'AITA for calling off my wedding because of a broken coffee mug?' 'I even dug in the trash.'
"AITA for calling off my wedding because of a broken coffee mug?"
Some context so we have a pretty big family (3 step kids, 2 kids we have together and I have one from a previous relationship) . We have been together the last 5 years and living with each other the last 3.
We are set to have our wedding in a few months from now and today It hit me I couldn’t do it. Stepkid broke my coffee mug (it was a cup given to me by my brother and it has a lot of sentimental value to me) .
I’m in the kitchen and our daughter (f4) comes running to me and tells me (sk.8) broke the coffee mug. I was pretty upset but then my fiancé (f28) calls our daughter a liar. So I ask her so he didn’t break it and she denies it and says he didn’t. So I spent the next hour looking around the house for the mug.
I even dug in the trash 10pm at night to see if it was thrown away. She even comes over to ask me if I had found it yet. Then I hear her tell our daughter to tell me it was a different cup and when I confront her about hearing that she again denies it and calls our daughter a lier again.
I was completely shocked. I was upset about the cup, but at this point I’m just lost for words how she could keep lying about something “so small." She told me I was being dramatic about a cup something so small and irrelevant. When she said that I just told her I couldn’t do this anymore.
If she couldn’t tell the truth about something like this then clearly we aren’t ready to be married and right when I tell her that she tells me the truth that he broke it and she cleaned it up. She saw me digging in the trash, called our 4 year old a liar and called something she knew had a lot of meaning to me Irrelevant.
At this point I don’t even think it’s about the mug anymore This has been ongoing issue for a bit now it just seems like me against all of them and it’s been taking a toll on me. So AITA for calling the wedding off?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
usernameyodaddy said:
NTA. She lied multiple times and called the kid a liar all to cover herself. Then she watches you dig the trash and says nothing, then she insults you yeah NO major Red flags. It was something so minor but she risked everyone but herself!
Token_or_TolkienuPOS said:
Man you are one of the lucky ones. Most people ignore and rugsweep all these little but blatant signs they experience in bad relationships. For some it's tangible literal evidence and for others, it's a gut feeling but they choose to be in denial. God it giving you undeniable proof that she's not the one. Take it. NTA.
omgwhatisleft said:
NTA - be very careful that this person is supposed to protect your children and teach them.
Ok_Young1709 said:
NTA. Call it off, if she's willing to lie about that what else is she lying about? And she's willing to get your shared kid into trouble to save her own brats. Nope. Get out while you can, it's bad enough you've got a kid with her. Be careful on shared custody, god knows how she'll treat your shared child now, she will see them as the reason she's not married.
Sea_Seesaw_1483 said:
NTA. Once your eyes are open you can not unsee what she is doing.
Monalot-a said:
NTA. I think you know in your heart this relationship is done.