'AITA for canceling a reservation my sister made at an expense steakhouse?'
"AITA for canceling a reservation my sister made at an expense steakhouse?"
AITA for canceling a reservation that my sister made for 12 people at a Brazilian steakhouse with the expectation for my vegetarian wife and I to pay for everyone? I said something to my sister privately about not going to Brazilian steakhouses because my wife (of 20 years) can not eat there.
She suggested that I would be able to save a few dollars on the total bill by my wife "taking one for the team" and eating a salad. I instead catered a meal in my home that everyone could eat. My sister then called me out at dinner for being "a cheap a%$@ole" (the steakhouse is around $100 per person) ate then left with her family of seven.
OP answered questions in the comments:
Why is your sister making reservations on your dime, at all? Why bother canceling? If you didn't book it, and you didn't eat it, why would you pay it? Leave your sister to dine where she wants. Just don't be there to eat. Or pay.
Charlie_1300 OP:
I canceled the reservation out of courtesy to the restaurant.
Missing info: why were you paying?
Charlie_1300 OP:
That makes two of us who are unclear about why the expectation was for my wife and I to pay. My thought is because we were being kind and offered to host at our home.
The entire story makes no sense. Kinda wondering how much is made up
Charlie_1300 OP:
I wish this was made up. This is my family in a nutshell.
Was it some special event like anniversary etc? Otherwise I think one should select a restaurant where everyone can eat. She can go to the Steakhouse with her friends without your wife. (PS out of curiosity I just checked the site of our Brazilian steakhouse in Toronto and there are vegetarian options, the one where you live should learn from it!)
Charlie_1300 OP:
My wife has done the same. I do not put her in those situations if I can avoid it. It was a family occasion, and we were being kind and generous by hosting.
This doesn’t make any sense at all. Your sister booked a reservation for her family including you and your wife, told your wife to take one for the team by being vegetarian, which you said she is, to save money (??) and you have no f^%$#g idea why you had to pay? wtf.
There are some socioeconomic reasons, but I am not going into that.
There may be socioeconomic reasons sis can’t afford to eat there but there is no reason for you to be voluntold to pay. Especially for such a big family. She was tripping. Good for you for setting those boundaries. She got a free feed. She should be grateful and not a choosy beggar.
Why does your sister get to spend your money for you? What gives her the idea she can bully you for what you do with your own money? Why does she get away with calling you cheap, when she wasn't willing to spend over 1,200 dollars to feed the group? And considers it "nothing" when it comes from your account?
Why is she planning outings with your account in mind, and overruling you on where and what you'll be eating? (She feels entitled, and as though she can. You've allowed that.)
Your money? Your location. Your reservation. Your budget. Your guest list. I say from now on, she severs herself from your finances and always pays for her own meals. On her birthday her single meal is covered and it has a cap of $25. That's it. She never makes reservations on your dime again or she's not going to be invited to anything anymore. It's beyond time for some tough love, and reality. For both of you.
Charlie_1300 OP:
I'm pretty good at saying "no." This one floored me.
So your sister invited 9 of her closest friends + you & wife to an expensive dinner with the expectation that you would pay for it?
Charlie_1300 OP:
I must have left out that the 12 people are myself, my wife, and family.
Info: does your sister treat you to expensive meals with the understanding you take turns picking up the tab?
Charlie_1300 OP:
You already know that the answer is "no," but it's a great question.
I don’t get it and it seems others are confused as well. Was there some special occasion? Are there out of town guests? Are you the head of the family and expected to pay for all family gatherings as part of cultural expectations? More info needed, but being randomly asked to pay the bill for no reason?
Charlie_1300 OP:
None of the above. It's socioeconomic, but I am not discussing it.
Here's how people judged OP:
NTA she just wanted a free fancy meal. Boy she’s entitled.
Not to mention that her family alone made up more than 50% of the people going.
How else can she afford to eat out with a family that big?
To just assume someone else will cover it for a large group, no less, is some next-level entitlement. 🤯