'AITA for calling my coworker creepy and gross and getting him in trouble?' UPDATED 2X

"AITA for calling my coworker creepy and gross and getting him in trouble?"

So I'm 23f and I started this job a few months ago. Im the only woman in our department of about 30 people. This one guy 50s male has been telling me about all the younger women he's slept with and making insinuations towards me. He kept telling me how he pleasures women.

I tried to be nice and ignore it, I tried saying I wasn't interested and he just kept going. Finally I lost my patience and snapped at him. I told him he was creepy and gross and that I was never going to be interested in some old man 30 years my senior. Management overheard and pulled me aside to find out what happened.

I told them about his comments to me and he was written up for s#$ual harassment. This is his second write up (the first was for injuring someone.) he's been at this job a lot longer then me and now half the department is angry with me because he is about to be fired and they think its my fault and the other half are on my side.

They said I "didn't have to be such a b#$ch about it" and that "he's like that with girls he finds attractive and I should be flattered" and "I shouldn't have yelled at him because now management is involved" Work is really uncomfortable now because half of our department doesn't want to work with me.

ETA: They're also pissed that all of us have to go to sensitivity training now. Thank you for all the support. I am going to keep in mind what everyone is saying and I wont tolerate being bullied. Just as a clarification Mr Creeps first write up was for injuring someone. He was pushing a large server enclosure too fast and not watching where he was going and ran over someone injuring them.

Not long after posting, OP shared a small update.

UPDATE: So people know the time frame here. This happened Monday. The case went up to legal. I had a meeting with the department head about this and told him about the retaliation. He addressed the Department. Mr Creep was told not to return Monday. Legal and HR came back with the decision to fire him.

The internet had lots to say in response.

Oldlady0 wrote:

NTA. Congratulations, you stood up for yourself and refused to tolerate sexual harassment. You should be proud of yourself. And shame on your co-workers who actually said you should just tolerate it and feel flattered. What are they, living in 1950?

OP responded:

They're also pissed that all of us have to go to sensitivity training now.

Oldlady0 responded:

And they should go to sensitivity training! It sounds like you are surrounded by a bunch of men who are used to treating women poorly, and resent being called out on it. Again, congratulations for standing up for yourself. And do not let these other men bully you, and if they do report their a#$es too!

alongstrangesomethin wrote:

NTA. That was s#$ual harassment and that can’t be tolerated. Your coworkers are in the wrong for being accepting of that behavior.

Funkativity wrote:

NTA and you should report every single comment you've gotten from the others directly to HR. It sounds like this company is overdue on cleaning out all these garbage people.

OP responded:

Oh god this place is such a boys club.

Terrorizza wrote:

Tell your coworkers that it is not flattering when a strange man 30 years older than you talks to you about how good he is at “pleasing women”. It is revolting. gag retch spew NTA.

OP responded:

IKR he was so gross and creepy like ewww grandpa settle down.

Terroriza wrote:

It’s like being hit on by a giant iguana.

OP responded:

Seriously. Like dude is balding, overweight and old. Like gross no way. I can do way way better then him and seriously even if I was going to have a fling with a coworker (I'm not, so not) it wouldn't be him.

A month later, OP shared an update.

So I went to my boss about the retaliation and he said he would address it. There was a meeting called and I was taken into the boss office while they had the meeting with everyone else. He basically laid down how things were going to be from now on. After the meeting I was met with mixed response.

Some of the team leads flat out didnt want me on their team. I was told things like "If you didn't want to be objectified you shouldn't have been a model" ( I did some modeling work in college for money) "Have you tried looking less attractive to dissuade them" one guy got particularly upset and basically told me "It was just locker room talk, guys do this.

Everything was fine before you got here but now everyone has to walk on eggshells to not offend the girl. If I cant handle how guys talk maybe you should teach kindergarten" There was also some genuine sympathy for me.

Two co-workers told me they were gay and afraid to say anything. We all got hauled into a seminar about diversity, prejudice and sexual harassments. There was a lot of eye rolls and groaning. Turns out this is bigger then me. Upper management wasn't happy with my boss's predecessor or the department and my Boss was hired to clean house.

Guess who just volunteered to be cleaned out? A lot of things didnt meet his standards. A lot of the people who have been at the company for a long time were unhappy that none of them were promoted to DH and because they've done thigns a certain way and my boss was changing things.

My boss has been busy putting his own team together thats loyal to him because a lot of the old timers aren't with the new agenda, I am part of the boss's new team which leans younger. This is another reason for the hostility towards me.

My Boss has been looking for reasons to get rid of a lot of the older people. My...admirer... was among them. He's gone now. Management decided he was too much of a liability between this incident and the injury he was responsible for due to his negligence. They gave him his last week so he could leave with a paycheck from a full pay period as a courtesy to him.

Anyway a few of the team leads said they didn't want me on their team because I cant "get along with the guys" my current team lead volunteered to take me on and he's the one who is filling me in on all the politics around here.

My boss took me in for a meeting to see how things were and if I was being bothered. He asked me to please be patient and bear with him because he wants to make big changes around here and wants to keep me as part of those big changes.

He said before he can get rid of a lot of those people he needs to bring in and be able to keep their replacements and if I stuck around he was going to need new team leads and I could be one of them. Anyways for now I'm going to stick with it and stick with my boss who seems to really want to keep me.

ETA: I've seen a few comments about age discrimination so let me clear a few things up.

First when I say older I'm referring to their hire date as older then my boss' start. Although he is hiring mostly younger people because we have more current training.

2nd while it is true that many of the people on the chopping block are older theres some who aren't and it isn't about age.

They are on the block because they either have a bad attitude and are unwilling to conform to the new changes or whos skills are out-of date.

3rd all terminations have to be cleared by legal and HR.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

River273_15 wrote:

Awwww your boss sounds great. All of those dudes talking about "locker5oom talk", "guys will be guys", "have you tried looking less attractive to dissuade them?" are blame shifting and victime blaming and are all major AH. I hope those big changes happen fast so you don't have to deal with them.

OP responded:

My boss is really nice and has been swamped with crap since he started.

SammyLoops1 wrote:

Sounds like this is all working out nicely. I love updates. And I can't believe so many guys at the office condone harassing you and saying you should be flattered. That's really disturbing.

Sounds like a lot of the old guard got so comfortable in their position that they feel they can talk like they're in their local bar and have forgotten what it means to be professional. Good to hear they're cleaning house there.

OP responded:

This department did not keep up with times. When my boss started we were still using win server 2008 and old database software made for win xp by someones college student kid. Theres no support for it and we were having to keep old win7 machines running in compatibility mode because it just will not run in win10.

My boss ditched it upgraded to newer stuff but the old guard had grown comfortable. Many of these guys cant use the newer versions of winserver and ad. That's part of why my boss brought us on. We were younger with more recent certs.

NotSoAverage_sister wrote:

NTA You shouldn't have been a model? What is this nonsense? I mean, it's not just about looks, it's also about grace and poise and style and other things, but a big thing about being a model is the appearance you are born with. How are you supposed to help this?

I really hate the, "if you dressed like a frump, you wouldn't be objectified" approach. It makes zero sense, and then u would probably get hit with the, "why don't u dress nicer?" line anyway.

These guys are AH, and they are for the first time facing professional backlash for their a#$hattery. And they don't like it, go figure. But instead of having a healthy response, like inward reflection, they are blaming you.

Stick with it. It sounds like your boss will be rewarding the people who work hard and are contributing to a positive work environment, which includes you. These guys can either get with the program or move on. I'm happy this is working out for you!

OP responded:

I don't even know how they think I should dress honestly. I'm not wearing revealing clothes at work. I'm wearing pretty standard business or business casual. Maybe they want me to stop wearing clothes that fit properly? Or just wear a sack I guess? I guess any hint of the female form is too much for their poor minds.