'AITA? I broke up with my GF for maintaining a relationship with a 'guy friend.''

"AITA? I broke up with my girlfriend for maintaining a relationship with a ‘guy friend.’"

My (now ex) girlfriend has a ‘guy friend’ that she has been texting for a long time, even before we got together. I’m 29M, she’s 25F. I guess they were friends when she lived in Florida a few years ago and they kept in contact after she left.

I’m not the jealous type and told her I didn’t mind, as long as this was just a ‘friends’ thing. She was very up front about this ongoing relationship with this dude when we first started dating, but I caught some red flags along the way. She would text this guy all the time, every day.

If she didn’t answer for an extended period of time, he’d pretty much blow her phone up. All I’d hear is ding ding ding and see ‘Jason’ come across her screen. I’ve never been the type to go through my s/o’s phone, spy on their socials, etc.

I’ve always figured that if there’s that little trust, it’s probably not the right relationship. Fast forward six months later and now he’s calling her for like an hour every night, wants to FaceTime her on her days off, and I communicated that this behavior is weird and not cool with me— this dude is in love with her.

I’m a firefighter, so I’m gone a few nights a week because of my job, and I’ve asked her to maintain a social life because I think that’s healthy, but I’ve also told her she needs to end this ongoing thing with this dude if she’s going to continue to be in a relationship with me.

The ‘I lost my sh!t’ point finally happened last week when I found out she met up with him on a work trip to the same state he lives in and didn’t tell me— I had to find out from a friend’s girlfriend who saw a picture of them together on an Instagram account I didn’t even know she had.

I put all of her stuff in boxes, as she’s been staying with me since her parents kicked her out, and confronted her about it when she got home from work. She told me I’m overreacting, being a control freak and that what she does with her friends is none of my business— I told her to get out of my apartment and have a nice life.

Now she’s calling me every day and leaving me voicemails apologizing profusely for what happened, saying she was out of line and wants to talk, but I’m just done with the situation. I feel bad about kicking her out with zero notice because I know she has nowhere to go (but I’m pretty sure she’s couch surfing somewhere) and one of my friends that is a girl told me I handled the situation inappropriately. AITAH?

This is what people had to say to OP:

it_is_what_it_is_07 said:

NTA- if Jason is such a “good friend” so much that she risked her relationship for him, she can ask him to help her get a new apartment.

OP responded:

She will definitely need a co-signer because that girl can’t finance a toaster.

Key_Habit_4994 said:

NTA if she had to hide it then she shouldn’t have been doing it

IllustriousValue9907 said:

NTA, this situation was full of red flags, 2nd insta account. Meeting on work trip with a member of the opposite sex. Then hiding it. That's a hook up. Then she double downs on it and try to gaslighting you.Your well within your rights to drop her.

He is either her Ex. or her back up plan. She knew how you felt about this " friend ship", and decided ti meet him anyway. She has no respect for you, the only reason she seen the error of her ways is because she has no where to stay. Now she found her actions have consequences.

P.s., I would definitely do a DNA test on any kids she might claim are yours in near future.

And Routine-Cicada-4949 said:

She's not ready for a serious Adult relationship yet. The fake/other Insta account is the final straw. You deserve better. Look after yourself, mate.