'AITA for calling out my husband for faking sick in front of my kids?' 'Act like a GROWN MAN.'

"AITA for calling out my husband for faking sick in front of my kids?"

I (41f) am a SAHM for my 3 kids. My husband has a very good job and makes enough to where I don’t have to work and can stay home with the kids. 3 months ago my husband had to take time off work because he had a really bad case of the flu. I took care of him for about a month. After that he started noticeably feeling better. He no longer ran a temperature, wasn’t throwing up, wasn’t coughing, etc.

So at this point it has been 2 months of him being completely fine and still not working. He also still expects princess treatment from me. I’ve told him so many times that we’re running out of money and he either needs to go back to work or go to the doctor and find out what’s wrong.

I also am unable to work because my youngest is 6 months and my 2 year old is disabled and she has a really hard time being without me. Last night at dinner I absolutely lost it on him.

My oldest daughter (15f) was asking about a new phone. I told her that we were in a tough spot at the moment, and that meant we couldn’t get fancy things like new cell phones.

My daughter totally understood and she didn’t say anything else. But my husband said “well you could have a new phone, the problem is Daddy is sick and Mommy doesn’t want to work. So until she gets a job we can’t afford things like food, or the house, or anything.”

I was in absolute shock. We are not at all in a position where we can’t afford the house or food. I told her that I couldn’t go to work unless he wanted to take care of the baby (which he doesn’t know how to do), help my oldest with her homework, drive her to and from school, cook, clean, and give my middle one her meds and the attention she needs.

I also said that maybe if he would stop faking sick and act like a grown man then the kids wouldn’t have to know about our financial state. He got pissed and stormed off. Then he said that I was an ahole and a horrible mother for ridiculing my children’s father in front of them. I personally think what I said was probably wrong to say in front of the kids, but definitely not worse than what he said.

Here's what people had to say about this one:

OhmsWay-71 said:

NTA. You just found out that he doesn’t actually care about you as a person. He wants your labor. He is not going back to work, or if he does end up going back, will be a baby and resentful about it.

No, you should not have said that in front of the children, but when we are confronted with something shocking, we don’t get to control how we react because we react usually on emotion in that situation.

He chose to say that in front of them. He started it and knew you would be shocked. He did not come to you and say that even though he’s starting to feel better, something feels wrong and he needs a doctor.

He didn’t come and say that he has loved being off and thinks he needs a career change. He tried to make you the villain of the house. That is not a partner, that is someone who is trying to hurt you.

Apprehensive_Toe7188 said:

NTA but you should call his work and see if he even has a job to go back to.

Significant-Bat-1168 said:

NTA but you need a good divorce lawyer like yesterday.

ScarletNotThatOne said:

NTA. He started it by inventing some reason to shame you in front of the kids. You just corrected the error. Yes he was embarrassed -- he should be.

rosegarden207 said:

NTA. Does he even still have a job anymore? I can't imagine any business letting you be out of work for 2 months without some disability papers signed by a doctor. Something to look into.

Consistent-Pickle-88 said:

NTA. Wowww he’s just trying to stay at home to do absolutely nothing.