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'ATIA for 'embarrassing' a bride at her wedding by not letting her dance with my son?'

'ATIA for 'embarrassing' a bride at her wedding by not letting her dance with my son?'


"ATIA for 'embarrassing' a bride at her wedding by not letting her dance with my son?"

I (34M) am not fond of my brother’s wife (23F). Even before the wedding planning started, the overall vibe was just...weird. She’s very demanding of my little brother. She tried to insert herself into our family very quickly.

They were only together for eight months before they got engaged. I do my best to play nice for my brother’s sake. I agreed to be one of his best men, but expressed my concerns to him both before and after I accepted.

Their wedding was today. It was a very pretty ceremony and I made it through without much incident. My husband and our 6 month old were there as guests and I was looking forward to spending time with them following the ceremony.

Neither myself nor my husband were drinking more than one glass of champagne since our son was there, but there was an open bar. My brother’s wife was already at least tipsy by the time the “first dances” picked up.

After all the usual dances, she came over to where my husband and I were seated and held out her arms for our son. She said she wanted to have a “first dance” with him. It was a cute gesture, but I smiled and politely declined. She and I don’t have much of a relationship outside of your usual pleasantries, and I don’t feel comfortable with her holding my son.

She tried again, and my husband stepped in and told her a stern no since she didn’t accept the first one. She kind of laughed things off and things went on without incident after that.

The event wrapped up about an hour ago and I have since received some pretty scathing texts from my brother saying that I totally embarrassed his wife at her wedding and that she’s very upset. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this:

BadgerinBaltimore23 said:

NTA: a baby isn't a prop to be passed around.

crazymommaof2 said:

Nope NTA- drinking and babies not a good combo. Especially because you said she was already tipsy, spinning around the dance floor with a wiggly 6 month old spells disaster.

You also aren't required to let anyone hold your baby if your not comfortable with it. No matter how much of a tantrum they throw after the fact.

SvenG0lly said:

Tipsy + probably wearing high heels + possibly in a dress that obstructs movement or creates a tripping hazard = no effing way you’re holding my baby. NTA.

[deleted] said:

I feel like it’s ESH. She sucks for pushing it and you’re well within your rights to say no to her holding your son. But your overall tone in this post is really judgmental. Your brother proposed at 8 months, did he not? Why is she at fault for that?

TheQuietType84 said:

ESH. She was tipsy and in heels, I wouldn't have given her my baby. That's why she sucks. But I also would have nicely told her that, instead of 'sternly' telling her no at her wedding. Because she's family now.

You get the suck because you do nothing but judge her in this post for getting married too fast while failing to acknowledge your brother thought to propose, went out and bought a ring, proposed, went through the wedding planning, and then stood at the altar and married her.

Your baby brother isn't her victim. He loves her. You need to accept that. He chose her just as you chose your husband.

LadyCass79 said:

NTA. Getting tipsy at your wedding is fine but you don't get drunk and ask to hold someone's baby. She should have taken your first no. No one embarrassed her but her. She's a part of your family now.

Perhaps make an effort outside this situation to get to know her an include her in appropriate ways. This doesn't have to be a huge drama unless you let it.

cave_mandarin said:

ESH. You wouldn’t suck if you didn’t make an entire post complaining about irrelevant details and setting the stage for how much you hate this woman.

If you would have chalked it up to not wanting a tipsy woman holding your baby there wouldn’t even be a conversation. I wouldn’t expect much of a relationship with your brother after this point.

So, there you have it...

Sources: Reddit
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