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Bridesmaid is honest about the 'awful' dresses, 'I threw the other MOH under the bus.' AITA?

Bridesmaid is honest about the 'awful' dresses, 'I threw the other MOH under the bus.' AITA?


"AITA for telling the bride the bridesmaids dresses are awful?"

I (25F) am 1 of 2 MOH’s for my best friends wedding in August of 2024. The bride and I have been friends for 20 years now, and she was my MOH 2 years ago. A couple of weeks ago she decided our dresses would be ordered online from a website called Birdy Grey. The bridal party had already agreed that $100-150 for the dress budget was good.

So she sent the link to the dress and we all bought it ($140 after shipping and tax). I was the first to receive and try on the dress. It was bad… the fabric was very cheap, the color looked white in person (champagne was the goal), the measurements were off, the leg slit was cut wrong and instead was a crotch slit, and after looking on other websites outside Birdy Grey, I was finding horrible reviews as well.

I was slightly worried to tell the Bride so I reach out to the other MOH. She agreed with about 80% of the concerns. We discussed she would go to the bride's house and show her in person that way she knew we weren’t just “throwing a fit” or anything (I live 6 hrs away so I couldn’t just drive over to show the bride). To even strengthen our concerns, I go to my local seamstress and ask if the dress could be tailored and dry cleaned. The seamstress HEAVILY recommended not to since the fabric was such poor quality and could fall apart or melt.

I then gathered up the strength to call the bride. I relay all the info with videos/images of the dress and tell her all the concerns the MOH and I had. End call. I go to bed in the afternoon (I work nights) and wake up to texts saying “I’m sorry you don’t like the color of the dress but I’ve decided we will be keeping it! You can select a different dress and exchange it from the same website.”

In my mind I’m like dude I don’t care if you want us wearing green or zebra, the dress is tissue paper and cheaply made for what we paid and the color is wrong. I then see the other MOH in the group chat posting how much she loves the dress suddenly and chatting with the other bridesmaids with the bride in chat.

I asked the bride if the other MOH made it over to her house to show her the dress in person? She said “I wasn’t able to meet with her today, she said she was busy suddenly…” At this point I’m not sure how else to tell her without mailing it to her and showing her physically how bad it is.

I have offered many solutions, and even said I will drive 12 hrs round trip and help her shop and decide. I feel ganged up on and played by the other MOH now after what she did, and feel as if she’s painting me in a bad light, when I know the bride would personally hate the dress (mainly cause it’s white!) if she saw it in person. But getting conflicting information idk what she’s thinking now.

So I basically threw the other MOH under the bus. I screenshotted her texts to me contradicting everything she said to me and sent it to the bride. She’s my best friend, I don’t wanna walk out on her wedding day, and I don’t want the focus to be off her because our dresses are so disastrous looking and the color white. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BeeJackson said:

NTA - Tell her that you were letting her know as a courtesy because you are pretty sure the dresses wouldn’t be up to her standards if she saw them in person, but that you’ll let the issue go and find a dress in that champagne color. Then return the dress and find a suitable, true champagne dress from another store. It’s no longer your problem. When the sh’t hits the fan she won’t be able to say you didn’t warn her.

ScaryButterscotch474 said:

NTA That other MOH played you all and you set it right.

Acceptable_Bunch_586 said:

NTA, get on a video call and explain, model the dress/ bag explain you aren’t arsed but think she’ll hate the dresses, put it on and show her. If it’s as bad as you say it’ll be obvious.

Bumble-Bee-Liz30 said:

NTA...You said your peace...wear the dress and let the chips fall where they may.

ouzosgodmother said:

NTA- yet. The other MOH has shown you that she’s two faced. The only reason you’d become TA is if you continue to escalate the drama between the two of you. She 10000% started it, but unfortunately in this situation you just need to let it go. No more screenshots, just bite your tongue. You don’t want bridal party drama to add stress to your friend’s big day. This girl is clearly important enough to your friend to have her as a co-MOH, so don’t try to throw her under the bus again (even if she deserves it).

I’m in a bridal party now with two bridesmaids that don’t get along. It’s making the bride sad, and is really adding a lot of unnecessary stress that they can’t just grin and bear it for a couple of events. Know in your heart that you’re the better friend (and MOH), but don’t try to prove it to the bride by doing anything other than being supportive and helping her solve this dress disaster! Kill ‘em with kindness.

Malibu921 said:

NTA. Listen, it's one thing to try to get bridesmaid dresses on the cheap. It's another to let your bridesmaids wear something that looks like it's going to fall apart - and probably will.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this bridal party?

Sources: Reddit
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