'AITA for bringing real cheese snacks to a baby shower and not warning people?'

"AITA - bringing real cheese snacks to a baby shower and not warning people about the dairy?"

So I (27F) went to my cousin’s baby shower last weekend and offered to bring snacks. I love cooking and wanted to make something special instead of the usual premade grocery store trays and cookies. I made homemade goldfish-style crackers with real sharp cheddar, butter, and spices(the expensive stuff too).

Everyone loved them and were grabbing handfuls up on handfuls. I even put them in little pastel bowls around the house so everyone wouldn't crowd around one spot, but like an hour in, her friend who we shall refer to as Linda comes up to me and asks if there was dairy products in those crackers.

I said yes, they’re obviously cheese crackers. She looked horrified and said she was lactose intolerant, then said she was feeling sick. She went to lie down and later told everyone I should’ve warned people. It’s very clearly a cheese cracker though? They’re orange.

They smell like cheese. What part of that screams 'safe for sensitive stomachs?' She didn’t ask beforehand, she didn’t even hesitate, just kept eating them and then acted like I poisoned her. Someone else chimed in and said I should’ve labeled them for allergens, but I didn’t realize dairy was apparently an allergen now. It's not like I snuck shellfish into brownies. It’s cheddar. In cheese crackers. At a party.

The host (my cousin) said everything was fine and not to worry, but now I’m hearing from my mom that Linda's telling people she was “violently ill” and that “the food wasn’t safe.” I think that’s dramatic, honestly. If your stomach can’t handle cheese ma'am, maybe don’t eat mystery crackers at a party?

So now there’s drama in the group chat about how “we should make food more inclusive” and I’m being told I should apologize to keep the peace. AITA for bringing cheesy snacks to a baby shower and assuming adults would know how to avoid something they can’t eat?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Flimsy_Ad_655 said:

NTA - I am severely lactose intolerant so you know what I do? I make sure food is dairy free before I shove it into my pie hole, and I don't delegate the job of monitoring what I eat to my host. She's drama-mongering. You have nothing to apologize for. She is a grown adult who should know how to govern herself better and carry a supply of Lactaid.

Roxxxxxxxxxxx03 said:

Wouldn't you think after the first bite she would taste the cheese and question it at that point? Yet she still consumes handfuls of them. She's an adult, so she should also be held accountable for her intolerance.

GroovyYaYa said:

"I'm sorry you didn't know cheese is a dairy product."

keetots said:

NTA. I am extremely allergic to almond flour (really any processed almonds), amongst other random food allergies. I wouldn't touch a thing at a party without verifying what's in something. This is on Linda. FWIW, people who are lactose intolerant usually are the ones I know that will still down cheesy pizza or a handful of cheddar cubes and then take a Lactaid.

amyloulie said:

NTA. She’s an idiot and should know better if she is that violently reactive to lactose.

Useful-Commission-76 said:

NTA. If this person, Linda, was genuinely allergic or seriously vegan she would have asked many questions before putting anything homemade by stranger into her mouth. The host, OP’s cousin, said don’t worry about it. So the correct answer is: don’t worry about it. It’s not OP’s problem.