'AITA for calling my boyfriend childish after he lies about a food allergy?'

"AITA for calling my boyfriend childish after he lies about a food allergy?"

My boyfriend told me at the beginning of our relationship that he could not eat onion due to an allergy. Because of that I removed onion from basically everything I cook even though it completely ruins a lot of flavor profiles.

Over the last two years I have caught him regularly eating onion in guacamole, jarred sauces, and processed foods without any issue. The guacamole incident was especially ridiculous. I noticed he ordered it often and asked why onion never bothered him in that. He put on a whole act like the restaurant should have warned him because he got no onion on his burrito.

The restaurant explained there was no onion on the burrito but he ordered guacamole and did not specify no onion. They also explained that guacamole is made earlier in the day and onion cannot be removed. He even argued with me that onion is not normally in guacamole. Despite all this he continues to insist onion is a major problem.

The thing is he clearly does not have an issue with the flavor since he eats it unknowingly all the time. It seems like texture is the real issue which would be completely understandable, but instead of just saying that he exaggerated the problem and now rewrites his reactions depending on whether he knows onion is present. That makes me feel gaslit.

This past week he suggested we make fajitas which obviously include onion and bell pepper. I questioned it and he said he wanted to try. While cooking he commented on how good it smelled and afterward kept talking about how good it tasted. Tonight I made bolognese with onion. He started eating and said yum.

After finding out I used onion he dramatically put his fork down and said he knew it tasted like crap. I got angry and told him this was ridiculous. He liked it until he knew there was onion in it just like the guacamole situation. At this point I called him childish! I regularly eat foods I very much dislike just because he will eat it. He’s selfish and we can’t afford to make two separate dinners all the time.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

the_lost_girl_04 wrote:

As someone with an a genuine allergy (not to onions but still), this infuriates me. It’s people like this who lie about allergies that people don’t take people with ACTUAL, SOMETIMES DEADLY, allergies seriously.

How hard is it to just simply be honest and express dislike in a food for whatever reason? You don’t need to lie about it, and you especially don’t need to complain about a meal that someone else went out of their way to prepare for you!!! NTA. If I were you, I’d leave him, because it seems to me he’d continue to be this way, and won’t change.

hylia_grace wrote:

NTA, my eldest child will not tolerate the texture of onions or mushrooms, but has never skipped a meal where they are blended. Compromise is important, but it fails if you refuse to communicate.

If he told you it was a texture issue, you could have worked with that to keep you both happy. Instead he selfishly decided to make it a pretend allergy without thinking of the concern it could cause you and the extra work too.

Personally this would be a deal breaker for me, as I live in a household with genuine allergies and intolerances I respect the work put into making food safe for the people involved. If he's okay to lie about this, what else will he lie about? Tread carefully if you decide to stay with this one.

MontanaPurplemtns wrote:

I have allergies that express as eczema, hay fever, hives, and anaphylactic reactions. I also don’t eat onions. I’m very clear with my family about which foods will make me miserable or k**l me, and which are ones I just don’t like.

Onions- it’s the texture unless they are cooked enough to caramelize into one sweet overcooked pile. My husband cooks with them but leaves them in big pieces so I can pull them out and not have to eat them. Yeah. Your bf is childish. It’s a fair call.

Impossible_Smile4113 wrote:

So, um, if he's that big of a baby, why does it sound like you're doing the majority of the cooking? Whenever I have a meal on the meal plan that one of the family members doesn't like, they can either suck it up or offer up their own option that they will cook. If he's this big of a pain, make him Master Chef.

And maybe insist that in order to make sure you're avoiding cooking any foods that might aggravate any potential allergies, he needs to go get tested for food allergies and share those results with you so that you can best adjust your cooking when you do make meals.

Because let's face it, he's boldfaced lying to you, which is bad enough, but being an AH when he's caught is going an extra mile and acting like he's two.

YTA if you continue to put up with this BS. He needs to grow up, do what big kids do and pick out foods he doesn't like when he comes across them in his meals like you know, an adult, and he needs to be honest with you and quit being an AH when he gets busted. And you need to hold him accountable and quit letting him steamroll you.

Party-Boat-1131 wrote:

NTA. But do you not have any self respect? This is what you consider a good candidate for dating? You would want this man raising a kid with you? Cmon if you're posting to reddit about him being childish, but you're DATING HIM, that just makes me think you're just as childish.

crab_grams wrote:

NTA. He probably started telling people he was allergic because in my experience, when people figure you just don't like something, they start trying to figure out ways to sneak it into your dishes to prove you actually DO like it. If they think you'll die about it they might just leave you alone and take you seriously when you say no. He should have just come clean and talked to you about it, though.