'AITA for calling emergency services for my GF while on call during what I thought was an asthma attack?'
"AITA for calling emergency services for my girlfriend while on call during what I thought was an asthma attack, even though everything turned out to be okay?"
We were on the phone talking and playing a video game. After a short time, she said she was "choking" because of her asthma and that it was hard for her to speak. This was around 12–1 AM. She wanted me to stay on the call, so I did. Every 5–10 minutes I asked if she was okay, and each time she answered with a shaky voice saying “I don’t know.”
I was really worried and suggested she wake her mom up, since her mom would know what to do. She said no, that her mom would yell at her and that this always happens. So I just stayed on the call. A few minutes later, I called her name and got no response. Just before that, I had heard coughing. I called her name again...nothing. I assumed the worst and started yelling her name.
Still nothing. I called her phone to make it ring...no answer. I called one of her friends and explained what was happening. Her friend also became worried and tried to reach someone in the house. All of this happened within 10 minutes. I started calling the ambulance for the city she was in (we were in different cities at the time). The line was busy multiple times.
After 15 minutes, I called my local ambulance to see if they could connect me to hers. They couldn’t, but told me to call 112. I did, and they transferred me. The dispatcher asked for her number so they could try to reach her. 13 minutes later they called me back to get her address. I stayed on the line. Then, her friend said she reached another friend who had her mom’s number.
That person called her mom repeatedly until she woke up, she went into her room. Turns out my girlfriend had just fallen asleep and was okay. I felt huge relief. But then I had to figure out how to cancel the ambulance. I called and let them know. The dispatcher said, in a rushed voice, “Alright sir, just next time think well before we alarm everyone possible,” and hung up. Now I feel really guilty and embarrassed.
I think I might be TA because I triggered a big emergency response when, in the end, nothing was wrong. It may have wasted emergency resources. But from my perspective at the time, I genuinely believed she might be in serious danger.
AITA?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
therdlyfe wrote:
NTA. And I say this as someone with severe, hard to control asthma. I was in the ER on the 3rd, into the 4th of this month. I was also back in a week later (bad reaction to something else, which triggered an attack). If I start coughing a lot at home, my sister comes to check on me. I am on control meds and albutorol as needed.
Thank goodness I go see my pulmonologist on Friday. I am going to see about stronger control meds.
Edit: Before anyone asks, yes, I have an emergency inhaler. Sometimes it just doesn't work. My meds are 2x a day via nebulizer.
Princess-She-ra wrote:
NTA and the dispatcher shouldn't have said that. You called emergency service because based on the facts you had at the moment - the asthma , coughing, silence etc - you believed that something bad happened. I would've also called emergency - that's what they're there for. I'm glad your friend is okay. I believe you did exactly the right thing.
FrostyIcePrincess wrote:
Girlfriend says she’s choking from an asthma attack and asks OP to stay on the line. She keeps saying she doesn’t know if she’s okay.
Girlfriend stops answering.
Option 1 she’s unconscious and can’t call for help and might die.
Option 2 she fell asleep.
I’d also panic and call emergency services if I was OP. NTA.
extinct_diplodocus wrote:
NTA. Just because it turned out alright doesn't mean you didn't do the right thing. All indications were that it was an emergency, and you reacted accordingly. It's important for you to understand this, because if this happens again, you need to perform the same actions you did. Next time, it might not be something so simple as falling asleep. Meanwhile, your gf should not take things so lightly.
Slushie_Fizz wrote:
The operator shouldn’t have said that, you are NTA, with the information you had you thought it was an emergency.
I hope your girlfriend is okay, it’s not okay for her mom to get mad at her if she is having trouble breathing and needs help…
CustomizedGaming wrote:
DON'T LET HER DO THIS. If she is letting her asthma act up constantly, she is doing permanent damage to her lungs. Every asthma attack can kill you. NTA. It can become easy to become desensitized to stuff.
That dispatcher should be fired. In this case it is better to be dafe than sorry because sorry is dead. Every single minute counts. Every second the brain goes without oxygen is that much closer to waking up unable to walk or speak or do anything you knew how to do. Death is a terrible fate, but there are fates worse still.
anntchrist wrote:
NTA. Uncontrolled asthma can kill you and you need an ambulance in that situation. I know because I almost died from an asthma attack. You could have saved her life. You did the right thing and for her own good your girlfriend needs some more clarity on how to treat her asthma and what an emergency looks like.
Please encourage her to follow up with her primary doctor and get her asthma under control. I take a maintenance inhaler every day and almost never need the rescue inhaler, but it took me a long time to take it seriously.
MistressLyda wrote:
NTA.
And I would be tempted to file a formal complaint on the dispatcher. If they say something like that to the wrong person, that then ends up thinking too long and hard about if they should call or not? It will be the difference between life and d**th.