Woman discovers SIL's online posts mocking her family's names for years. AITA?
"AITA for calling my SIL weird and obsessive for always using mine and my siblings names as examples of bad names?"
Plus-Breadfruit-9802
My husband found out for the last 2-3 years his sister has been a member of two different baby naming groups. One on Facebook and the other on a parenting site. At least once a month, but can be up to 5 times a month, she will post the first names of me and my siblings and say we're examples of bad names.
Even calls them tragedeighs and she lies about how much we all hate our names, how we have struggled to be taken seriously. It's crazy. She was rude to my face about it a few times, asking why I'd willingly tell someone my name.
My husband put her in her place and told her she was being rude and wasn't going to be allowed to continue without consequences. My SIL has two kids. I knew her before kids and each pregnancy she made a point of saying my name was on the never list and how she did not hate her kid.
For people who will wonder about the names of me and my siblings; I'm Meadow (F) and my siblings are Easton (M), Birdie (F) and Indy (M). I had another sister who was stillborn. Her name was Destiny. My SIL has also used her name in her insults about our names.
Anyway, we see her far less because of her comments about mine and my siblings names. Only when we really can't avoid seeing her without avoiding the rest of the family who are great.
But once my husband found her long history of using our names as "bad name examples" I really couldn't hold back my comment the next time she tried to mention my name/my siblings names.
My SIL mentioned she might be pregnant and started on names and mentioned mine and I told her to stop right there and told her I know about her weird and obsessive use of mine and my siblings names when giving examples of what she considers bad names.
I told her it was so damn weird and I told her it was disgusting she was using a stillborn baby's name the way she is. My husband had my back and told my SIL she's over 30s, she's a mother, and it's time she grew up.
My SIL went into freakout mode. She said my husband had no reason to snoop on her like that and really dug in defending her comments. She said I can't make her like my name and it's crazy that I would defend my parents giving us such awful names.
I told her I don't care about her liking or disliking my name but she brings it up all the freaking time. I also told her knowing about those comments make her obsessiveness and weirdness even worse. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Comfortable-Sea-2454
NTA - your SIL IS obsessively weird. No reason to "snoop" on her when she is publicly trashing you, your siblings names, including a stillborn. She needs help to get over her "obsession" with your names. She is not normal. Glad hubs has your back.
The OP responded here:
Plus-Breadfruit-9802
Using my stillborn sister's name was really what had me seeing red when I realized. Of all the ways to complain, using a dead baby's name to do so is incredibly low.
Cute-Development7287
NTA, it's not like your name is spelled Meddoughe....
Inevitable_Project49
I love you and your siblings names! They are original but must be heck trying to find anything with your name on it lol. Glad to hear your husband has your back. NTA!
Stormandsunshine
NTA. It's fascinating how someone can be so annoyed by something that doesn't have any impact whatsoever on their own life, that they spend hours and hours telling others how annoying it is. What is she even getting from it? If she doesn't like your names, she can choose others for her own kids. She sounds exhausting to be around.
cloudiedayz
NTA- she’s being unkind. We all have different tastes in names but there is no need to be mean about it if they are not to her taste. She misunderstands the term tragedeigh as none of those names actually fit into that category but even if they did, what she said/posted would still be unkind. Not to mention giving identifying information on the internet without your permission.
cicadasinmyears
NTA. You’ll soon see that there are tragedies (say, like naming your kid “Cinnamon”) and tragedeighs (like naming your kid “Synnamyynn”). Are some of your siblings’ names a little quirky?
Sure, maybe - I would expect that normally “Birdie” would be a nickname for something, for example - but there are no tragedeighs among them. She’s clearly fixated on it for some odd reason.
Sometimes people just like having other people agree with them; it could be as simple as that. In that case, she’s even more of an asshole, because she doesn’t need to pick on anyone to have an online conversation in which she feels validated.
Lazy_Description_373
Yeah I agree with you whole heartedly! It is extremely weird and creepy that she has made this such a thing to keep bringing up, does your brother know about the groups she’s in?? I really think she shouldn’t be invited to family events.