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Bridesmaid leaves cousin's wedding after family is denied access over 'dress code.' AITA?

Bridesmaid leaves cousin's wedding after family is denied access over 'dress code.' AITA?


"AITA for leaving my cousin's wedding even though I was a bridesmaid?"

It was my cousin's wedding and I was one of the bridesmaid. Everything was going good at the church and it was time for the reception. For a little background we are a Mexican ranchero family, the wedding was formal attire.

As I arrived to the reception I noticed my family wasn’t getting let in. I know that the reception was by invitation only and I had their invitation in hand so I assumed that was the problem. As I was waiting to be let in I was informed that my family wasn’t allowed in because of their attire.

My uncle's were wearing very expensive boots, black pant slacks, and a nice button up shirt. For context the bride had sent a group message to all family saying what attire was not allowed and my family followed the guideline. It said no hats/sombreros, jeans, sandals, and T-shirts.

So I was confused when they told me that they weren’t allowed in due to them wearing boots. I told them that we were never informed that they weren’t allowed boots. To my surprise there was another groupchat with my immediate family not included stating that boots were not allowed.

The bride then said we can go to Walmart to get some cheap dress shoes instead. Now I wasn’t too mad about that until I noticed that there was already people inside the venue who had boots on and hats which were against the attire but they weren’t told anything.

And when I mentioned this the groom acted like he couldn’t see them even though they were right in-front of them. So instead of causing conflict we decided to leave, when I went to go say my goodbyes all of a sudden the bride said that it was okay and we could stay. At that point it was embarrassing not being let into the venue and we declined and left.

Later we were told that family was asking where we went and the bride's family had told everyone that we went to the store and would be right back. I also want to point out that the invitation system was wack. One of the bridesmaid didn’t have an invitation because the bride forgot to give it to her.

And even though she was wearing the same dress as the other bridesmaid and all the bridesmaid were saying that she was included they wouldn’t let her in. So am I the ahole for leaving with my family and not staying to finish the bridesmaid duties?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Hadtosignuptofothis said:

NTA, what kind of wedding is this. Dress coding family. WTH, of course you left. She and her husband were incredibly rude to your family. I don’t even know what to say to this but boots are way more formal than Walmart shoes…her entire reasoning is incredibly bizarre. Also what’s with the husband? Were they his family or something.

FuzzyMom2005 said:

NTA. There was definitely something weird going on. Boots? Really? I would have left too.

Super_Reading2048 said:

NTA though I would clear up why you left and no you did not go to the store with your extended family the day or week after the wedding. No bias, just facts. Maybe I’m petty.

DiTrastevere said:

NTA. What a mess. The bridal couple really screwed up badly here. I’d be surprised if their relationships with your family are the only ones they damaged at this wedding.

Tazilyna-Taxaro said:

You can have a dress code but to enforce it on a family event is not classy. Class is to ignore it if someone doesn't really get it. By your description, it seems like they COULD ignore it but didn't WANT to. NTA.

Mystralchan said:

Horrible behavior. I'd set the record straight if anyone asks why you werenl and fam weren't there. Don't let them lie to save face. NTA.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this bridesmaid?

Sources: Reddit
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