'AITA for bringing my own food to a wedding?' 'I made the couple look bad.'

"AITA for bringing my own food to a wedding?"

So I (36F) went to my college friends wedding last weekend. I was really excited for it, she's a good friend and I wanted to celebrate. The issue is I have a medical condition that means I cant eat certain common ingredients (gluten and dairy). It’s not a fad diet or a preference, I get very sick if I eat them.

I mentioned this on the RSVP card where it asked about dietary restrictions. The bride told me the venue couldn’t guarantee anything gluten- or dairy-free because of cross-contamination, but she hoped I’d “make do with the salad and fruit.”

I didn't want to cause trouble, so I just quietly brought a small container of safe food in my bag (literally just grilled chicken and rice). When dinner was served, I discreetly went outside for 5 minutes, ate it quickly, then came back in to join everyone. I didn’t make a scene, didn’t bring smelly food, didn’t take anything away from the event.

Turns out the groom’s mother saw me with the container outside and apparently told a bunch of people I was “disrespecting the caterer” and “making the couple look cheap.” At the reception, she confronted me and said I was “embarrassing the family” and that I should’ve just eaten beforehand if I had an issue. I explained that I wanted to be there for the full event and didn’t want to faint or get sick.

She rolled her eyes and said I was selfish and that the weddings is “about the couple, not about your diet.” Some of our mutual friends also agree that I made an ahole move and made the couple look bad...now I’m wondering if I really crossed a line. I didn’t want to draw attention, but maybe I should’ve handled it differently. So, AITA for bringing my own food to a wedding?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

SFerd said:

NTA at all! The groom's mother DEFINITELY is! You went out of your way to not inconvenience the wedding party or caterer. No one would have known if the groom's mother hadn't made a big deal about it.

Deep-Manner-4111 said:

NTA. I think what you did was extremely courteous! You didn't expect anyone to cater or bend over backwards for accommodate you, you quietly took care of your own needs in private, so you could be there to celebrate your friend. Anyone that thinks otherwise is honestly ridiculous.

The caterer is hired to be there. They are getting paid either way. They don't care if you eat their food or not. Such a silly thing to even suggest you were being disrespectful. The groom's mother sounds miserable and needs to get a life.

UnhappyRaven said:

NTA. Monster-in-law is the AH. You’re not on a diet for fun, you have to follow a specific diet for medical reasons. And you didn’t make a scene, she did. The caterer probably couldn’t give a flying f (they certainly didn’t care enough to cater for you, but at least they were honest about it).

WabbitCZEN said:

NTA. I'm guessing Celiac's? I dated a woman with that once. It's no joke, and if anyone else can't respect or understand that, you're better off without them in your life.

shann1516 said:

It’s 2025. The catering company could absolutely have served a GF/DF entree.

SimpleAstronomer7854 said:

NTA. This sounds like a no win situation. Groom's mom sounds like a busy body. If you had chosen to eat their food and just had a plate of fruit or salad, she probably would have said the exact same thing and made a big deal out of you "not thinking the cooked food was good enough."

You did nothing wrong. She's obviously someone that likes to complain and start drama. Idk why some people can't keep their mouth shut about other people's food choices, it's really not a big deal.