'AITA if I call out my coworker for copying my hair and clothing style?' UPDATED

"WIBTA if I called my copycat coworker out for stealing my style?"

I (21F) started a new job in winter. I have 4 other coworkers on my project whom with i work together and its been a blast. If only there wasn't this unusual annoyance. I'm very into fashion and have established a very certain style.

I try and run a fashion blog that i wont be naming here, and the reason I mention this is because i want to emphasize the fact that I normally wouldn't have an emotional reaction to people asking where I got my clothes since that's kinda what I do. One of my coworkers (F22, Lets call her H) is very comfortable copying me. This started out very innocent, with her asking where I got my earrings from.

Soon she had bought those herself. That's cool, they're a pair of earrings. Then one day she was complimenting my coat and I told her it was a real steal since it was in sale in this store. The next day she was wearing the exact same one. This I found a little odd since this has never happened in my circle. Couple days go buy and she complimented my shoes. At that point I knew where this was going.

Its April now and she has basically copied my whole wardrobe: she doesn't ask me where my clothes are from anymore but finds similar ones herself. We don't only wear the same pieces to work but the same outfits on different days. Since we don't hang out on free time I hold onto the hope that my coworkers were the only ones testifying this and would have noticed I wasn't the one copying her.

The part that drives me over the edge is this. On Friday i got my hair done in a salon, a real treat yourself transformation from brunette to copper. I posted my hair on instagram and H slid into my dms hyping me up and mentioning she should book an appointment too. I was happy for her as one is and cant believe I didn't see the following coming.

On Monday we both showed up to work with same copper hair. I was fuming. The worst part was my other coworker complimenting my hair and asking whether i got it done after liking H's new hair. She thought i was the one copying her? I wanted to correct her but was too bazzled at the time.

I feel like I've had enough. This feels like some middle school stuff. I guess it might be childish to even care and I know you cant own a style, but it feels like huge part of my identity is being borrowed against my will. I also hate the idea of ppl thinking i'm the one copying her when id never do such thing and am pretty good at coming up with own ideas.

I also wouldn't mind matching sometimes if she were to ask me but she does it every day on her own. So, wibta if i confronted her about this? How should I do it?

EDIT: I wanna clarify the fact that the outfits I (we) wear are not classic work pantsuits and classic combos, i accessorise quite a bit and go really overboard with my outfits. We don't have a dress code at work so I do like to wear very personalized outfits and it brings me a lot of joy, which is why this is super weird. If it was white collar dress code we would all have to dress quite the same.

EDIT 2: You guys keep asking about my blog. I'd be glad to see people wear my ensembles on Insta or whatever, she just doesn't wear anything else and the problem is we are seen together every day and my peers might think I'm the one who doesn't have a taste.

What do you think? WIBTA if she confronts her "copycat" co-worker? This is what top commenters had to say:

[deleted] said:

YWBTA. Block her on social media and try to keep her guessing. Like you said, this feels like some middle school stuff.

RubyJuneRocket said:

NTA and while this is a leap, but reading this just made me have deja vu, considering this exact thing happened to me in college with a roommate. It started out like flattering or polite inquiries and then eventually escalated to the point where it became like a “single white female” situation where she was trying to take my place.

But the things that caused my concern at the start: She dyed her hair. Got contacts to match. Switched majors to be in mine, and that’s all on top of the matching clothes.

Izankaleli said:

Gentle YWBTA. Seriously, this sounds annoying AF and i get why you're losing your patience. This sitiation has single white female ( film 1992) stalkerish vibes . But, you my dear, are clearly fashion forward and stylish , and she thinks your style is superior to her own.

You can't legitimately confront her without looking crazy and petty. Maybe temporarily colour your hair pink, green something slightly off your usual look, post image then wash it off by Monday and see if she follows suit.

And [deleted] said:

NTA at all. I'd talk to her about it and ask what's up. Because people think this nonsense is harmless but it not. It escalates. Nip it in the bud

Three weeks later, she shared this update:

So a while ago I did a post about a coworker excessively copying my outfits. Thanks for all the suggestions and support, i read them all!I was obviously still dealing with this on daily basis so I decided to say something either way. I went with the confrontation route.

Last week we both came into work wearing one of my favorite ensembles: a floral dress with white stockings and hair half up with a light pink bow tie matched with same styled shoes and bag. It wasn't everyday that we happened to wear the same ensemble the same day so i thought this was a perfect opportunity to talk with her: the evidence was literally right there on this girl??

So we were about to leave the break-room and i asked if i could have a word with her alone. Me: "So this is kinda awkward but I've noticed you wear a lot of same outfits i wear. In fact i haven't seen you wear anything else than the outfits i have for a long time. It's a free country and I've tried not to care but it bothers me since no one else has ever copied me to this extent and its making me uncomfortable.

Is everything okay? I wanted to know how come do you feel that we should look alike, I'm sure you know no one else does this?" She started out looking uncomfortable but then got kinda mad and said something like "I don't know who said i was copying you, but I am not. I just happen to like the same stuff you like."

Me: " Yeah and that's cool obviously if only you were to like mix them up in different way than i do or something. Every day you wear the same thing I've put together and worn another time, and I'm running out of new outfits since id like not to match with someone sometimes.

It's just not possible that its a coincidence, we both know that. Like look at us right now, this is insane, we are like twin girls in a church. Its not a coincidence since i put this together myself, we both know I've seen me wearing this and bought all the same stuff it takes from me to put this together. I appreciate u liking the way i dress but id like to understand why."

She looked pissed and was kinda embarrassed but didn't really say anything after that, just left. I get that, because what would she say? I know i embarrassed her, but no one else heard the conversation. I feel kinda bad since shes not doing anything inherently mean, its just insane and i don't get it and i feel so much better after being able to express my feelings towards this thing shes doing.

It's been about a week now and to my surprise she has been showing up to work with different outfits now. We obviously still wear the same pieces but she now doesn't put them together to match me exactly, and i feel extremely relieved.

My style is big part of how i express myself and i feel like i get to be the only version of me again and it feels GOOD. We are probably not gonna be friends after this (she only talks to me when she has to) but i guess I'm okay with it.