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'AITA for giving my son a burger at a BBQ where burgers were for adults only?'

'AITA for giving my son a burger at a BBQ where burgers were for adults only?'


"AITA for giving my son a burger at a BBQ where burgers were for adults only?"

My husband met some guy last year and became close with him over the months. He just invited us down for a BBQ at his house yesterday. We brought food as well. We brought enough for 12 burgers, 12 hot dogs and some extras (like sodas, chips, etc.). There were roughly 8 adults and probably around 12 kids at the BBQ, not including us and our 3 kids (13, 9 and 8 months).

Our oldest of 3 children doesn't like hot dogs. He's grossed out by them. He watched a video on how they were made years ago and has refused to touch them since. So, when he went up to the grill and he was handed a couple of hotdogs. He politely asked for a burger instead.

The guy at the grill (husband's friend) says, "nope, sorry kid, the burgers are for the adults." I tried explaining that he doesn't like hotdogs, but the guy just kind of shrugged his shoulders.

So I asked for a burger, and right in front of him I had my son switch plates with me. This did cause some hang ups. The other kids were asking why he got a burger when they weren't allowed to. However, no one said anything directly to me or my son.

Well, this guy's been texting my husband today saying that next time there's a BBQ, I'm not invited, followed by a "lol" like it was a joke.

My husband asked why, and he said that I caused an uproar over a hotdog and that this was "just how s%$t went" at their house and that burgers are for the adults only whenever there's a BBQ at their place and they "won't be changing their rules" to accommodate to a lone child. My husband hasn't responded and now I'm just pissed in general because now I think the guys a scum bag.

It wasn't like we went empty handed. 12 extra burgers is what I personally brought and if my son wanted one of them, he's going to have one regardless of what this man says. My husband thinks I should just drop it ,but he's literally not defending me or our son here and I'm pissed. Was I wrong here?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

😭Thinking back to when I was a kid I always got to pick what I wanted...have times really changed this much!?!😭

OP responded:

I have literally never been to a BBQ like this, ever. And I've been to too many BBQs to count. This guy just seems like he's on a power trip or something. What made it even worse is that when we left, there was at least 10 left over burgers. It was my first time meeting this guy and me and my children will never be around him again, that's for sure.

What? Why were the burgers only for adults? Especially if you brought some. Why would anyone care if he'd prefer a burger over a hotdog? NTA here, this makes no sense to me. I don't know why your husband wont take your side, is the whole 'burgers only for adults' a common thing where you are?

OP responded:

Not even a little common, no. I have been to so many BBQs and never once had this been a thing. I think this dude is just on a power trip and doesn't want to share any burgers with his 6 children because it would be more expensive than hotdogs so he just made it a rule.

Nta. Some kids don't like hotdogs. They like burgers instead. Who cares? What a control freak. It would be one thing if your son was like no I want ice cream but he wanted food served at the bbq. A perfectly normal acceptable choice. People all have their personal preferences.

Personally I don't really like hot dogs or burgers although I'd be able to eat either. I wouldn't go back to their house for any get togethers. I wouldn't want to spend time with them tbh but your husband seems hung up on this guy enough to throw you and your kid under the bus to impress him so idk how that will go.

OP responded:

My husband hasn't had any luck making friends for years. I think he's just so hung up on having a friend that he's going stupid.


NTA I'm from the South and BBQs are pretty much an every weekend thing growing up. I have run into the type of parent you are describing and they are the absolute worst. This type of thinking extends to every meal. Parents get steak, kids get chicken nuggets. The kids always get the cheap gallon of sugar drink while adults get the cokes.

In their mind children just don't deserve nice things because they don't pay for it. They also don't think children should have any choice or autonomy. It's really hard to watch.

I personally would let your husband know that you don't want your children around someone who sees them as a lower class than themselves. You bought and paid for the food he denied your child.

The fact he tried to talk over you and tell you what your child would be eating makes me think he also extends his views onto women. I doubt he would have told your husband the same nonsense if he had insisted on a burger for his child.

Sources: Reddit
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