'AITA for calling my sister a lazy leech after she demanded I babysit her kids EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND?' + UPDATE
"AITA for calling my sister a lazy leech after she demanded I babysit her kids EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND?"
Throvavay483728
So here’s the deal: I (28F) have a full-time job that requires me to work long hours, plus I have my own life and social commitments. My sister (30F) has three kids (ages 6, 4, and 2) who are adorable but, let’s be real, a handful.
Ever since she had the third kid, she’s concluded that I should step up and be her personal babysitter every weekend so she can "have a break" and go out with her friends.
Now, I love my niece and nephews, but I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my entire weekend just because she can’t manage her own parenting responsibilities. Last week, after yet another weekend spent babysitting while she was out partying, I finally snapped.
I told her that I felt like a “lazy leech” for relying on me to do her parenting for her, and that she needs to find a proper solution rather than just dumping her kids on me. She flipped out and called me “selfish” and said I “clearly don’t care about family.” I told her she was being entitled and that I have a right to my own time, too.
Now she’s gone and told the whole family I’m the jerk, and everyone keeps texting me saying I should help her out more. AITA here for wanting to have my own life instead of playing second mom to her kids every weekend?
Edit: Dad is a deadbeat alcoholic, so he is not a viable option for the kids.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's initial post:
Ready_Cash_5714
NTA. Any family member who tells you you should help out more, reply with this “Thank you for supporting my sister! I’ll let her know that you have volunteered your time to babysit for her every weekend!”
Ringham_24
Absolutely! All the family members saying OP should keep babysitting every weekend are only worrying about being asked to chip in themselves.
Valuable-Job-7956
There was a post a while back where a another Sibling was in a similar situation as you. Her sister was demanding she babysit a lot and her family was pressuring her to just give in and do it because family helps family. So she made a schedule where everyone had a turn because family. Maybe you could do something along those lines and see who steps up to dance and who runs.
BeebosJourney
If she wants her weekends free why did she have three kids lol.
Familiar_Raise234
Tell her no. If she shows up anyway to drop them off, don’t answer the door. Or already be gone when she usually shows up. Her children are not your responsibility. Tell those pressuring you to care for her kids to do it themselves.
Three hours later, the OP returned with an update.
Throvavay483728
So, apparently, my sister went full drama queen and has turned our family into a soap opera over this. I guess being called out for her entitlement really struck a nerve. Not only did she tell my parents that I'm a horrible aunt, but now she's trying to get my extended family involved! She's texting cousins and relatives, playing the victim card like it's a championship sport and saying I'm "abandoning my responsibilities."
But here’s the kicker: She somehow managed to scrape together the cash to hire a babysitter for one night last weekend! Apparently, she’s capable of arranging childcare when it's something she wants to do, like going out partying with her friends, yet I’m still the bad guy for wanting to live my own life!
Honestly, I can't even with this double standard. So now, instead of standing up for myself, I have to defend my right to enjoy my weekends without being guilt-tripped by the family. They seem to think I’m just supposed to fall in line and prioritize her lifestyle over my own.
Just to clarify, I completely support a parent's need for a break. I’ve offered to babysit occasionally but when it becomes a required duty every weekend? Nah. I told my sister she needs to find a real solution instead of relying on me as her free childcare service.
So to the family members still texting me about how I should "help her out more," understand this: I have a life too, and I'm not about to sacrifice it because she feels entitled to my time.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
canyonemoon
Switch your messages to your family members up: "thank you for wanting to help sister out! I'll let her know". Maybe they'll think twice about volunteering someone else's time.
matchamagpie
Another case of people being way more generous with someone else's time compared to their own.
HelloJunebug
“Abandoning your responsibilities”?! lol her kids aren’t your responsibility. You did a favor for her a few times and she took advantage. You don’t have to defend shit, just set boundaries and move on. Sounds like there are plenty of people available in your family to help, they just don’t want to and you’re the scapegoat.
honeyxomilf
Your sister has this main character energy. Enjoy your free time w/o dealing with her problems. Her kid her own cargo.
CyaneHope2000
People should not have kids if they truly do not understand how kids are not a toy and their responsibilities over them is 365/24/7. Yes they are allowed a break, but expecting other people to change their lifestyles to accommodate their inability to deal with kids is not a break, it’s excepting someone else to be the parent for them.
Bonnm42
Text the family in a group chat say “Since all of you think my Sister deserves a break, which one of you are going to offer to watch her 3 kids? I realized you all were right, family should help, so I think you all should step up? If you all share the responsibility, it won’t be like how it is for me, where I am supposed to give up every weekend.
If you don’t want to offer to help out because of your own lives, may I suggest you all stop being hypocrites!” Than block them all. They only want you to step up so they, and your Sister, don’t have to.