'AITA for calling my brother selfish for refusing to split our inheritance with our stepsister?'

"AITA for calling my brother selfish for refusing to split our inheritance with our stepsister?"

My father died recently and left everything to my brother and I. My dad got serious with my stepmother when I was 11. My dad has raised my (step)sister since she was 6 and even though I was 11 I came to see and call my stepmother as my real mum. And I know my sister feels the same about dad.

When mum died she left everything to him. And I don't know why but dad changed his to leave everything to me and my brother. My brother and I were always accepted and treated equal by her and her family. Our grandparents on her side has always treated us equally and definitely included us as equal grandchildren.

Obviously my sister was really hurt, she saw him as her real dad and thought he saw us equal, but apparently he didn't. So I tried to talk to my brother and we should give her her third even if dad didn't include it. He refused because it's 'not what dad wanted', she could inherit from the rest of her family and whatnot.

But I think it's unreasonable and unfair. I mean it includes assets and money originally from mum. Plus mums will stated that if dad died before her it would be split among us equally. She didn't just favour her biological daughter over us. I got upset and called him greedy and selfish for going along with excluding her.

We had a big fight after that and my fiancee thinks I'm in the wrong. She thinks I should accept their choice and do what my father wanted. That I'm being an ass by insulting my brother and disagreeing. I can't agree, it feels like I'm betraying my sister and mum. AITA here?

Edit for clarity: by my mum left everything to dad, I was referring to my stepmother, who I early said was my real mum and have only referred to. Sorry if it was unclear

This is what people had to say to OP:

CADreamn said:

So, he (your dad) took your step mom's money when she died, but gave it all to you and your brother and none to her own child. How is that fair?

This kind of bullshit is why I'm making sure any step parent that comes into my kid's life doesn't get a dime. Like, if one of my kids gets divorced and re-marries then dies, the money can never go to the step parent, only to the children of my children.

Your dad was an ass to do this. Your brother is also being an ass.

simagus said:

Nobody is stopping you giving a share based on half of what she would have gotten, but you can't force your brother to. If it means that much to you, then of course you'll split your share.

If your brother ever changes his mind he can give her the portion of the third he currently has. Lead by example and if he doesn't follow, that's his prerogative.

No_Scarcity8249 said:

Hold on.. was it originally your stepmothers money? Whos money was it originally? Is your step mom still alive or was it your bio mom who left everything to your dad? Also what country are you in? Im in the US and in my state depending on these circumstances she would have a legal claim. Need clarification

OP responded:

I'm from Australia. To my understanding she doesn't fit the criteria for family provision since she's not dependent on him so I don't think she can contest the will.

And it includes my stepmothers money. My bio mother is still alive and no inheritance yet, not that I really want any from her.

Two weeks later, OP shared this update:

I appreciate everyone taking the time to offer thoughts and judgements, even if I don't agree with everything. Also for clarity: The inheritance included money and assets from my step mother (I call her mum, not my bio mother, which I seemingly did not make clear enough in the original post).

She left everything to dad, because at the time they had identical wills that left everything to partner, or kids equally if they survived their partner.

After the post I gave my brother a few days for us to calm down and to see if his mind would change, but it didn't. So I decided to talk to my sister. At advice from a commenter I brought up suing under family provision but she was against it and basically said the money isn't worth the time and money in court. So I told her I would just give her half of my inheritance.

She tried to reject it, but I insisted and she ended up accepting. We talked a lot about everything and our parents, she was angry and sad enough to cry just trying to understand why dad did what he did. I reassured her that whatever dad thought, she's my little sister, I love her and nothing would change that.

Neither of us understand why this happened or what his reasoning was, but she's definitely happy and appreciative that I don't feel the same. Next week I'm going to see someone to find the best way to give it to her to minimise losing a chunk to taxes and whatnot, but so far I think I'm making the right decision.

As for my brother, I just can't accept his choice. With how many people thought I was overreacting or wrong to expect him to do differently, maybe I'm being unreasonable but I just can't see him in the same way now.

He gladly chose money over his sibling, over his family. He clearly doesn't care about the unfairness on our sister. Maybe it'll change but right now I just can't stand to be around him. I hope the money makes him happy, because that's clearly what he loves more.

Unfortunately the situation hasn't changed too much, but I feel a lot more confident in my choice. While my fiancee still ultimately thinks it would be best to follow dad's wishes she understands that I want to do right by my sister and is alright with it. I'm glad I wasn't completely crazy or irrational in wanting to a just outcome for my sister.

For now I plan to be there for my sister and make it clear I see her as a sister and actually love her, she deserves it with everything she's going through. As much as I feel from this, it must be much worse for her and she doesn't deserve it.

Thank you all for the responses, judgements and advice.