'AITA for calling off my wedding if my fiancée doesn't agree to a prenup?'
"AITA for calling off my wedding if my fiancée doesn't agree to a prenup?"
OK, so I proposed to my fiancée about 2 months ago and we recently have started plan the wedding. I told her I'd want to create a prenup to protect my premarital assets and the assets and capital I'd receive from my inheritance.
Some context, my parents are wealthy and upon their death I'd receive an inheritance in the low-mid 8 figures. So when I brought this up with her she flat out refused and got defensive.
I tried to explain that I wasn't about risk the generational wealth that my parents and my grandparents worked away for on a coin toss and that this was something that was absolutely mandatory for me. She claimed that I was trying to start the marriage with one foot out the door.
So I told her until we came to a agreement to this marriage was of the table and I wasn't changing my mind on this. So AITA?
People had some back and forth with the OP:
There should be trusts and lawyers and financial people out the wazoo who are already involved with his "parents" wealth management. I have much smaller generational wealth in my family and there are trusts and lawyers and financial people involved.
aughCurrent4659 OP responded:
I'm not American nor do i live in a country that recognises trusts inheriting the assets directly is the only way i can receive them without a insane tax bill.
Prenups are valid. Divorce statistics in your home country are just base facts and people can't really get mad at them... but if I had any trepidation about something relating to a prenup, and my fiance started talking about how many couples in our country get divorced, I wouldn't feel like the way he chose to explain it speaks to his confidence in our relationship.
There's a difference between saying "Well, honey, statistically, majority of people in X country get divorced." And saying "I know it's not like we're expecting it to happen, but no one ever really does, so it's always wise to have a safety net."
LaughCurrent4659 OP responded:
A few years ago we ranked as number 1 in europe for divorces.
It's his family's generational wealth. Homeboy could be the dumbest brick in the building and still be mad wealthy because he was born into it without earning a penny.
LaughCurrent4659 OP responded:
i take offence to that but yeah more or less just lucky.
Offense*
'low to mid 8 figures' That's 50,000,000.
LaughCurrent4659 OP responded:
less than half of that amount tbh.
If your parents are so rich, why don't they have their own lawyers creating trusts?
LaughCurrent4659 OP responded:
dont live in a common law country we dont have trust here and the equivalent is way more complex and shit in the taxation department.
Here's how people judged the OP:
Referring to your upcoming marriage as a “coin toss” was probably not received terribly well.
Yea and referring to a prenup as protecting himself only, too. A good (and enforceable) prenup protects both parties. The way he's wording it is that he will have all the money and power and she'll be left high and dry if he eventually trades her in for a newer model. I'm a lawyer so I believe strongly in prenups but the way OP handled it was...not good.
INFO. Where do you live where premarital assets, gifts, and inheritance would be considered marital property? Even in community property states, this is separate money unless you commingle it.
Lawyer here: The above is 100% correct.
Well, it is extremely telling that she is fighting a pre nup.
NTA, given the assets you’re seeking to protect. Your fiancée contributed nothing to your premarital assets, and wouldn’t be entitled to your inheritance upon divorce as long as you didn’t co-mingle them with family assets. If your fiancée thinks she’s entitled to your inheritance/pre-marital assets, she’s a gold digger.