Bride asks wedding guests to clean up at the end of the night. AITA?

"AITA for asking my wedding guests to help clean up at the end of the night?"

I (F, 35) got married a few years ago and this still causes arguments in my family, so I want some outside opinions. We had a very low-budget wedding. We rented a hall, hired a small catering service for the food, and I personally decorated and set up the entire venue myself. We had around 60 guests and tried to stay under ~$10,000, which was already difficult.

Because of the budget, we did not hire a cleaning service. The plan was that my husband and I would finish cleaning the next day. At the end of the wedding, when it was already getting late and people were slowly leaving, I asked our remaining guests if they would be willing to help us tidy up a bit so the next day wouldn’t be as stressful for us. I didn’t demand anything — I just asked.

Most people were completely fine with it and helped for a short time (stacking chairs, picking up trash, simple things). No one complained in the moment. However, my sister was very upset about this and still brings it up years later. She says it was inappropriate to ask guests to help clean up at a wedding, that it was “tacky,” and that my wedding in general was kind of a disaster because of things like this.

From my perspective, it was a low-budget, DIY wedding, everyone knew we didn’t have a lot of money, and I only asked politely at the very end when the party was already winding down. So now I’m wondering: AITA for asking my wedding guests to help clean up?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

morbid_n_creepifying said:

YTA. I've helped with loads of friends weddings. It's very common where I live to keep it low budget and source the things needed within our friend group. My partner provides speakers and a microphone setup, I provide flowers, another friend provides the cake, we do pot luck style, etc. and it's lovely. We all help set up. We all help tear down.

HOWEVER. The post-wedding cleanup is always, ALWAYS, decided in advance. If it needs to happen before we leave the venue for the night, or if we're all meeting up at a set time the next day. We pace ourselves accordingly. I would be pissed if at the end of the night when I'm already exhausted, I was asked to help clear up.

Like yeah I could say no but saying no to the bride? On her wedding day? When she's gonna be slaving away after her guests enjoy themselves? Who the f would say no to that, so they could feel like crap about it?

If you couldn't afford to hire a cleaner and intended to do it yourself, you should have. If you wanted the help of your friends and family, that is absolutely acceptable but necessitates pre-arranging it.

Some of our best memories from weddings are from the cleanup. You're kicking off your shoes, taking out your hair, having a few drinks or puffs and reflecting on the chaos of the day. But not last minute, and not out of guilt.

Squinky75 said:

YTA. You don't ask guests to clean. Period.

cindyb0202 said:

Yes, YTA. They are guests not hired help. You are being cheap.

EatsTheLastSlice said:

That was rude to spring on people. You should have talked to family members before the wedding and asked for help. YTA.

frolicndetour said:

YTA. You chose to have a low budget wedding and that's not your guests' problem.

claudial12 said:

You asked your guests to clean up after the fact? Yeah, YTA.

Well-Done22 said:

YTA. Low budget doesn’t have to mean low class. But when you ask your guests to clean up the party you’re hosting, low class is what it became. Yes, they may have seemed fine helping you. But make no mistake, your hosting faux pas was discussed once they were gone.

Lopsided_Tomatillo27 said:

YTA. You shouldn’t put your guests to work. Your sister is right, it’s tacky. And just because they were polite enough to help doesn’t mean they were happy about it.