Bridesmaid gets in trouble with bride for wearing 'inappropriate' jewelry. AITA?
"AITA for wearing my jewelry to my friend's wedding?"
Alright so I, F23, was invited to one of my friend's weddings as a bridesmaid. We've been friends for quite some time and so I kinda figured that she'd want me as a bridesmaid in her wedding.
Well everything went well for dress selection and all of that stuff and she didn't really state anything that was against us wearing any jewelry or anything with our dresses to the wedding ceremony or the reception afterwards.
Well come the day of the wedding I had opted to go for a pair of earrings that I had made that were beaded along with a necklace. They weren't, at least in my opinion to big or flashy and they represent who I am.
Well during the ceremony everything seemed to go fine but during the reception afterwards I got confronted by the brides sister who was also the MOH. She said that my jewelry was inappropriate for a wedding and too flashy. She said that it was coming from both her and the bride.
I told her that I didn't believe that they were flashy or inappropriate at all and they complimented my dress. I also said that if the bride felt that way then she could let me know herself since I didn't believe it was coming from her.
I ended up wearing the jewelry throughout the rest of the reception with some people asking about my jewelry being purely curious about it. But I wanted to know if I am the AH in this scenario? Here is a link to the pics of the earrings and how big they are:
Edit: Okay let's clear some things up since people seem confused the bride stated they liked my earrings well before this went down. Hence why I didn't think when the MOH came up to me she was representing the bride. There was no jewelry stipulations for bridesmaids and they went with my dress I was wearing.
Edit II: I do make my own jewelry but wearing it wasn't for advertising, the fact of the matter is a lot of indigenous people make jewelry. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought:
foreignsob writes:
Soft YTA unless beaded jewelry is an integral part of your cultural heritage. You could have asked about jewelry instead of choosing bright and casual earrings.
The bride shouldn't have to interrupt her day to confront you about your choice to wear statement jewelry. Your job was to represent your friend as a bridesmaid, not to represent yourself. It's not that hard to put earrings in your purse after a message has been passed along to you.
crimw writes:
NTA. Yeah it never even dawned on me someone would “outshine” me at my wedding & idc even if they did. I just told my bridesmaids to find whatever sort of dress, or outfit, they wanted to wear that was any color/ shade of green they liked & any sort of shoes they wanted to wear that felt both comfortable & hot/ se%y. I wanted my bm’s to look & and feel absolutely gorgeous.
Our younger sister was living w us at the time & helped me do all the wedding things so we picked her dress & shoes out together. I loved her dress as much as I loved mine & it was cute af & she looked amazing in it plus we got her some killer shoes.
She also did an unrehearsed kinda ride’em cowboy little gallop to her MOH spot once she made it down the aisle, which was true to her vibe. The only thing that upset me about it was I didn’t get to see it myself lol.
Our older sister wore like a seafoam color dress & I remember someone trying to instigate me over their belief it wasn’t green & was intentional to attract attention. I brushed them off bc I did not care & if that’s what she felt comfy & beautiful in, then great!
Once I got my pics back someone said one of my BM’s dress & shoes were too sexy & she shouldn’t have been kinda in the center of one of the pics, that she was just trying to steal the spotlight. Again I did not care & she wasn’t trying to steal anything - she was just following my directive - look and feel hot af bc they all are hot af.
Tbh I wanted my bridesmaids, and groomsmen, to “steal” as much spotlight as possible bc too much attention on me makes me very uncomfortable. I also wanted everyone in attendance to feel gorgeous/ hot af. It was, & still is, baffling to me that brides don’t want their wedding party & guests to feel & look great.
finaaf writes:
Soft YTA unless beaded jewelry is an integral part of your cultural heritage. You could have asked about jewelry instead of choosing bright and casual earrings.
The bride shouldn't have to interrupt her day to confront you about your choice to wear statement jewelry. Your job was to represent your friend as a bridesmaid, not to represent yourself. It's not that hard to put earrings in your purse after a message has been passed along to you.
spriiteee writes:
NTA. Too many brides are bridezillas. At my wedding I was happy for everyone to wear what they felt comfortable in within the dress code, including my bridesmaid. If the bride didn't want the bridesmaids wearing jewellery then she should have said so, or given guidelines about the type of jewellery that would be ok.
From the comments it also sounds like these beaded earrings were part of OP's culture, making them important to her. If the friend can't respect OP's culture, I'd be considering putting some distance in that friendship.
aghhh writes:
ESH. The MOH was being a b, whether or not she was speaking on the bride’s behalf.
But don’t bridesmaids typically coordinate everything beforehand, including jewelry, hair, makeup, etc?
You probably should have run your jewelry choices by the bride in advance. There should be no surprises, even minor ones like this, on the wedding day.