'AITA for telling my brother he is weird for starting a new family at his age?'
"AITA for telling my brother he is weird for starting a new family at his age?"
Top-Story-2156
My kid brother Danny's wife left him after their last kid moved out. They had been married for 25 years. Since he was 20. She was the only woman he had ever been with. She had been part of our family for 30 years. They started dating when she was a freshman.
I guess after 30 years she was ready for something new. She said that she was 44 and that she wanted to go enjoy her life before it was too late. That was 5 years ago. He is 50 now and his new wife is 30. And they are expecting their first child. I hope it's their only child.
He is happy to have a partner again and he would do anything to keep her happy. I was happy for him when he started dating again. It got weird when he met and married a woman younger than my kids.
And now they are having a kid. They had a big gender reveal party and it's going to be a boy. He is ecstatic. The family is happy for him. His three older kids are happy for him.
His ex is a little miffed but that might be sour grapes as her enjoyment of life has run into the roadblock of funding it. She got no child support and lost out on spousal support when she remarried two years after the divorce.
Danny asked me why I was acting weird. I told him that he is too old to be doing such a dumb thing. That he is five years from retirement and that he will now have a baby that is the same age as his first grandchild. That he married a bridesmaid from his daughter's wedding was weird enough but that to have a kid at 50 was super strange.
I guess he told his wife and this has started a huge fight. She doesn't want me around if I'm going to be a judgmental b-word, her words. Most of my family told me I should keep those thoughts to myself. Even his daughter whose friend he married told me to butt out.
I was only thinking of my brother and this new kid. I talked to Danny again and apologized. I told him that I was only thinking about his future. He said that he is healthy, in great shape physically and financially, and in love.
He said that if I can't just be happy for him it would be best if we didn't hang out so much in the future. So now I'm biting my tongue just so I don't get frozen out because pretty much everyone is on his side.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
patt7427
Everyone’s an adult here. Everyone else seems happy, prepared, and stable enough to handle this situation. The baby is coming - nothing is going to stop that. You’re basically fighting with the air at this point.
It’s good that you apologized, but it would be better for everyone - and for yourself - if you work out your feelings about this matter quietly and on your own time. YTA if you keep bringing doubt and negativity to a situation that is going to happen whether you like it or not.
Gold_Repair_3557
YTA. At this juncture, what was the point in saying it? The baby’s coming either way and as long as the two of them are happy, why be bothered? His wife is 30, not a fresh adult, so she knows what she’s signing on with getting involved with a man twenty years older than her. His first wife already left him and now has a sibling who is judging his newfound happiness.
Fancy-Boysenberry864
Yta. Literally everyone else involved is happy. The woman is an adult. She is 30 not 20. He’s 50 not 65 so yeah he will be an older dad when the kid is in high school. Yeah just sit this out cuz it really seems like it’s none of your business.
AsparagusOverall8454
It’s a bit out of the norm to start a family at 50, but not unheard of. Also, none of your business really. He didn’t ask for your opinion. So best to mind your own business. They’re adults. They get to make their own decisions.
Mustng1966
YTA - You are the judgmental one, aren't you? It is Danny's life and in no way your business at all if he wants to raise another family at his age. He's happy about it, his wife is happy about and no doubt the kid(s) will be happy about it. For you to rain on his parade here is just terrible. Yes, butt the Hell out.
GoreGoddezz
YTA. In what world is 55 retirement? Also, in what world is 50 near the end of our lives? You're acting like he's old, decrepit and ready for Shady Pines. You should absolutely keep your opinions to yourself on other people's lives.
There's a reason everyone else is happy for him... They are behaving like adults. Instead of being happy another beautiful life is coming into the world... Making your brother happy... You're only thinking of your opinion.
RumSoakedChap
I agree it’s a bit icky for him to have married someone his daughter is friends with, but she’s 30 and a functioning adult. It doesn’t sound like she or his kids have a problem with it. It’s totally ok if you find it weird but telling him he’s doing a dumb thing at the gender reveal is a bit out of line. So YTA for that.
MotherofShepherdz
YTA. No, you really suck as a person. Why do you get to dictate at what age people have children? Why is it any of your business? They are healthy, happy, consenting adults who want to start a family. Let them be happy and leave your bitterness out of it.
ffopel
Yes be happy for them and keep your thoughts to yourself.