'AITA for canceling my vacation because my sister is sending her kids?' '3 kids spanning 4-6.'
"AITA for canceling my vacation because my sister is sending her kids?"
Ayyeee all, need to bounce something off ya. We've been planning a family vacation for months. This would be my first vacation in 15 years, and it's kindof a big deal. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and this year is just the first year I've enjoyed getting out.
My sister has had her struggles in her adult life, and she has 3 kids that spend half their time with their grandparents/My parents. They're fun kids, but they aren't well mannered. They don't listen unless it involves yelling or being asked multiple times. Telling them to not do something, often results in them doing it when nobody is looking.
Today we get together for Father's Day and I find my sister isn't going, but she's still sending her kids. This frustrated me quite a bit, but I definitely wasn't going to speak my mind around the kids.
I decided to give it a few hours and reset to observe what I could expect. 3 kids spanning 4-6, just bullying adults until they get what they want. My vacation quickly began to look like I was just leaving the state to babysit.
I'm not a parent, I'm not good with kids, but I don't hate kids. I don't want to spend my week trying to get a handle on 3 kids at a camp ground, despite my parents would still do most of the work. I told my parents I wasn't going on vacation, and that I didn't sign up to watch my sister's kids.
I know my mom feels terrible, and I feel like I've put her in a difficult spot. My sister has a job and boyfriend, and less free time than I'm sure she'd like, but she's no single mom with no support system. I don't think it's right to just expect someone take your kids on vacation, while you sit at home. AITA?
Later, OP edited the post to include:
Thanks all, I was feeling pretty sh%tty and selfish with the plans of leaving tomorrow morning. After calming down and reading your responses, i think I made the right, and understandable choice. I'm going to stick to it.
To those wanting to make sure I get a good vacation, i promise to make it my most enjoyable and active staycation to date. I still have a state park pass and Kayaks aren't bad, I'll certainly make the most of it.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
jm123457 said:
No. It’s your vacation, and if you won’t have a good time, then don’t go. It seems a valid reason to say no.
CarcosaDweller said:
F-k that noise. NTA, but please take a vacation of some kind. One you will enjoy.
Harrymoto1970 said:
Nope. They are her circus her clowns. There is nothing wrong with taking a vacation for yourself.
Ok_Perception1131 said:
NTA. Your parents might choose to spend that time with your sister’s children, but YOU don’t have to! Even your sister doesn’t want to spend the day with them; why should you?
shammy_dammy said:
NTA. You'll hate and resent every moment of it.
Chaoticgood790 said:
NTA I love my nieces and nephews and they are well behaved. But it’s not vacation when I go to visit them, I’m wrangling kids. I certainly wouldn’t want to go away just to be responsible for 3 kids unexpectedly. Esp ones that are not well behaved.
Arquen_Marille said:
NTA. You’re allowed to relax on your vacation without having to wrangle someone else’s kids even if you’re their relative. I’m a parent and I wouldn’t want to wrangle someone else’s kids on vacation unless I had agreed to it.