"AITA for 'ruining' my husband’s family trip?"

I (25F) and my husband (28M) have been married for 1 year now and have a two year old daughter. My mother-in-law always called us sinful for having a child before marriage, despite the fact we were engaged when we conceived her. She was conceived a few weeks after my husband’s proposal.

So we had to push the wedding a little bit back, which ended up being on my mother-in-laws birthday party, causing her to cancel her plans for the wedding. She has hated me and my daughter ever since, it’s ridiculous. A month ago, my husband was invited on a trip to Barbados by his mother and the rest of his family. It was a family trip. I was thrilled to go with my him and bring my daughter along with us.

That is, until he broke to news that I would not be able to attend because of the issue with my mother-in-law prior. I thought that was water under the bridge, at this point. I found out that his sisters’ husbands and kids were allowed to go, though. I pretended I didn’t care. “Yeah, I can stay home and watch our daughter all alone while you party in the Caribbeans.”

I said to him 2 days before he was to leave. When I went to drop him off at the airport, I saw my mother-in-law and the rest of the family gathered around. I decided to go say Hey, and I took my daughter with my when I left to car. When I announced myself, my mother-in-law had the nerve to say, and very loudly, “Look, it’s the bastard child and her greedy mother.”

I was shocked, and pissed. I said, “Well, we’re married now. I won’t allow you to invalidate my relationship and my child any longer.” She was visibly mad, and the family started to talk. After that I just left and kissed my husband goodbye.

A week into the trip he called my and said I ruined the trip, his mother was crying and mad at him and that it’s all they are all thinking about. So, AITA for ruining a good family trip over little insult?

What do you think? Commenters had a lot to say. They offered their advice and insight, holding nothing back:

ThereIsntEnuffCwBll said:

When your husband flies back in, go to the airport, drive to drop off and pick up, wave at him with a smile, and dump all his shit out onto the sidewalk and you and your baby drive off for your new, better life. Seriously. Screw that guy. And his mother. NTA in any way shape or form.

[deleted] said:

NTA, but why would you stay married to someone who would not only allow your child to be called a bastard to her face, but then have the gall to go on holidays with that person and then blame you for upsetting them when you (rightfully) called them on their shit? Why on earth are you still married to this dude?

Cry_Original said:

NTA Your MIL embarrassed herself by being soo rude. Tbh I cannot believe your husband still went on the trip without you and didn't stand up to his mother and defend you when she bullied you in front of others. To me, that would be unforgivable!

And [deleted] dropped the mic:

ESH. Your MIL for her behavior. Your husband for not standing by your side since, one, you're his wife and that's his daughter, two, you didn't have that child through an act of God and immaculate conception, three, leaving you behind to party with the people who just insulted his entire immediate family, and four, continuing to blame you despite you not even being there.

You for planning your wedding on a day you knew would antagonize your MIL, for exposing your child to her after antagonizing her yet again at the airport when you dropped off your husband knowing what she's like, and lastly, for remaining married to a man who refuses to defend you or your child from such hateful attacks, and who chooses to make you the sole bad guy. Good grief.

OP later shared this update:

I called him at 2AM this morning, It was 4AM and I was kind of hoping for a no answer. He didn’t answer. But he did call back at 8AM asking if he could speak to our daughter. I said he could talk to her when he put his mom in check, and set boundaries. I also mentioned a possible break.

He asked me what I meant, like I am some idiot. I told him his mom was continuously invalidated our family, and to stoop so low to call our daughter names. He said, AND I quote - “I’m not my mother. I do not control what she says. You are absurd for suggesting divorce.” Which I never did, I said a break.. which was pretty obvious.

I told him he didn’t care for him immediate family if he doesn’t stand up to her. Instead of manning up he hangs up on me, when I text him why did he do that. This is what he says, - “There is bad wifi around here.”

Hope she kicks him and his family to the curb, asap.