'AITA for bringing an uninvited guest to a destination wedding?' 'We were both a bit surprised!'
"AITA for bringing an uninvited guest to a destination wedding?"
I (26F) was invited to a wedding within my state but far enough that to attend I'd have to sleep over at a hotel for at least two nights if I arrived the night before as it was planned to be a pretty much all-day affair.
I was very flattered to be invited as I didn't think I was that close to the couple. It was a fairly small wedding (~60 guests including the bridal party). Obviously as it was very small and I was possibly a second round invitee I didn't get a plus one. Fine with me.
I ultimately decided to go. When I went to book the hotel room for my stay I found they only had large rooms available (multiple beds or king beds etc) as it's a popular wedding destination and is a bit fancy.
So, I thought, why not invite my boyfriend (26M)? That way we could trade off on the long drive there and back and share the big room I would have to pay for anyways.
The idea was that night we arrived we could get dinner together somewhere new and have a nice breakfast before heading back home. While I was at the wedding events, he could just hang out in the hotel room or the pool or whatever.
The wedding went great, but then after it wrapped up, the maid of honor (who I'm closer to than the bride) was chatting with me as I walked back to my room and I knocked on the door instead of digging through my bag for the keycard. When my boyfriend opened the door for me, the MoH just greeted him and walked off. I didn't think it was a big deal or anything.
A few days later the MoH reached out and said it was awkward and uncomfortable for me to have invited him to the hotel and it made 'everyone' feel bad and weird that he was there waiting for the wedding to end when they hadn't invited him.
We were both a bit surprised! No one even knew he was there, because it didn’t come up at all during the wedding. It definitely wasn’t a secret, and honestly, we wouldn’t have thought it was a big deal if people did know.
AND he had only met the bride and groom like six times and had zero issues with not being invited to such an intimate wedding. Also, if it matters, I was far from the only guest who didn't get a plus one and I never asked to be given a plus one for him.
I have no clue if the MoH told the bride and if the bride also thinks this was inappropriate. If she hasn't I really don't want to contact her during her honeymoon to start drama. I didn't check or anything beforehand (that's my bad, I guess) so was inviting him really a big deal?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ArtShapiro said:
NTA. This is really strange. It looks like folks are trying to create a problem when one doesn't exist. Both you and your BF were happy to make the trip and for him not to intrude on the wedding. The whole incident just doesn't make sense.
SupermarketNeat4033 said:
NTA. Your boyfriends a grown man who chose to go knowing full well he'd be spending the some alone time at the hotel and having his own mini vacation while you were at the wedding. There's no reason to feel bad on his behalf.
I could maybe see it being awkward if the MoH wanted to or assumed she would hang out with after the wedding; after all she did walk with you to your room so maybe she was anticipating being invited in?
Maybe if they saw him around the hotel and felt compelled to make small talk or purposefully avoid him? But either way, who cares? So there was a few minuets of awkwardness. That happens in life sometimes.
I absolutely wouldn't bring it up to anyone else, honeymoon or not, unless they bring it up first. Nothing can be changed about it, so I'd say just move on.
Peony-Pony said:
NTA You invited your boyfriend to accompany to a destination wedding. You did not bring him to any of the wedding festivities. The maid of honor and anyone else who tells you you can't invite someone to accompany you somewhere on your dime can get stuffed. It's none of their business.
FasterThanNewts said:
The MOH is a busybody who needs to get a life. NTA.
Rare_Buy_3132 said:
NTA. If the bride is beefing over this, I feel bad for her new husband.
perusalandtea said:
NTA. The MoH is acting like a 15 year old. I'd not waste another minute thinking about it. If anyone brings it up in future in a negative way, they're really not worth bothering with in your life.