Bridezilla RUINS own ceremony; threatens bridesmaids, 'You're still paying for the wedding.' AITA? 2 BIG UPDATES
When one of the bridesmaids at the worst wedding ever decides to tell her story, she asks the internet:
"A Bridezilla ruined her own wedding. Then she threatened all of us. AITA?"
So, my friend Dana (F29) was supposed to be getting married this past Sunday 1/14. The wedding got cancelled and things had gotten very crazy.
Dana was getting married to Josh (M32). She's still in college with me and asked a few friends from college, myself included, to be her bridal party. Now, from the start, this wedding has been a disaster. I'm going to just point out a few of the crazy stuff we dealt with:
She refused to invite my best friend, who she's supposedly good friends with, because she thinks we're lesbian lovers. We're not.
She had us go to the dress fitting and then demanded each of us pay $2000 each for our dresses. Apparently she had a specific style she wanted. I can afford it, but I won't buy a 2k dress for one event. Some of the girls in the bridal party don't have that flexibility with money.
Apparently Josh couldn't invite any single females that were not blood relatives of him. So if he had any female friends, they were axed.
One of the girls in the bridal party doesn't drink because of her religion. Dana accused her of being pregnant in front of her parents and almost got her kicked out of her house. She was not pregnant and she dropped from the bridal party.
She was a class act, though, and never bad talked Dana. Just said she couldn't make it. We found out about it pretty much on the day of the wedding.
She tried to make us cancel our holidays with our families to instead go with her to a destination bachelorette party. I work full time even during holidays, so I told her that was not happening. More of the bridesmaids said similar things and she dropped it.
That's just 5 things of countless drama this wedding was having before the day. Now the meat of the story comes on the wedding day. The day started horrible. Dana was having a meltdown because apparently the flower girl had to cancel because she has -chickenpox-.
She was threatening to sue the mother unless she brought this sick three years old to the wedding. Josh apparently was able to calm her down from this starter outburst and we began preparations.
The whole day she had constant outbursts. She made people cry. Like, wedding staff and bridesmaids. The MoH deserves a medal for the amount of diplomacy and bullshit control she had to do.
I for the most part took the easy route and decided to work outside the bridal suit like checking flowers, making sure food was okay. Basically any excuse NOT to be around bride.
Eventually I had my make up and hair done, then the bride asked for a little bit of time alone to 'decompress' from the stress. We didn't even fight it, you could not see a group of women run faster away.
Wedding was starting in thirty minutes, so we figure she would be fine alone for that little. I spent those thirty minutes just sitting in the chapel with my phone. It had to be about five minutes before the start of the wedding when MoH came over to tell me the wedding was cancelled. I asked her what happened.
MoH: "Dana was having a 'quickie' with Josh's uncle in the room. Josh caught them." I just stared at the MoH with my mouth pretty much about to reach the floor. She told me to run and that she was trying to get as many people out before things exploded.
So I quickly got my purse, gathered the two bridesmaid that were carpooling with me, and we left like the devil was after us. I checked with the other bridesmaid and all had escaped.
That night I called the MoH to check what happened and the tea was bad. Apparently and rightfully, Josh called off the wedding, called her a few names, told off his uncle, and has since left with his mates to I hope have the biggest single man party ever. I feel so bad for him. He's an absolute gem of a man.
He apparently also told Dana and her parents that she will be paying the cancellation fees. According to MoH, Dana's father told her in front of everyone that she was paying it on her own for being a sl*t.
I thought that was the end of it. I made the choice to separate myself from this mess. Until I got a call from Dana, not even hour ago, demanding $5,000 to help pay her cancellation fees. According to Dana, it was our duty as the bridal party to pay her cancellation fees.
I obviously told her no and that she might as well lose my number. I am never speaking to this woman again. This has been pretty much the reaction of all bridesmaids and the MoH. By the way, MoH? Josh's older sister.
Before we give you OP's two big updates, let's take a look at some of the top responses:
ahah%$ writes:
What a circus! I feel terrible for Dana's father. The embarrassment in front of all the guests when this should have been a special day for him to walk his daughter down the aisle. And unfortunately for him, people do talk and gossip.
I can also imagine that he would be so ashamed and angry of his daughter's behavior. Glad that he subscribes to the "you made your bed, you lie in it" philosophy. I would be disowned by my family (immediate and extended) if I pulled this shit.
chronique writes:
Gonna be the Devil's Advocate here for a bit: Obviously Dana made some terrible choices, but it sounds like there's a chance she could be a victim? If the uncle has been around her since she was a minor, he could have been grooming her this whole time? Or just straight up abusing her?
Like, just maybe the stress of having to deal with that was causing her to spiral and lash out as the wedding drew nearer? Or that she knew she would have to face him again at the wedding?
Just saying, trying to get in "one last time before the wedding" sounds like the kind of thing a predator would demand.
In any case, whether any of that speculation is close to being right or not, the uncle is certainly a piece of work for what he pulled on the wedding day alone.
beauaitusl7 writes:
Poor Josh! BUT if I was him, traumatization and crappy relatives aside (his uncle?!) I would be prostrate in prayers of thanks that I didn't actually marry this woman! The trash took itself out.
Sending healing vibes and positive energy Josh's way, and someone suggest counseling to him as gently...and as soon... as possible. That has got to be one huge mind-you-know-what to process. I can't even.....
OP's first update (6 days later):
Hey guys! I know a lot of people want to know what happened. After talking to Josh yesterday, he asked me to only say that he's okay, figuring things out, and moving on. We're going to stay friends with him and his sister.
Dana was told that no one in the group wants to interact with her and since then its been mostly radio silence.
I can't share more about Josh's future plans, as he asked me not to. He did have a good laugh at some of the comments I show him and appreciates the support.
The one detail I did get corrected on for those curious was about his uncle. He's the younger brother of Josh's mother and he's 55 years old. I thought he was married into the family, but I got that detail wrong.
I also found out the most disgusting detail is the uncle knew Dana since she was a teenager. Dana and Josh are high school sweethearts. So, yeah, I kinda feel gross knowing that.
Other than that, I got a major haul of cake. So at least I got something good out of this mess.
And now, OP's second update, a few months later:
So! I finally got permission from Josh to update on the situation today 4/10/2024. Going to start by saying he's doing much better. He's moved out to a new place away from Dana and has some of his mates as roommates.
He also cut contact with his uncle, as did most of his family. He's put a pause on dating for some time considering Dana was his first and only girlfriend for years. So he needs time to heal.
Dana has now become persona non grata with my friends. She even tried to move in with one of them, without telling her, by appearing at 10pm at night and saying 'you can't send me away this late at night!'. Didn't work. Dunno where she's living, but I can say for sure she's absolutely without any doubt very much screwed.
She has 4 lawsuits. One from Josh for obvious reasons, one from his sister for the dresses she bought, one from the bridesmaid she accused of being pregnant and one from Josh's uncle since apparently Dana used his credit card (she apparently moved with him after the failed wedding).
So yeah, she threw away her life and she's very much without support. I saw Dana's parents some days ago and they haven't had any contact with her since the wedding. They are actually moving with their other daughter (22) to another state.
As for Josh's sister, we've been hanging out for a while. She actually become super tight with my friends and I. We're even planning a trip sometime next year with her and her 7 years old to Disney. And yes, we've all agree to divide the babysitting. We offered, she didn't press us to do so.
Readers continued to weigh in on OP's updates:
fodder3 writes:
Onto the post itself. I always wonder, what are these people’s long term plan? Was she going to just carry on banging Uncle McDouchePants throughout her marriage? Was this a “one last time” kind of bang?
I mean it was kind of inevitable that they’d get caught eventually. If not now, it surely would have happened at Grandma’s 80th birthday party, in Aunt Sue’s guest bedroom right?
I do feel a little bit of sadness that there may have been some grooming involved here. Dana might actually be a victim depending how long things were going on for, when they started, etc..
I’m kind of assuming they started sleeping together shortly after her 18th birthday. But then again, Reddit and all the grooming stories have scarred me for life.
Regardless, that doesn’t excuse or explain Dana’s behavior throughout this whole thing. She is on a whole other level of entitled. Her comeuppance was well over due.
Lastly, I give mad props to Josh’s sister. She’s one hell of a woman. Thank god Josh caught them BEFORE the vows. And, there is a special place in hell for ANYONE, including their AP, for screwing AT THE WEDDING VENUE while she’s WEARING her wedding dress. Don’t get much lower than that.