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'Bridezilla' refuses to allow brother to bring 'random' +1 from dating app to wedding. AITA?

'Bridezilla' refuses to allow brother to bring 'random' +1 from dating app to wedding. AITA?


"AITA for not allowing my brother to bring a random Grindr hook up as his +1 at my wedding?"

I (27F) am gonna get married to my fiance (29M) in July. Initially I invited both my brother (23M) and his long term girlfriend of 3 years to our wedding, however my brother broke up with her last month and a couple of days ago he requested me to let him bring another 1+ to my wedding in order to replace his ex that wasn't coming anymore.

I asked him who he was planning to bring and he said that he wanted to bring a guy he met recenly on Grindr with whom he got along great. I told him that I don't want him to bring a random hook up to my wedding cause we're planning for a rather small ceremony with only our families and close friends.

The reason I invited my brother's ex was cause she was a long term girlfriend, which obviously isn't the case with this hook up. However my brother twisted the truth and started accusing us of being bigoted for previously allowing him to bring a woman as his plus 1 but not a man...

He even contacted some of my and my fiance's friends to stir up drama and turn them against us. While some of them believed us, we've also had a couple of friends saying they're gonna drop out from our wedding cause of what my brother told them, not to mention that now he started stirring up drama with my family as well.

AITA? I feel like I was reasonable in a valuing a long term girlfriend and a random hook from Grindr differently, especially when I still wouldn't have allowed my brother to bring a hook up to my wedding even if it was a woman instead, however I'm getting tired of getting called a hateful bridezilla over this decision? AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Unofreu said:

NTA. It's your wedding, you decide who has the privilege to attend. It's a small ceremony, the then-girlfriend was considered part of the family, but this random new person is not; the end.

Are people dropping out of the wedding over a lie your brother is spreading around? Then they're probably not essential guests at the wedding. Make sure you talk with your brother and tell him the logic behind your decision of not inviting his +1. Communication is key.

Slayerofdrums said:

NTA. Your brother does not have the right to bring 'whomever' to your wedding. This day is about you, and you decide who he can bring. Obviously, you'd just want people close to you there. If other friends don't want to come because they believe your brother, without checking with you, then clearly they do not know you very well, and I would wonder why they would even be in your wedding party?

If you had a problem with LGBTQ+ people, why would they have been invited in the first place? Don't fall for the drama, if he keeps creating a problem, I'd just uninvited him as well. Who needs that kind of energy on their wedding day?

Dogmother123 said:

Solve the problem by telling him he isn't invited. NTA.

terpischore761 said:

NTA. Copy paste over and over. “Of course I’m not inviting a random hookup to our small family wedding. X won’t die because he’s not in their presence for 1 day. “ Ignore the bigoted part, it’s a red herring to take your focus off the real issue. If Bro wants to pout, that’s not an issue you need to solve.

No_Pepper_3676 said:

Sorry, but YTA. You invited your brother and a +1. It should have been up to your brother who that +1 was. Apologize to your brother and let him know you love and respect him and that you were wrong to be upset over who he was bringing. It isn't that big of a deal to blow up your family and friend circle over, is it?

Gloomy_Tie_1997 said:

NTA I made a similar ask at my wedding to my bestie who I’ve known since 1st grade. We ended up compromising with him coming towards the end of the reception, because by then most of the photos were done being taken and it was full party mode.

(We didn’t do a send off.) She wasn’t super pleased at the time but that was 12 years ago and I don’t regret not having a rando in my wedding photos and memories.

Stlhockeygrl said:

ESH - him for asking a question he wasn't willing to accept the answer of. You for not giving a single person a plus one after they just got out of a longterm relationship and are probably feeling really raw and lonely.

While the opinions were slightly divided for this one, most people were on OP's side. What's your advice for this wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
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