman year of Highschool. He was my first everything, I’ve never loved someone the way I love him.
I didn’t want to believe Nicole when she confirmed my suspicions. When she told me he cheated on me my heart sank and I haven’t stopped feeling nauseous. I'm completely devastated. Now, how could I be so foolish? How couldn’t I see what was laid out right in front of me? Is this even real?
Well, Sarah went to a different Highschool than me and Josh. Nicole introduced Sarah and Josh (Nicole knew he was taken but she’s never liked me because I’m mixed.) He dated Sarah while he was dating me all through Highschool. When we graduated, he ended things with Sarah.
He wasn't currently cheating on me, but Sarah was still angry that Josh ghosted her, so she took it out on me. Nicole brought her to the wedding, knowing Sarah wanted some type of revenge.
I didn’t want to believe that the love of my life, my whole world, the person I cherish the most could do this to me. He cheated on me for four whole years, and I was completely oblivious.
I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t look at him the same. He’s always been so sweet, so caring of me, so loving. He has no clue that I know, and I’m not sure how to bring it up to him. I wish this wasn’t real.
I wish I could wake up from this terrible nightmare. When I confront him, I’ll update if anything important happens. And for anyone that’s been kind to me thank you so much. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.
OP's second update:
I want to start off by clarifying a few things. People keep asking how was he loving and caring if he did this to you? He brings me flowers every week, he brings me lunch to my work, he cooks for me, he takes me on a fancy date once a month...
he takes care of my mother, he offers to pay for everything, he always tells me how much he loves me and he used to make me feel so safe. I would’ve never married him if I knew he would put me through all this.
I know this “story” is hard to believe but it’s not just a story, this is my life. Also turns out the cheating was actually going on for closer to six years. Yes, she was the only girl he cheated with.
I am upset that Sarah destroyed my marriage, but I know it’s ultimately Josh’s fault. Anyways, Josh gets off of work at 10pm so I stayed up late to talk to him. I made Nicole promise me not to tell him I know, and shockingly she stayed true to her promise.
He came through the door and I called him to sit with me while I was at the kitchen table. I told him I knew everything.
At first, I was shouting and ranting to him but then it turned into me begging him to prove to me that it wasn’t true. Of course, it was true, and after a while he confessed to everything.
Hearing it from him made it all too real. He tried to argue that since it was in Highschool, it shouldn’t affect me that much and that it was a stupid mistake. Yeah, a stupid mistake he let go on for over five years.
I know we were young, but he knew better. He begged me to stay and told me how sorry he was for everything he’s put me through. I told him how much I love him, but I can’t stay with him.
I asked him why he defended her over me and he said he didn’t want to upset her because he knew how “psycho” she can be. I know he still loves her, or at least cares about her because why would he still defend her years later?
I can't just cut him out of my life yet, the house we live in, and my car is all in his name. Not only have I lost my husband, but I’ve lost my whole life. After I made it clear to him I was leaving him, he got angry and we started arguing.
He tried to say at least he wasn’t still cheating, but I don’t care, it still hurts the same. I called my mom and told her everything so she’s letting me stay with her for now.
Since I live in Pennsylvania, I have 60 days to get my marriage annulled, which I plan to do. Josh keeps trying to call me but im not answering it. He showed me what love is but now he’s ruined love for me.
I can't see myself ever dating and trusting someone like this again. Not only was my wedding destroyed, but my whole life is now destroyed. I have no car, no house, he has full access to my bank account and I’m sure he’ll fight to keep the dogs.
If anyone wants an update on when I go to get my stuff, I’ll give one. None of his family apart from Nicole know he cheated or anything about what’s going on. I loved his parents, and they loved me too.
His dad took me in after I lost mine. As for Nicole and Sarah, they’ve tried to contact me, but I haven’t replied. Please let me be clear when I say that when you’re so blindly in love, you never consider the one person you love and trust the most in this world to be cheating on you.
My lawyer said he has to give me everything I paid for, and I should get my bank information changed as soon as possible. My lawyer also said getting my marriage annulled would be the best option.
If I can prove my car has been paid by me then he has to give it to me. But right now, there’s nothing I can do about my car or house since it’s all legally in his name. My lawyer is fighting for me tho. I’m praying that Josh will give me the dog.
Lastly, thank you again to anyone who’s been kind to me throughout this. I hate reading comments because most are negative and it keeps me thinking about this whole situation.
I appreciate any of you who’ve supported me and gave me advice more than you know. It’s really helped me through this disaster and without you guys talking some sense into me, I think I would’ve just stayed with him.
Now I know that he isn’t the man I thought I married, and I don’t want him to be the father of my children anymore. I’m not sure if I’ll update again, I might if something interesting happens. Goodbye for now.
Update 3:
Sorry for the inactivity, I haven’t been feeling too well but I’m a bit better now. I’m glad some of you wanted an update because I have one to tell. At first Josh tried to keep my things, in an effort to persuade me to get back with him. He stopped that after a day or two tho.
The great news is I got my car and my ex husband gave me my dog without me having to take him to court (i could’ve gotten it anyway but him just giving it over made things a lot easier on me.) My bank information is changed, and he didn’t try to take any of my money.
I’ve still lost my home but there’s nothing I can do about that at the moment. My lawyer has worked so hard for me and I’m so grateful to him. I had a calmer conversation with my ex when I was over to get my stuff, and I’ve gotten a bit of closure.
We talked about all our memories and had kind of our final conversation. He apologized for everything, said he understood why I was leaving him, and told me if I wanted him to leave me alone, he would.
My marriage was annulled, but I’m kinda devastated that it’s like it never happened now. The reason why Sarah and Nicole were calling me is because they tried to tell me I’m “ruining his reputation” and being a drama queen about something that happened years ago.
I’ve blocked both of them now. Every time someone asks about why our marriage was annulled, I tell them the truth and that’s upsetting him. He doesn’t like that his family and coworkers know about how much of a prick he is.
I wasn’t going to tell his family because I don’t think that’s my place, but they know now anyway. His parents caught wind of what happened and called me to apologize and check up on me. They were like my second parents, I'm forever grateful to them for taking me in as their own. I’m truly going to miss having them as my in laws.
I’m living with my mom as of now, but I’m looking for cheap apartments nearby. I’ve never lived by myself so I’m pretty scared of it. To my knowledge, my ex and Sarah didn’t get back in contact and from the looks of things don’t plan to in the future.
To those asking why my things were in his name, I obviously didn’t think it’d end like this. I trusted him with my life, and he made a lot more money than I did, it was better to let him handle the finances.
Thankfully he hasn’t screwed me over by following through with his threats to keep my car and stuff. I know I’m only 23, I know I have a lot of life left in me but it’s not feeling like that right now.
I'm still in shock about everything and definitely in denial. I know I’ll be okay eventually, but this has screwed my whole perspective of love up. My life has taken a full turn from what should’ve been the happiest moment of my life.
'I’m bitter, I think about what if I would’ve done something different, maybe then he wouldn’t have done all this, and I keep making excuses for him. In some type of way...
I’m glad I know who he truly is now, it sickens me to know that I almost had kids with him, and he would’ve let me go through my whole life keeping his cheating past a secret from me.
I don’t know how men like this can sleep peacefully at night after completely ruining people's lives. It’s shocking how many of you have went through something similar. I’m so sorry to those who’ve been through a heartache like this.
It’s made me laugh about how you guys are trying to create revenge plans for me, I really appreciate it but I’m going to let everything rest. Mostly because it would hurt me more if I did take revenge.
People have let me know his nice gestures were the bare minimum, but I’ve never seen anyone do things like that. My mother and father were divorced, so I’ve never seen love displayed like that.
I thought it was something that only happened in hallmark films. Thank you all for your kind messages and comments. I read all of them and it’s helped me throughout all this. I hope you guys have an amazing day, thanks for everything.