'AITA for canceling on my friend's birthday because of the bill?'

"AITA for canceling on my friend's birthday because of the bill?"

I (26F) was invited to my friend Maya's birthday dinner at an upscale steakhouse. When she first invited me, she said it would be her treat since it's her birthday and she recently got a promotion.

Day of the dinner, she texts the group chat saying her boyfriend suggested we all split the bill equally instead "to make things easier." There's 8 of us going. I checked the menu and entrees are $45-$85. I'm on a tight budget right now and was only planning to go because she originally said she was covering it.

I texted her privately and explained I can't afford to split an $80+ per person bill right now, but I'd love to take her out for coffee later to celebrate just us. She got upset and said I'm being cheap and ruining her birthday.

Her boyfriend texted me saying everyone else is fine with it and I'm making it awkward. A couple friends have since told me I should've just sucked it up for one night.

I feel bad but also think it's unfair to change the terms last minute and expect everyone to be okay with it. I would've declined from the start if I knew it was a split bill situation. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Normal-Grapefruit851 said:

NTA. No one gets to tell you how to spend your money. You accepted a kind offer. That offer was rescinded. You gracefully acknowledged that and said the new offer was out of your budget and proposed an alternative.

No_Scarcity8249 said:

Wtf? You can't pull money out of your behind that you don't have. Also...splitting the bill equally is bs. You'd be ordering the cheapest thing and not getting drinks and they'd be going all in. Splitting bills equally is always a way to get other people to pay your way. Every single time. AHs. You don't have the money.

WeegieBirb said:

A real friend doesn’t ask you to go into debt for them. NTA.

pottersquash said:

NTA. Drop these people. They are not your friends. They are willing to let you suffer for their amusement when they could've just let you get coffee and live within your means. They don't want friendship.

Wanna add how mature and reasonable you were to be vulnerable enough to speak to your hardship with them and offer an alternative that made sense. That A+++ humaning.

RegretCommercial2998 said:

NTA your friend should respect your financial boundaries. No point in putting yourself in debt just to keep up appearances or appease friends. She doesn’t sound like a very good friend if she is going to have her boyfriend text you and make you feel bad about your decision. Keep your boundaries in place or else they will be constantly pushed.

Odd_Opportunity_6011 said:

NTA. Splitting equally almost always screws someone over, just pay for what you order.