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'AITA for bringing my GF on a date to my daughter’s workplace?' DAUGHTER RESPONDS

'AITA for bringing my GF on a date to my daughter’s workplace?' DAUGHTER RESPONDS


"AITA for bringing my girlfriend on a date to my daughter’s workplace?"

I (51m) have been dating my girlfriend Millie for just over 6 months. My wife died 4 years ago and this is my longest relationship since, however my daughter Bianca (21f) disapproves.

She has a lot of issues with me and Millie but the main ones are the way we met (through a website) and that I moved Millie into our house fairly quickly after 3 months. In my defense, losing my wife much earlier than I had ever imagined really taught me to seize and enjoy each moment, and it just felt right to both of us to have Millie there with me permanently.

2 months ago, Bianca and Millie got in dispute over our spare room, which Bianca uses as a music space, but Millie wanted to convert into a shooting space for social media (which is her job.) I took Millie’s side since she’s going to be here longer term, so Bianca sped up her plans to move out to the next week and asked that I warn her if Millie’s going to be present at any event or visit.

Anyway, last week I thought it would be nice to treat Millie for her birthday, and she asked for a shopping trip and dinner out, which I was happy to do. The issue is she specifically asked to go to a restaurant where Bianca works as a waitress, since it’s known as one of the most exclusive and classy places in our town.

I knew Bianca was working that day, but figured it would be alright since it’s a large restaurant and a special occasion.

When we arrived, we were given another server so I thought everything was okay. About 15 minutes later, Bianca walked out from the kitchen and immediately saw us sitting there, then walked straight back without even saying hi.

She kept passing the table and silently glaring daggers at Millie, which was just unnecessary when Millie tried to be polite. Millie then asked Bianca for the bill (because she was the nearest waitress), and Bianca slapped it down on the table wordlessly then sent another waitress to see us out.

Later!I called her and asked why she had behaved like a child. Bianca said that me and Millie had been deliberately flirting to upset her which is untrue- the most that happened was a couple of kisses and a bit of footsie/ giggling.

Bianca also claims that when I briefly left to use the toilet, Millie called her over and told her not to contact me for the next few days as we would be too busy engaging in ‘private activities.’

I find it hard to believe Bianca, because Millie has made an effort to bond with her through organising girly activities among other things while Bianca has a history of manipulating others to get her way.

Bianca then told me she wants no contact with Millie or with me apart from at family gatherings. My family is split over the issue, and my ex-wife’s sister called to cuss me out for ‘neglecting’ Bianca who is still grieving her mother.

AITA? I understand that Bianca and Millie have their issues and Bianca misses her mother, but Bianca was at work and I think she should have been more professional.

Here are some comments for OP:

Oh you are being SOOOOOO used lol. YTA, buddy. Good job losing your daughter all for someone who's just using you.

YTA _ a giant one. Your new girlfriend is clearly enjoying needling your daughter with your help. She's manipulative trash & your daughter sees right through that crap.

You better get it together before you completely destroy the relationship you have with your daughter. I guarantee you that's what "Millie" wants.

YTA. You didn’t want to support Bianca because your girlfriend was potentially going to be living there for a longer term, so you effectively ruined your longer-term relationship for one that started a few months prior. Think about who is more important to keep in your life, whoever that is, make sure you try to keep them in your life.

After the post gained traction, his daughter "Bianca" responded:

Hey everyone! This is ‘Bianca’ talking, after I saw the Twitter thread made with Dad’s post and my roommate encouraged me to make an account to at least try to defend myself. I hope at least some of you hear me out (and ty to the very kind twitter peeps who’re looking out for me- appreciate it guys, and I’m fine!)

What my dad says has grains of truth but is so far from the full story it’s basically bu^%$#t. My Mum did die when I was 17, and me and Dad were actually very close. He started dating again a couple years after she died and I was always very supportive until ‘Millie’ came along.

Regardless of what Dad says me and Millie had an emotional relationship lasting several months which ended in a massive bust up and us losing contacts and he was aware of this when I told him I recognised her. He brushed it aside and told me I would get used to it and we would be introduced gradually. I was stoopid and believed his s^%t.

He moved her into the house without asking me, while I was visiting Mum’s family for the week. She did not try to bond with me- she used our shopping days and trips as an excuse to get money off dad for herself.

She cried and begged dad until he got rid of my music room, and he fell for it. I asked them not to be intimate when I was around because I was uncomfortable. They ignored me.

Millie and Dad have since tried to contact me regularly and have shown up in unexpected places. They showed up at my Church, they have apparently visited my work and asked my friends if I’m there. They have even tried messaging me to ask when I’m visiting Mum's grave and I want them to join. They are despicable people who deserve to be cut off.

I would love to hear dads explanation of why I’m manipulative. Until then, tysm to everyone looking out for me again, and just don’t believe any of the crap in this thread. Other than the s^%t about liking young women. That’s probably true.

Here's what people had to say after "Bianca" posted her response:

FWIW, the only manipulative child here is Millie. I’m sorry for what your a^%$ole father has put you through.

"Bianca" responded:

Thank you! I’m angry at Millie but I’m angrier at dad. She’s just a teeny part of a bigger problem and i hope she’s happy. I’m over their relationship now but oh my god it stung when they got together. As shitty and childish as it sounds, i had thought she loved me :(

It’s not childish at all - having an ex start dating your parent would be hurtful and PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable for anyone. It may have been normalized by your dad, but it is NOT normal

"Bianca" added:

Bianca here again! While ‘Millie’ is technically the youngest he’s dated, I want to make it very clear that since mum died, he hasn’t dated anyone over the age of like maybe 32/3 🙄

I'm sorry that your dad values millie more than you. But at least he's publicly shown it even if he won't admit it. And you can move on. Go live your best life and remove these two cancers from it.

"Bianca" responded:

Thank you! I’ve been out for a few weeks now and I feel so much better about the situation. Seeing them in that restaurant absolutely broke me, and to have a man I thought loved me more than anyone call me a liar and manipulative was awful.

I’m not planning on looking through his twitter replies just for my mental health, but does he give any explanation of what he said to me on that call? ❤️❤️

He’s considering making a new post explaining how you’ve manipulated him and Millie in the past and claims you’ve been manipulative since your early teens. He’s also slowly slowly realizing that having parental controls on the laptop he makes Millie share with him and making her tell him all of her usernames and passwords is abusive

"Bianca" responded:

That’s fine. Let him! I appreciate this and yeah, I think if i didn’t cut him off now if regret it.

the whole internet is Team Bianca.

"Bianca" responded:

Hahah really?? I didn’t know how big this had gotten really but so nice to hear people care x.

Sources: Reddit
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