'AITA for bringing my own vegan food to the BBQ?' 'Apparently this was EXTREMELY offensive.'

"AITA for bringing my own vegan food to the BBQ?"

So I (25F) have been vegan for about 3 years now. My family knows this and while they don’t always get it, they’ve mostly been respectful. Last weekend, my uncle hosted a big family BBQ. I asked ahead of time if there would be any vegan options. He kind of laughed it off and said, “There’ll be salad.”

Not wanting to make a fuss, I brought my own prepped vegan burger and some sides. I even brought enough to share in case anyone wanted to try it. I didn’t ask anyone to cook it for me I grilled it myself on a clean bit of the BBQ an didn’t touch any of the meat.

Apparently this was extremely offensive. Later that night, my aunt told me that I had Embarrassed my uncle by acting like his food wasn’t good enough. She said it was rude to bring my own food and made it seem like I was to good for everyone else’s cooking.

I told her I just didn’t want to be left out and was trying to be polite about it. I even tried to offer people some of what I brought. But now several family members are giving me the cold shoulder and saying I was being dramatic. AITA for not just eating the salad and quietly going along with it?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Several_Razzmatazz51 said:

What’s really offensive is making guests feel unwelcome by only making foods they can’t or won’t eat. If I’m having people over, I make sure I know their dietary restrictions so I can be properly hospitable. Your aunt and uncle are rude.

Gold-Flaked-Paint said:

NTA, and I wouldn't go to any future events that they host. It's unbelievably rude to not accommodate a guest's dietary needs AND THEN chastise them for bringing their own food. My guess is that they aren't actually offended because you brought your own food - they are being hostile to you because you are vegan. Unfortunately that's not an uncommon attitude.

TheRoadkillRapunzel said:

NTA. They wanted you to eat meat or go hungry politely. You politely brought your own food instead when it was clear they had no intentions of accommodating you. You ruined their plans to be able to tease or make fun of you eating a sad salad or choking down a burger. You also made it clear that they are the kinds of AHs who treat their guests badly. That’s what they’re upset about.

Candid-Narwhal-3215 said:

NTA. People will shame you for the fact that they sucked as a host. The response is “well maybe next time he will act like the host he wants everyone to think he is."

Equivalent_Secret_26 said:

NTA. They presumably know you're vegan, you didn't ask them to make anything special for you and you brought something so you could eat bbq vegan style with everyone else. They need to chill out.

Eternalthursday1976 said:

This is totally reasonable. You did well. I’ve done exactly this allergies. Your family are a bunch of aholes. NTA.

Fluffy_Job7367 said:

Nta. A good host makes everyone feel welcome. You did the right thing.