'AITA for calling my MIL out for paying for her daughter's lavish wedding?'

"AITA for calling my MIL out for paying for her daughter's lavish wedding?"

I met my husband 4 years ago, we got married 2 years ago (had a small $2,500 wedding on a beach). We have a 2.5 year old and 13 month old twins. Throughout our time together, his parents have rarely offered to pay for anything, which I would normally think is fine as I don’t expect things from others.

It’s key to note that they try to pass themselves off as being incredibly rich (expensive cars, always talking about being rich). The only thing they have ever paid for is when we moved away from Texas to Florida, they convinced my husband that if he moved back to Texas, he would make more money. They said they would even cover the cost of the move.

I reluctantly agreed - although I didn’t want to leave Florida - because I felt pressured by them and my husband. However, on a day-to-day basis since, they have never offered to even buy a can of formula or diapers when they see the kids. When I was 6 months pregnant with the twins and had just bought a house...

(I put all the money down, my husband contributed nothing), they actually asked me to pay them $2,500 a month to reimburse them for the move they claimed they were paying for and for my engagement ring (apparently they did loan money to my husband to buy my ring). I refused, obviously.

Fast forward to now. My husband’s sister is engaged. She and the parents like to talk about how rich her fiancé is. I find it odd that they always like to talk about people being rich. Anyway, she wants a lavish wedding. My MIL and FIL are admittedly spending $100,000 on their part of the wedding.

They have also paid for the sister and fiance’s hotels when they traveled to Turkey together. My in-laws claimed it’s because their daughter got them free flights through her job.

(Also key to note, their daughter lost her job when I met her and I got her a job at this airline. She would’ve been unemployed and none of them would’ve been flying anywhere free if it weren’t for me.)

Considering all of this, I think it’s wild the parents have given literally NOTHING to help my husband and our struggling family with 3 babies, in fact they tried to TAKE money from me, all while they spend $100k+ on the daughter and her fiancé. The mother doesn’t see what’s wrong with this, and says this is what you do with your daughters, not your sons. I told her she’s absolutely insane. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Grcdogsandcats said:

Don’t say another word. They favor your SIL. Your hubby has been dealing with this his whole life. He can ask them directly for financial help or not. I would keep my mouth shut & let him handle it. It’s not going to change.

KateJ1982 said:

YTA. Why are you more worried about your in-laws not contributing to your finances than you are about your husband not contributing to your finances?

Oberyn_Kenobi_1 said:

YTA. They’re paying for her wedding. That’s something lots of parents do. That’s wildly different from just giving you money, which seems to be what you’d like them to do. Paying for her hotel on a trip is a very reasonable thing to do when she got them free airfare - and...

No, it is not “key to note” that you got her the job that allowed her to do that. That’s totally irrelevant unless you’re claiming you took a trip with them and got them their airfare and they did nothing in return.

I won’t speak to the moving costs - sounds like there may things your husband isn’t telling you about the terms of their agreement to cover those costs since apparently he didn’t tell you he still owed them for your ring.

areyukittenm3 said:

YTA. Yes they are clearly showing favoritism but you also sound entitled and bitter. I mean what does you struggling with 3 kids have to do with them when that was a choice you made with your husband to move AND have multiple kids?

It sounds more like your husband needs to step up and you need to stop concerning yourself with how your in-laws are spending their money. Your husband clearly makes bad financial decisions if he’s taking loans from people to buy a ring.

BodybuilderOk7606 said:

YTA whatever they spend their money on is none of your business. It is your husband's parents and if he says it hurts his feels then that is up to him. You are not entitled to parents funds. Just because you helped your SIL get a job does not mean you get to hold it over head and resent her that you don't get a free trip.

It is normal for parents to ay for a daughters wedding but no rule to do it either. I feel great helping my kids if they need it or just because but I am not obligated even if I have it.

SparklyIsMyFaveColor said:

YTA. You have a husband problem, not an in-law problem.

WestCovina1234 said:

YTA. How they spend their money in none of your business. Why you had babies with a man, and later married him, when he apparently contributes nothing to the household finances is your problem. "It’s key to note that they try to pass themselves off as being incredibly rich (expensive cars, always talking about being rich).

" No, it's not key at all because other people's money is none of your business. You sound like someone who thought she was marrying into money, only to find out that the new in-laws actually expect you to pay your own way through life. You do have a problem, but it's the one you married, not the family you married into.