'AITA for calling my sister a lazy leech after she demanded I babysit her kids EVERY WEEKEND?'
"AITA for calling my sister a lazy leech after she demanded I babysit her kids EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND?"
So here’s the deal: I (28F) have a full-time job that requires me to work long hours, plus I have my own life and social commitments. My sister (30F) has three kids (ages 6, 4, and 2) who are adorable but, let’s be real, a handful.
Ever since she had the third kid, she’s concluded that I should step up and be her personal babysitter every weekend so she can "have a break" and go out with her friends. Now, I love my niece and nephews, but I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my entire weekend just because she can’t manage her own parenting responsibilities.
Last week, after yet another weekend spent babysitting while she was out partying, I finally snapped. I told her that I felt like a “lazy leech” for relying on me to do her parenting for her, and that she needs to find a proper solution rather than just dumping her kids on me.
She flipped out and called me “selfish” and said I “clearly don’t care about family.” I told her she was being entitled and that I have a right to my own time, too.
Now she’s gone and told the whole family I’m the jerk, and everyone keeps texting me saying I should help her out more. AITA here for wanting to have my own life instead of playing second mom to her kids every weekend?
Edit: Dad is a deadbeat, so he is not a viable option for the kids.
Here's whtat people had to say to OP:
Come on, do you really need internet strangers to confirm you don't have to babysit three children every weekend while their mother parties?
Throvavay483728 OP responded:
I'm not interested in engaging in a conversation with someone whose entire account history consists of toxic comments.
NTA but why did you agree to it in the first place???
Throvavay483728 OP responded:
One typically wants to be there for their family.
NTA. Any family member who tells you you should help out more, reply with this “Thank you for supporting my sister! I’ll let her know that you have volunteered your time to babysit for her every weekend!”
There was a post a while back where a another Sibling was in a similar situation as you. Her sister was demanding she babysit a lot and her family was pressuring her to just give in and do it because family helps family. So she made a schedule where everyone had a turn because family. Maybe you could do something along those lines and see who steps up to dance and who runs.
Throvavay483728 OP responded:
Thank you. This is good advice.
Tell her no. If she shows up anyway to drop them off, don’t answer the door. Or already be gone when she usually shows up. Her children are not your responsibility. Tell those pressuring you to care for her kids to do it themselves.
Throvavay483728 OP responded:
Yes, I'm planning on not answering the door. Some have suggested that I call CPS, and that's exactly what I'm going to do moving forward.
She doesn't give them to you?? Just drive them there like a fedex package??
Throvavay483728 OP responded:
Yes, because if she waited for me to open the door, I'd have a chance to say no. Now, I feel like I have no choice but to take them in.
When she leaves the kids there and drives off, call the police for abandoned children.
NTA. Is she one of those "it takes a village" types who only want others to give but offer nothing in return? r/childfree has many posts about this type of behavior and some creative options for dealing with it.
"everyone keeps texting me saying I should help her out more." you now have a nice list of volunteers
If you use this on your family please please give an update.
Throvavay483728 OP responded:
Yes, I will post an update as soon as the moment arrives.