'AITA for calling out my sister-in-law's lies during my wedding?'
"AITA for calling out my sister-in-law's lies during my wedding?"
I (32 F) and my brother (29 M) have never really been close to begin with. It only got worse over time, but more so when he started dating this crazy B. My first introduction to her (30 f) was when they were young teens and dating. She was... Off...
Fast forward to several years later. They had 2 kids and wanted to get married. They wanted a big wedding, but couldn't afford it, so my grandparents, my parents, and her parents all pitched in and went along with everything she wanted.
A few months before the wedding, I was asked to be a bridesmaid (was questioning why from the get go..) and if my daughter (4) could be the flower girl, but I was in charge of paying for the dresses.
She chose this god awful Barney purple from a chain bridal shop. I ordered our sizes. The dresses came, but her mom held on to them so they were all in one place for the wedding.
Two weeks before the wedding, I get a FB message from her. In summary, she was telling me that everyone disapproves of me. She said flat out "I think it's best if you don't show up". She still wanted my daughter to be the flower girl though.
I agreed that my daughter could still be the flower girl since she was really looking forward to it. I asked my parents to take her to the wedding, not really explaining why I wasn't going.
A little background of me was I went through some tough times in my late teens. I got clean and at that point was over 5 years clean. I did still drink, however, so I believe that's where this was coming from.
My relationship with my parents was rocky at that time. It had a lot to do with the bridges I burned during my late teens episode, regardless of how long I was clean for. Another story for another time. Needless to say, they didn't ask why and I never told them why.
The wedding took place and everyone from both families and their friends were in attendance. I was bombarded with messages after saying how awful I was for backing out last minute! What!?
Apparently, my sister in law had told EVERYONE at the wedding that I backed out. With me being the outcast already, I didn't feel the need to beg for anyone to believe me. They were all distant to me anyways, so why spend my energy trying to convince people that wouldn't believe me if I told them the sky was blue...
Then comes the dress debacle. I had asked repeatedly to come get the dress so I can return it and get my $250+ back before the return window closes. It was excuse after excuse from her. (It was in storage, my mom now has it but she isn't home, my mom is sick and can't meet you to get the dress, so on).
I didn't get the dress back FOR A YEAR.
I used it as a Halloween costume after a little bit of my seamstress magic and turned it into the Meg dress from Hercules.
Let's fast-forward several years again to MY wedding. It was a week long camp out wedding on 14 acres of family property with 80 people in attendance. Relationships had been mended with my family.
I never really thought about her wedding throughout the years. I mean, it bugged me sometimes, but it was more about how awful of a person she was with some current things she was doing.
She was dirty, a self proclaimed stay at home mom when they cannot afford it, and just... weird. My wedding was a hit. With champagne, camp fires, beautiful lighting, and dancing until early hours.
The next day, my kiddo came to me telling me about her trash talking during the wedding regarding HER wedding and how bad I messed it up. Then, my grandma and parent came to me saying the same thing. She just couldn't drop it and had to let everyone know.
I was FUMING! But here's the thing about technology. Once it's out there, it stays. I finally remembered that she sent those messages on FB. I pulled up her messages, including her years worth of excuses regarding the dress. I made sure to pass it around to those that she was complaining to.
It may be petty, but damn it felt good. I mean, not that she hasn't shown her true colors throughout the years.. but to sit there and try to drag me on my wedding!? Something snapped. That back bone I had been growing really kicked in. So, AITA for calling her out at my wedding?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA...I personally believe that it's her own fault. She bad mouthed at your wedding. She knew that she sent them on Facebook. It's karma IMHO....if you can't take it don't dish it out.
Please update us!
NTA! She was telling lies to people. FAFO, in my opinion! Good for calling her out.