"AITA for calling my brother a prude because of a movie?"
My family and I (23 m) have a movie club like a book club where each family member will pick out a movie each week. It’s a good way for all of us to come together since we all live in different cities. Recently, we’ve decided to include mine and my twin brother’s significant others. My wife and his gf.
When it was my brother’s GF time to pick the movie she chose Poor Things. I had seen it before and enjoyed it but I get it that it’s more on the artsy/surreal side and contains quite a bit of nudity. We happened to all be in town this weekend so we decided to watch it together at my parents house.
Before the film started I emphasized several times to my parents and brother that the film contained some graphic nudity and everyone said that they were fine and we went ahead and started watching. My parents in particular mentioned that they would be okay with it.
The moment a graphic scene shows up in the movie my brother lets out an audible groan and loudly exclaimed to the rest of us, “We’re just watching smut!” Similar comments came from him for the rest of the movie that I tried to brush off because I was just trying to enjoy the movie.
As soon as the movie ends, my wife and my mom talked about different story elements and moments that was almost immediately interrupted by my brother saying, “I just don’t think there was any point to all that nudity. I don’t want to watch smut with my family.”
We ignored the comment to finish the discussion we were having before he interrupted which cause him to go, “Hello? Is anyone even paying attention to me?”
I got fed up with how he kept interrupting and I admit I snapped and said, “yes, we get it, you’re a prude.” And then turned back to the conversation at hand. After that he immediately got up and yelled at me, “I’m not a prude because I don’t want to watch a whole movie that’s just bedroom scenes. You have no right to disrespect me like that.”
He stormed out of the room and went upstairs. His gf, who had been actively discussing the movie stopped and went upstairs. My mom immediately tells me I have to go apologize. I said that I wasn’t going to because it pissed me off that the sex was all he took away from the entire movie.
My mom completely flipped gears about her thoughts on the movie agreeing with my brother that there was, “too much intimacy” and “it all seemed unnecessary.” I refused to apologize and my wife and I left shortly after. My wife told me in the car that even though she thought that it did have a lot of bedroom scenes, she could see where he was coming from even if he went about it the wrong way.
She didn’t think I should’ve apologized though since this sort of thing happens all the time when he doesn’t get his way. I just always feel that my mom takes my brother’s side because he’ll put up more of a stink about spending time with us after.
But I still think the fact that he wasn’t able to watch a movie with nudity in a mature way is a bit prudish. So AITA for calling my brother a prude because of a movie?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Mango_Sunrise2 wrote:
NTA you told him earlier it had graphic nudity. Idk why your brother didn’t say something beforehand if he isn’t okay with graphic nudity.
OP responded:
I especially tried to emphasize it to him because I know that nudity sometimes bothers him.
Chibilintermission wrote:
ESH. You suck for ignoring and belittling his contributions to the discussion. The 'pornification' of ostensibly non-porn movies is a legitimate discussion point - and your "prude" comment can just as easily be flipped around on you: "Yes, we get it, you're a desensitized gooner"
Your brother sucks not because of his complaints, but because the movie was his partner's own suggestion - if he didn't want to watch porn with his family, he should have veto'd her before she even got to the point of broaching it with the rest of you. He needs to keep his own house in order!
SwirlyFlurry wrote:
Part of a book club / movie club is discussing what you liked and didn’t like about the movie. He was being rude about how he brought it up, but his opinion was that the movie had an excessive amount of bedroom scenes. You shut down that discussion before it could even happen.
Both of you were rude to each other. He was rude for interrupting, you were rude for dismissing his opinion and just labelling him a ‘prude.’
ESH.
SnarkyBeanBroth wrote:
I dislike gore. If someone tells me that a movie has gory scenes, I don't watch the movie. I especially don't watch it and then ruin it for folks who like those movies. I don't get the appeal of seeing someone's liver forcibly removed, but I'm not going to yuck someone else's yum.
If your brother doesn't like watching nudity and sex, and someone tells him that a movie has a lot of explicit scenes, he should not watch the movie. Calling him a prude addressed the wrong problem. The problem isn't whether he is OK with watching those scenes, the problem is that he knows he doesn't like it and decided to ruin everyone else's experience.
So you are an AH for being judgmental and name-calling instead of focusing on the actual problematic behavior. He's an AH for watching a movie he knew he wasn't going to like and then actively trying to ruin it for everyone else. Your mother is an AH for thinking that validating your brother's mantrum is a good idea. ESH.