'Bridezilla' refuses to let MOH choose her dress color, 'getting married wasn't important to her.' AITA?
"AITA for not letting my maid of honor choose her dress?"
I'm (32f) getting married in August. My best friend Crissy (fake name, 30f) agreed to be my maid of honor and seemed really excited for me. I told her I wanted my colors to be dark green and and pale pink and she agreed it was a really pretty combination.
So when we were dress shopping she kept picking out green dresses. I told her I wanted her to wear pink instead. She was disappointed and said she doesn't like pink and would probably not buy a dress from the store we were at if it wasn't in a color she liked (because the boutique was pricey).
I can understand that so I just asked that she find an appropriate dress in the specific shade of pink I like. Since then she has been sending me links to dresses that are NOT close to the color at all and green ones with pink floral. She made a comment about how when I was her maid of honor a few years ago, she let me buy a dress I've worn multiple times since.
This pissed me off because her colors were navy and silver, so of course the blue dress she wanted me to buy is more versatile. But it's my turn now and I think the dress is a standard part of the maid of honor role. It's making me think she's not going to be a good maid of honor to me.
I mentioned this to my sister and she said I was being a bridezilla. She reminded me that Crissy was a really relaxed bride and that we obviously have different expectations about wedding roles and need to talk it out. I know she's probably right, but I'm upset that she thinks I'm being a bridezilla.
Crissy's wedding was a lot different than what I would have picked for myself- it was really casual and had a lot of cutesy, homemade elements. My style is more elegant and classy and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
When I first started talking to Crissy about my wedding plans, she kept reminding me that it's one day and just a party and stuff like that. But I have dreamed about this day since I was little. I feel like Crissy doesn't understand how important it is to me that my day is picture perfect because she admitted getting married wasn't ever really important to her.
My fiancé says he understands why I'm upset, my sister says I suck, and Crissy hasn't texted me back since I shot down the last few dresses she sent me. So AITA?
EDIT:
Edit 2: fine I will ask if she wants me to help pay for the dress. I still don't think I'm the ahole
Edit: I want to make it clear that Crissy is my best friend, we've known each other for almost 10 years. I'm not kicking her out of the role or asking her to step down. We're not fighting about this, she's very supportive about everything else except this one thing. I just wanted to know if I was being unreasonable expecting her to wear what I want
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
PoetRevolutionary160 said:
YTA. If you want her in a pink dress from a pricey boutique, you pay for it. I don't understand this tradition that a bridal party should pay for their own outfits anyway.
princess_banana_ said:
YTA. Pull your head in. If you want to dictate what someone wears you cough up the cash. End of. And Pearl pink does not automatically equal elegant. Newsflash different colors work/don’t work on different skin tones.
Purplefox71 said:
So basically you want her to purchase a dress that she never ever would wear again? Usually pink dresses are not as desirable beyond the age of 12. Perhaps you should pay for the dress if you are so much into it. YTA.
bajlajs said:
So essentially "I want you to wear a different color of a dress and I don't care if you will feel worse in it, I just want to feel good." ofc YTA, however it's your wedding so you can do whetever the hell you want.
Troytegan said:
Yta. If you’re going to insist it be a dress she’s never gonna be able to wear again, you need to pay for it.
Medical_Insurance_39 said:
YTA automatically for basically saying her “cutesy homemade” wedding wasn’t classy like yours is going to be. I’m not sure you understand what “class” actually means, which is unsurprising considering you clearly don’t have any.
You’re trying to force your good friend to wear something she’s not going to feel comfortable in and she gets to foot the bill to boot? You should want your bridal party to feel their best on such a special day which means taking their feelings into account, especially when your other color option is something she was happy to accommodate!