'AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he’s a momma’s boy?'
"AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he’s a momma’s boy?"
I (28F) recently broke up with my boyfriend (30M) because of his relationship with his mom. At first, I thought it was sweet how close they were, but over time, it started to really bother me.
For context, his mom is very involved in his life. She still does things for him that, in my opinion, a grown man should be handling himself. For example, when she visits, she’ll cut his steak for him and put the fork in his mouth, wash his underwear, run a bath for him ans help him wash his hair, and tuck him into bed for naps.
When she’s around, he completely reverts to a child. He stops flushing the toilet, doesn’t clean up after himself, and just acts like he’s 8 years old. It’s like all the maturity and independence I fell for just disappears.
I tried to talk to him about how uncomfortable it made me. I explained that while I respect his love for his mom, I think there should be some boundaries. He brushed it off, saying I was overreacting and that this was just “how they’ve always been.”
The final straw was when she stayed over for a weekend, and he expected me to cater to her the way she caters to him. I’m talking cleaning up after both of them, cooking all the meals, and even joining in on their bizarre nap routine. I felt like I was the third wheel in my own relationship.
After that, I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and ended things. He was shocked and said I was “jealous of his mom” and “just didn’t understand their bond.” His mom, of course, called me ungrateful and immature.
Now, I’m wondering if I overreacted. I didn’t want to make him choose between me and his mom, but I also couldn’t see myself in a relationship where I felt like the side character to their dynamic. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP about her ex-boyfriend and his mom:
What a bad day to have eyeballs girl. NTA
NTA. This isn't just being a mama's boy, this is disturbing codependent behavior. His mom cutting his food and bathing him at 30? Tucking him in for naps? That's not normal or healthy. And him expecting you to join this weird dynamic is a massive red flag.
You didn't overreact. You dodged a bullet. Find someone who acts like an adult and doesn't need mommy to wash their underwear. Run far and don't look back. Seriously.
Seriously, read your post as though someone else wrote it. Now do you really think you overreacted? You did well to get out of that disturbing mess before you married into this creepy family and had kids.
Ok-Relation3772 OP:
I can't even imagine treating my own future kid like that.
What is their bizarre nap routine?
Ok-Relation3772 OP:
They cuddle together on the couch. She rubs his temples until he falls asleep.
That's honestly very creepy 😳
Ok-Relation3772 OP:
I was too in shock to say anything. It made me feel like the crazy one.
The first time he didn't flush the toilet, I'd have been out!! That goes way beyond being a momma's boy to just being disgusting! Abso-fu^%$in-lutely not!!
Ok-Relation3772 OP:
It grossed me out so bad.
Yeah, that's a hard no for me!! 🤮🤮🤮🤮 And then you add the rest of it, you dodged a huge bullet on that guy! Congratulations on being free. And BTW, you're not even close to the AH on this. The whole thing just gives me the skeeeeevs!!