'AITA for canceling my bachelorette party after my MOH invited her friends who bullied mine?' UPDATED

"AITA for canceling my bachelorette party after my MOH invited her friends who bullied mine?"

Alright, buckle up, because I have a story that is just begging for the tea to be spilled. I'm getting married soon, and I asked my friend "Daria" (43F) to be my Maid of Honor. Big mistake. HUGE.

She offered to plan my bachelorette party, a 3-day weekend trip. Sounds great, right? Wrong. For four months, the only thing that was decided was a villa she had supposedly chosen. No activities, no budget, no real plan. This is where the clown car pulls up and the whole circus gets out.

Act 1: The Uninvited Guests First, Daria creates the group chat. And who's in it? My friends, and... two of HER besties, "Karen" and "Victoria" (also in their late 40s). She didn't ask me, she just informed me that her friends would be there to "help." So now we have two cliques: Team Bride (my friends, all in their 30s) and Team MOH (her crew, all in their 40s).

What could possibly go wrong? For two months, the group chat was a warzone I wasn't even in. My friend "Eretria" is a straight-shooter and asked practical questions about the non-existent plan. Team MOH immediately decided she was a disrespectful peasant challenging Queen Daria's authority.

Act 2: The Absolute Train Wreck of Events The drama unfolded in a series of increasingly unhinged arguments: • The Great Villa Catastrophe: Daria was super vague about the plans. So, Eretria, trying to be helpful, finds a STUNNING luxury villa owned by her close friend that we could get for next to nothing.

After a massive argument about the public price (which we wouldn't be paying), Daria dramatically cancels her original, mysterious booking and tells Eretria to book the luxury one. Here's the kicker: Eretria was swamped at work and couldn't reply for a few days.

More importantly, after seeing how vicious the chat was, she told me she couldn't possibly ask her friend to rent their gorgeous home to a pack of wild animals she didn't know. She was terrified Daria's friends would wreck the place. So, Eretria backs out. The result? Team MOH blames Eretria for everything, and we're left with NO villa. • Gift-Gate 2025: This is my favorite part.

My friends suggest getting me a beautiful, high-quality silk lingerie set for about €150. It's my favorite color, blue and my friends loved the idea. Karen, one of Daria's cronies, immediately finds a €22 polyester nightmare on some knock-off website and suggests that instead. Then Daria herself chimes in, insisting the gift must be white because "it's for a wedding, not a birthday."

My friend pointed out it's a gift from my friends for my bachelorette party, not a religious sacrament. This resulted in Karen going NUCLEAR and writing a whole novel in the chat about what a snob Eretria is.

• The Final Showdown: Another friend of mine, who had been silent because she couldn't make the trip, finally had enough. She stepped in to defend Eretria from the constant attacks. Victoria, the other MOH crony, immediately pounced on her, accusing her of "showing up just to start drama."

Act 3: The Ultimatum At this point, I'm getting hives just thinking about being locked in a house with these women for 72 hours. This isn't a party; it's a psychological horror film. So, I did what any sane person would do: I pulled the plug. I cancelled the whole weekend trip.

My fiancé and I went to Daria's house to confront her and gently explain that to save my own sanity, I was thinking of doing two separate, peaceful dinners: one with her and her friends, and one with her and my friends. You guys. She had a full-blown meltdown. She told me that was "not right" to her friends and that if I dared to split the party, she would not come to either event.

So let me get this straight. She invites HER friends to MY party, lets them bully MY friends, her "planning" single-handedly ruins the entire weekend, and now she's giving ME an ultimatum? Because I don't want my bachelorette party to be a cage match?

I feel like I'm losing my mind. So, tell me, am I the villain for cancelling this party from hell, or has my MOH officially lost the plot? What would you do?

What do you think? AITA for cancelling this party? What would you do? This is what commenters had to say:

SlinkyMalinky20 said:

I think Eretria should be your MOH.

matrix11001001 said:

Forget cancelling the party from hell - you should be cancelling your friend from hell. Her true colours are showing and she's not worth your time or energy to negotiate with. I would seriously consider ending your friendship with her after she and her unwanted friends bullied your true friends.

GloomyMapleSyrup said:

Cancel it but remake it with the people who are putting you first

WarmFuzzy1975 said:

It sounds like Daria is not the friend you thought she was, and is not recognizing this as a time to celebrate your marriage. I would seriously reconsider, asking her to step down from the MOH position, and asking someone else to step up into the role.

And christinisamathnerd1 said:

Why are you best friends with a bully who mistreats the people you say are your friends? There is absolutely no way that this is the first time your maid of honor has mistreated people. It's likely just the first time that it impacted you directly. You are who you are friends with.

Two hours later, she shared this update:

Wow. Just... wow. I honestly didn't expect my post to get so much attention, but thank you all for the responses, the support, and the very reasonable questions. My phone has been buzzing nonstop. You guys asked for some clarity, so here's the tea you've been waiting for.

A lot of you are asking the million-dollar question: "Why in the world did you choose Daria to be your MOH?" And that's fair. Based on my last post, she sounds like a nightmare. But the Daria who planned this horror show is not the Daria I've known for years. When my fiancé and I asked her to be our MOH, we knew her as an incredibly kind and noble person.

She and her husband have a wonderful family, and we genuinely saw them as an example of what we want for our own future. In my country, there's also a tradition of picking an experienced married couple who can guide you through life, and they seemed perfect for that role. The person who unleashed her friends on mine is someone I don't even recognize.

Now, about her two friends, "Karen" and "Victoria." They weren't complete unknowns. We've met them before, but they're definitely more in the "acquaintance" category. This brings me to the other big question: "Why did you let her invite them?" Honestly? I should have had the backbone to tell her no from the start. That's on me.

But Daria has three kids and a demanding job, and when she said she was inviting them to help her, I took a step back. I love her (she is my friend, after all!), and I wanted her to get all the help she could. These acquaintances had never been rude or obnoxious to me or my fiancé before, so I thought, "What's the harm?" Famous last words, I know. So, what's next?

The comments have been a huge reality check. My fiancé and I are a team in this, and we're done with the drama. We are meeting with Daria and her husband tomorrow. The goal is to have one last calm, adult conversation and see if her ultimatum is final.

If she really thinks it's okay for her friends to treat my friends that way, and if she's really going to ditch my bachelorette party (and potentially my wedding) unless she gets her way, then we have our answer. And if her ultimatum stands, we will be changing our MOH.

It's heartbreaking, but my wedding is supposed to be a happy time, not a hostage negotiation. I'll let you all know what happens after the meeting. Wish me luck.