Bridesmaid refuses to spend $130 on bouquet, 'she removed me.' AITA? UPDATED

"AITA for refusing to spend $130 on a bridesmaid bouquet when I’m the bridesmaid?"

I was a part of one of my close friends bridal parties, she’s always struggled financially a little bit and now she’s getting married…she asked if us bridesmaids could pay for the dresses, we said yes.

Then she asked if we could pay for our own bouquets. I said of course to help her out, later to find out that the bouquets were going to be more expensive than the dress at $130 each! She chose the most expensive bouquets and I’ve offered to even make all of them myself but she’s refused, because "these are the ones she wants."

I’m the youngest bridesmaid, only in my early 20s, some of the other girls were not too happy about it but I was the only one who said something to the bride. I was polite and just tried to let her know that I have other financial commitments.

Spending $130 on flowers that will be thrown away after the wedding seems a little steep. She’s now removed me as a bridesmaid, I’m not sure what to do, AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

MrsNobodyspecial67 said:

NTA. If she couldn't afford the flowers how can she expect you too? Just go with the flow, I know she was/is your friend and she will either figure it out or she won't. Brides anymore want more than they can afford and are now expecting bridesmaids to pick up the costs of all the incidentals...

Such as flowers, bachelorette parties, 3 day weekend trips, jewelry...it gets crazy. If she doesn't ask you back then be thankful you don't have to deal with it, you will probably find the next bridesmaid has a worse time than you have had. If she asks you back your choice but tell her you can't afford the flowers.

AffectionateYoung300 said:

NTA. Wear your bridesmaid dress, if you’ve already purchased it, and attend as a guest.

maj0rdisappointment said:

NTA, she should be having a wedding that is within her means. Sounds like she wants the ceremony more than the marriage. Make sure you ask for a refund for whatever you paid towards the dress, since it was her choice to remove you.

calling_water said:

NTA. As for what to do now? Realize that your friend is showing her true colors: she’s having difficulty with her own finances but is treating your support as a blank cheque. You’d think she’d understand that you don’t have much money either, but no.

Final-Context6625 said:

NTA. It's customers for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dress. The grooms family is supposed to pay for the flowers for the bridal party. I’m sure it doesn’t always happen but to make you pay $130 extra isn’t nice or necessary.

I would have said something as well and it was nice you offered to make it. The fact that she isn’t wealthy but expects this makes it worse. I understand it’s hurtful but she did you a favor removing you. She needs to grow up and get over herself.

WhoKnewHomesteading said:

NTA. Return the dress and move on. You have learned what kind of person she really is and are better of without the drama.

UPDATE:

Thanks to everyone for clarifying what I was doubting myself for! And also, for everyone saying to go as a guest, the bride said to me that I could attend the “after party” if I wanted to. I have been uninvited from the whole wedding…