'AITA for calling out my aunt after finding out she lied about having cancer?'

"AITA for calling out my aunt after finding out she lied about having cancer?"

My Aunt Cathy has a long history of health problems, but she also has a pattern of exaggerating them and blowing things way out of proportion. This has been going on for years. She frequently gets my grandparents worked up and stressed when they already have their own issues to deal with.

She’s on disability and can’t drive because of a seizure disorder, so my grandpa often takes time off work to drive her to medical appointments. The problem is, she’ll guilt him into taking off work and then either still be asleep when he arrives or tell him she canceled the appointment because she didn’t feel well. Many of these are specialist appointments that took months to schedule.

A few months ago, she called everyone in the family and told us she had cancer and only had a few months to live. We were devastated. She asked for help making funeral arrangements and spent hours on the phone with family discussing what kind of casket and headstone she wanted.

Later, I was talking to my grandpa and found out he hadn’t taken her to any cancer appointments because a friend had been driving her. Given her history, I was suspicious. When I asked her what kind of cancer she had, she just said “blood cancer.” When I asked for more details, she said she didn’t want to talk about it.

Not long after that, she had a severe seizure and was hospitalized. I went with my grandpa to visit her. While she was heavily medicated, the doctor came in. My grandpa asked if her seizures were getting worse because of her cancer treatments. The doctor responded, “What cancer?” He checked her chart and said the only blood-related issue he saw was iron deficiency anemia.

My grandpa didn’t press the issue. After the doctor left, I was furious. My grandpa told me to keep quiet and suggested maybe she misunderstood something. He asked me not to bring it up.

I decided to keep what we learned to myself to avoid upsetting my grandpa. I started ignoring her calls because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay quiet if she brought up her cancer again.

Recently, she sent me a long text saying she was hurt that I’d been ignoring her and that I hadn’t visited her in the hospital. (She didn't remember me being there as she was heavily medicated).She also said she “doesn’t have much time left on this earth.”

I finally snapped. I told her what the doctor said at the hospital and that there was no record of cancer. I told her I needed space and that she needed mental health help for putting the whole family through months of stress and grief. I called my Grandpa and he is furious with me for adding to her stress. Now I’m wondering if I went too far. She does have real physical and mental health issues. AITA for calling her out?

This is what people had to say to OP:

DJ_Too_Supreme_Mk3 said:

NTA. Many people unfortunately lost to cancer and people who pretend to have cancer for attention are major AHs.

"My grandpa told me to keep quiet and suggested maybe she misunderstood something." I have to disagree with your grandpa OP. Your aunt told everyone she had cancer and had a few months to live, no way she misunderstood anything. She did this solely for attention

Delicious-Papaya-389 said:

NTA everyone (especially your grandpa) needs to stop enabling this behavior. It’s disruptive to other people’s lives and mental and emotional well being as well. Someone should read/send her the fable about the boy who cried wolf.

ETA if her mental health is that bad that ppl excuse her shenanigans, maybe she should be seeing a therapist/psychologist.

Public_Reaction2129 said:

NTA but IMHO your aunt has a serious mental health problem. 13 months ago I was told I had cancer. As a person who really has been told they have cancer I find her behaviour and lies are truly abhorrent.

jerrrrremy said:

NTA. Your whole family should also know about this. Her mental health issues do not change this.